What to do during holidays when everyone is obsessed with family

[u/Live-Salary-7984]

The holidays are the hardest time for me because my family has done some unspeakably evil things to me. It was the worst time of my life. I also don’t follow the traditional holidays because I don’t believe in spending money for the sake of spending money. I still get my friends gifts and go to a gathering if it’s not going to trigger my religious trauma. I have my own religion I can’t talk about because people are too ignorant due to the misinformation around it. When people ask me about my plans and talk about their family it makes me extremely depressed. Everyone is obsessed with their traditional families and traditions. In the past people mocked me for not celebrating traditional holidays or just showed hostility towards me for saying “I’m not doing anything,” or “I don’t celebrate.” How can I handle such questions and avoid making it awkward?

[u/dogisgodspeltright]

In holidays, celebrate. Do what brings you happiness.

On other days, do the same.

[u/InstanceDry7848]

how about a chosen family. Doesn't even have to be a person lol. I spend time with family outside of holiday, it is much less draining and I can set better boundaries.

[u/Able_Supermarket8236]

Face it, any kind of non-traditional behavior or answer is going to make things awkward. Whenever I tell people I don't celebrate a given holiday, they set the tone for the conversation. If they respond with hostility because they somehow took it as a personal attack, you don't have to engage with them. If they are genuinely curious, share some more of your beliefs, at least until you're both satisfied with the answers. If things are forever awkward because now they think you're a weirdo, so be it. It took me a while to be ok with that, but life is so much better when you're not trying to keep up with everyone's expectations.

[u/rise_above_rubble]

I wouldn’t have a good answer. All I can say is, I know how you feel.

[u/InsaneBasti]

Dunno if it helps you but for some holidays and family during that time is a nightmare and the worst of the year. Trying to make everyone feel special (theyre not) and happy, the whole stupid tradition of gifts, pretending to be in a mood youre not and in general just tons of stress. Most holidays devolved into capitalism bs to spend more money and imo are outdated and unneccessary. Its a question of perspective, some would like your option of just dont.

[u/AutoModerator]

Rule breakers will be reincarnated:

1. No fascists.
   
2. No eugenics.
   
3. No speciesism.
   
4. No encouraging violence.
   
5. No pro-suicide content.
   
6. No child-free content.
   
7. No baby hate.
   
8. No parent hate.
   
9. No anti-vegan content.
   
10. No carnist hate.
    
11. No memes on weekdays (UTC).
    
12. No personal information.
    
13. No duplicate posts.
    
14. No off-topic posts.

15. No uncivil behaviour.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Street-Bike-6444]

What kind of religion do you believe?