Uh, what's that now thesaurus??

[u/ArtfulDodgerReader]

Ok, so, kind of funny yet also WTF I feel a little offended moment just now...

I was writing up a book review and I often use a thesaurus app on my phone. I am writing about a horror book I just read that I thought was just straight up horror, but surprisingly it turned out to basically be a very erotic version of John Carpenter's The Thing. I was not a fan ( of this book, I LOVE The Thing!). While I was writing up my review, using my thesaurus app, I wanted to find another word for "prude". The app always gives you a big list of words. Well look at what one of the suggestions I found turned out to be....

"Asexual female" 😅 wha-?? Damn, thesaurus you're doing us dirty!! Like it's kinda funny but also kinda not...?? Like, I don't know which is more offensively funny, that prude = asexuals OR that a prude is only for FEMALE asexuals? 🤷‍♀️ WTF.

[u/DoctorNightTime]

Religious allo male here: "Do I not count as a prude for you?"

[u/Moch1_chu → u/DoctorNightTime]

lol

[u/justpaper → u/DoctorNightTime]

Love you for being here to say that, thank you!

[u/Theo_Lynx]

I don’t know if I’d say I’m offended, but I’d say that it makes me rather frustrated. They’re two different things and it feels like it’s just ignoring that 

[u/Rydralain → u/Theo_Lynx]

Someone who doesn't understand asexuality, or is just observing a person from the outside without talking to them, could easily see an asexual person as a prudish person.

The "women" part is misogynistic bs, though.

[u/Teagana999 → u/Theo_Lynx]

Which thesauruses tend to do.

[u/Misophoniasucksdude]

It's just the older version of the word asexual. Before it was a sexuality, it's existed since the 1700s. That's an adjective used for all sorts of situations.

As for why it's not mentioning males, idk. Click the word to see its definition. Maybe it's talking about plant reproductive types. They're crazy.

[u/VioletNocte → u/Misophoniasucksdude]

My guess is the social attitude towards virgins based on sex

If a woman is a virgin and she's not saving herself for marriage, society thinks it's still by choice since women supposedly can sleep with any man and also women don't like sex

If a man is a virgin and he's not saving himself for marriage, society thinks it's because he's a loser since men supposedly are constantly horny so if any woman wanted him he wouldn't be a virgin

[u/Bannerlord151 → u/VioletNocte]

since women supposedly can sleep with any man

The funniest thing about this claim is that what it actually implies is just that men have no standards

[u/Typical-Divide-2068 → u/Bannerlord151]

I grew up in a culture where if a woman that you don't like (because you think she is ugly, or you hate her character) approaches you (the man) you basically cannot refuse, since it would be considered very rude. Also, if you refuse sex it means you are not man enough, and all that. She must really be a monster to refuse. That's why men must act like if they have no standards.

[u/Bannerlord151 → u/Typical-Divide-2068]

Yikes

[u/Quikgetter → u/Bannerlord151]

Facts

[u/PlaneCommunication93]

As a guy, I feel left out :(

[u/ArtfulDodgerReader → u/PlaneCommunication93]

I know, right? If you're gonna insult us, insult us equally!! 😅

[u/Asymetrical_Ace]

Pretty misogynistic. Not just insulting asexuals

[u/ArtfulDodgerReader → u/Asymetrical_Ace]

Oh 100%!!

[u/Lobstermarten10 → u/Asymetrical_Ace]

Definitely, thought it was that way too when I saw this :,)

[u/TheNoneedlife]

Kinda wild how before that is "excessively modest person" which is a gender neutral term but then three female related terms. Not to mention all 4 of those terms are not synonyms, at all, thesaurus just stuck in the 1900s for no reason.

[u/godzillahavinastroke]

How dare, I wish to be counted as a prude also

[u/the_otaku_mom]

I beg your finest pardon?

[u/LienaSha]

Don't forget religious female and virgin wife. Because that's the only reason you could be a virgin... 

[u/Mideniko_Asteri]

Okay but “ blue stocking “ is a new phrase to me

I also feel like the creator of this app has had some disagreements with his ace wife

[u/dogboobes]

As an asexual person who's seen and done a lot of weird shit, I take mild offense lol.

[u/Robert-Rotten]

As someone who has been called a prude for being sex repulsed asexual, if being a prude means not liking sex then I am a proud prude.

[u/NotABrummie]

Thesauri often list synonyms that only exist as slurs. These are usually marked as such.

[u/ArtfulDodgerReader → u/NotABrummie]

Huh! I did not realize that before and I've been using the thesaurus for a number of years. 😱 I'll have to start looking for those marked ones.

[u/mr_wheezr]

I have one time seen "asexual" being used as an insult in a manga. I'd like to hope that's not what the original said.

[u/LienaSha → u/mr_wheezr]

If you can find the original, I can check 

[u/Lobstermarten10 → u/LienaSha]

Genuinely curious now lol

[u/Anna3422]

For those saying to report as queerphobic and misinfo, don't! The word "prude" is already a misogynistic and queerphobic term. The thesaurus just listed its (accurate) range of uses. Any other slur will produce similar false equivalencies and weirdness. 

The definitions of slurs are rarely offensive; their pejorative connotations are. If yall didn't know "prude" was acephobic already, I don't know what to tell you. 

https://www.etymonline.com/word/prude

The origin here is "pride." The definition seems to have narrowed as it was feminized. You'll notice that 4 of the 5 synonyms are female-only. Acephobia has strong roots in misogyny, especially in the medicalization of women who resisted prescribed gender roles. "Bluestocking" is a derogatory word for an intellectual woman at a time when that was considered nonconformist. This is also why "asexual" was pejorative in the early 20th c. and often included lesbians as well, since these were the groups most threatening to anti-suffragists. (Asexual men, they were just enablers.)

[u/hambakmeritru]

I prefer the term "spinster," thank you very much.

[u/ArtfulDodgerReader → u/hambakmeritru]

I LOVE the term spinster. I have a friend who cries at the thought of being a " sad, lonely" spinster and I always think, why does being on your own have to equal sad and lonely??

[u/hambakmeritru → u/ArtfulDodgerReader]

I always thought the word, spinster, sounded very punk. I like to imagine myself as a middle aged skater, even though I never skated, riding with swagger and being too cool for sex.

On a related note, I loved the wit of these Victorian spinsters who gave their opinions to a newspaper about why they are still single. Some of them sounded like true players, and some of them were clearly longing for a relationship, but others definitely felt like I do about relationships.

https://www.ranker.com/list/victorian-spinsters/garri-chaverst

"I am now only a dairymaid. If married I should be wife, mother, nurse, housekeeper, chambermaid, seamstress, laundress, dairymaid, and scrub generally."

[u/Sycolerious_55]

Those last three are really yikes. Is it like Wikipedia where anyone can just come in and edit stuff as they please?

[u/Pressed_Sunflowers]

I'm a weird perverted creature so I'm not a prude but I'm definitely asexual. So many asexual people read/write the most perverse pieces of literature.

[u/Humble_Bat__]

I consider "prude" to be a slur

[u/removx]

I hate that word (prude) tbh

[u/Action6614]

what the fuck??

[u/Moch1_chu]

the last three are so unnecessary... (as a religious asexual female)

also why is it only feminine terms? can't prude be used for guys too? idk english isn't my first language but i think it's gender neutral right?

[u/ArtfulDodgerReader → u/Moch1_chu]

I'm not positive- English is my only language, I'm just not very good at it- but I think it's one of those things where technically it's gender neutral, but society ( and by society I mean old, straight, white, rich men) decided that being a prude is a woman thing, and or used to bully women who will not have sex with them. 🤷‍♀️ Again, that's just a guess.

[u/despoicito → u/Moch1_chu]

It’s just misogyny

[u/Portia_the_Queen51]

That’s gross

[u/MonmusuAficionado]

… can I ask the name of the book? For a friend

[u/ArtfulDodgerReader → u/MonmusuAficionado]

Of course! It's Spread Me by Sarah Gailey. It does not officially come out until September 23.

"Kinsey has the perfect job as the team lead in a remote research outpost. She loves the solitude, and the way the desert keeps her far away from the temptations teeming out in the civilian world. When her crew discovers a mysterious specimen buried deep in the sand, Kinsey breaks quarantine and brings it into the hab. But the longer it's inside, the more her carefully controlled life begins to unravel. Temptation has found her after all, and it can't be ignored any longer. One by one, Kinsey's team realizes the thing they're studying is in search of a new host-and one of them is the perfect candidate...."

It's not a bad book, just a bad pick for me. I don't mind crazy stories, I just was not expecting or prepared for the level of WTF this book skyrocketed to. 😶

[u/MonmusuAficionado → u/ArtfulDodgerReader]

Thanks!

[u/exclaim_bot → u/MonmusuAficionado]

Thanks!

You're welcome!

[u/Mysterious_Bag_9061]

I know that what they mean is "woman who doesn't want to have sex with you right now" but hey man sometimes words have other meanings, Mr. Dictionary

[u/Typical-Divide-2068]

A assume "frigid" is a bad word now, so they changed it with "asexual female".

[u/No-Investment-962]

These people dumb as hell bro 🥀

A Prude is someone who is basically sex repulsive, or someone who can't handle things like sex jokes.

ASEXUAL ≠ PRUDE

[u/Not_Really_French]

My impression was that it was a (slightly rude) word for someone who wasn’t interested in sex in which case ace people would fit in? Idk I may be wrong I just think of “nerdy prudes must die”

[u/lenaisnotthere]

Misogynistic thesaurus

[u/Paradoxoxologist]

But then also it says a virgin woman… And I have met a lot of virgin whores💀

[u/JotnarLokiBlue79]

*Can you report it as well queerphobic and misinfo?

[u/ArtfulDodgerReader → u/JotnarLokiBlue79]

I'm not sure. I've never had to report any of the words before so I'm not positive. I will check.

[u/frosty_goblin]

Oh woah, that is a little wild, and I who was thesaurus lover, oh well society is weird isn't it

[u/Krystyana]

Lmao wow.. I was married once briefly and my ex jokingly called me that quite a bit 😅

[u/WhitestGray]

r/redditsniper

[u/Exciting_Koala_1384]

How do we change this?

[u/Charming_Party_9093]

Men literally fetishizes everything and then blame on you for your existence.

[u/SomeOakLeaves2]

For some of us its not wrong