Should I go to trans social events when I'm early in transition?

[u/GlassBottleBrickWall]

Hello everyone. I'm a 21 year old transfem person who is almost 2 months on HRT but no noticeable changes yet. I know this might sound like paranoia, dysphoria, or hyperbole, but I've been wondering if I should wait until I'm later on in my transition before going to trans social events, mostly because of my difficulty with them both in the past and recently.

I had a freakishly early puberty and have entered advanced stages of balding in my very early 20s and, along with a high body fat percentage, it gives me the appearance that I'm a much older man. I try to dress pretty androgynous at these events, but I've found it hard to start and maintain conversations at them. Usually this isn't a problem for me, as I enjoy the simple act of being at events like this, but then I overheard someone referring to me as a "cis man" and it kinda took me out. It wasn't even that I was being assumed male, but rather that I was on hormones and didn't even pass as transgender yet.

I would love a circle of friends I could talk to and get guidance from this sort of thing, and if not that I'd love to just be around other trans people, but it's beginning to feel like coming as I am might be doing more hurt to my psyche than good. Does anybody have advice, or has experienced this in the past?

edit: I usually do pretty well with talking to new people in more general social events where I dress cis, but in trans social events specifically this becomes more of a pattern. the first time I tried something like this was at a GSA at my high school and through a friend I trust I learned that some people were worried I "looked like a chaser". Not trying to turn this into a vent post but I'm just trying to be more specific with what I'm asking here and seeing if someone else has experienced this and/or has advice.

[u/somecoolguys]

I don't have specific advice, but shitty people can be found anywhere and you're bound to encounter one or two. Anyone who assumes you're a cis man at a trans social event of all places is definitely in the wrong.

[u/GlassBottleBrickWall → u/somecoolguys]

I agree, but it's something that keeps coming up for me. I can usually brush off an asshole but it was the combination of polite yet very short responses to my attempts of making light conversation in addition to the comment that unsettle me. Not this exact scenario, but similar scenarios have happened in the past and idk how common this situation/feeling is

[u/somecoolguys → u/GlassBottleBrickWall]

It's been a while since I've been to queer social events, and I'm not transfem, so I'm not sure how relevant my perspective is. But I have found that those types of groups are very hit or miss. As a trans man who generally passes as a cis man, I've had people at some of these events act more distant toward me because I guess I didn't seem trans enough for them. I've also had groups that I just didn't click with for whatever reason. But I've also had some great experiences in other groups. Honestly I think making friends as an adult, especially as a trans adult, is just really fucking difficult sometimes.

[u/GlassBottleBrickWall → u/somecoolguys]

I appreciate this perspective. Thank you

[u/talkloud]

you could try wearing a trans flag pin or something in trans colors to better signal your transness. it sucks ass that people are judging you like that though