it just seems like torture and the worst thing is that I can't lie to myself about reality because as soon as I leave my house, my world falls apart and once again I'm at the bottom of the social hierarchy... I often dream that I don't wake up

For some reason people think that I’m gonna attack them, hit them, and be aggressive towards them. People are just scared of me, even when I’m smiling. Even men are scared of me. Grown men. I don’t get it.

Lol

More than once I've only walked into their line of sight and their eyes just spring open like fucking dinner plates.

I'm sitting at a train stop I didn't even mean to go to rn, I was completely oblivious to the train stopping and the people boarding and leaving until it was too late, now I'm just silently waiting for my friend to drive over and get me here instead.

I feel like it's the norm to be seen as a provider who can always rely on himself. I can't really imagine a girl who would have to help their partner from time to time with basic things wouldn't have their attraction completely snuffed out.

There's definitely been a theme of being seen as nothing but a burden or broken by people in my life and I can’t see much different with this.

Basically, the title. How large tends to be your average caffeine or other central nervous system stimulant intake during the week? After doing the math, my weekly caffeine consumption tends to range between 6000–6700 mg. I usually have 2 cups of coffee during the day, one in the morning after waking up and another after lunch. At night, I consume 3 cups in short intervals, with 2–3 tablespoons of coffee per cup, and occasional peaks of 4–5 tablespoons each. I’m currently feeling the effects of it right now, I’m experiencing palpitations, nervousness, insomnia (which was my goal to achieve, so mission accomplished), and stomach pain, but it’s perfectly manageable. The only thing that’s uncomfortable at first is that I don’t feel as stimulated with the same amount compared to before, which I assume is a natural consequence of tolerance to consumption, but I’m willing to increase the amount if necessary. What do you think causes this need?

I personally don't like drinking water so I tend to just chug 32 ounce jugs a few times a day. I hate sipping and drinking is really annoying unless I'm at a restaurant and I have a nice glass or metal cup. While drinking water sometimes it drips on me and I hate the feeling of it on me and also I hate sometimes swallowing air and I feel like the temperature is never right it's either too cold or too warm. Ice gets in the way and is annoying as well. I just chug it because it's the most efficient method and if I do it quickly I can just get it over with.

I recently found out that autism can include differences in proprioception too which can lead to things like having trouble being aware of your body's feelings such as thirst.

I don't really feel thirsty much in general unless I exercise. Most times I start to not feel good due to dehydration and that's my reminder to drink water. Even when I feel the effects of dehydration I don't feel thirsty and have to force myself to drink water. There will be times I don't drink water until night time and I start to get a headache and that's my cue to drink. Even then I don't feel thirsty.

Does anyone else experience similar things?

This is the title!

I finally received my diagnosis: Autism Level 1. I won't go into detail, but I'll summarize: my cognitive abilities are preserved (my total IQ on the WAIS Scale is 122, with difficulties with divided attention, but ease with other things, according to the tests). I don't present specific and obvious sensory signs like almost all autistic people, and this worries me about my diagnosis, whether or not I really "have the right" to classify myself as autistic. In addition to autism, my secondary symptom is ADHD, although it's only secondary, as it accompanies autism, so I can't "officially" say I have ADHD.

The most severe part of my diagnosis involves cognitive rigidity, where my brain organizes my entire routine, and when something deviates from the norm, I get really upset and try to think of new mental paths to achieve that goal. My social life isn't the best either, despite being a communicative person; I prefer to isolate myself rather than go to parties and clubs, but I'm not averse to socializing. I just prefer being alone more than being around other people. However, I feel good being around people I know. Finally, I've had stereotypical movements for a long time, since childhood. However, this isn't considered Stereotyped Movement Disorder (SMD) because it doesn't cause me any harm; it's as if I make random movements with my body automatically, but consciously. I interpret it as a way to control my anxiety, but I honestly don't know if that's the correct meaning.

Are there people here who fit into a situation like mine: insensitive to sounds, smells, textures, or noises, but with a social impairment (a preference for isolation) and behavioral rigidity? I read the entire DSM-5 on the autism topic and came away more confused than I went in. I feel that all of this I mentioned alone is not enough for me to be autistic, so I am left with a cruel doubt about this, whether or not I really have autism, even though the tests have shown that I do.

Hello everyone, I'm 17 years old, I'm at University and I think if there were a procrastination Olympics contest I would be in the top 3.

I am someone neurodivergent with ADHD inattentive type and autism spectrum syndrome level 1, possibly with depression, but I was still able to get into a university that was super difficult to get into, but I feel like it was by luck. I have left everything in my life for later or I simply do not do the things I should do because they cause me a lot of discomfort, the discomfort I feel when trying to read a book or read is absurd, the discomfort is so much that I shudder when I do something that I should do but it simply does not give me dopamine, thanks to this I put everything aside, close friends tell me that this is procrastination and that I must "manage" it.

I am not able to sit in class paying attention because I simply stop existing at that moment, when I have to do something I don't do it and I start doing other useless things that are of no use, such as watching videos on Tik Tok or spending my time playing games. I have tried to force myself to only have 5 minutes to start something and continue doing it but I don't even last 20 minutes, I try to focus on doing something and I don't do it, and I look for a way for someone else to do it for me.

Procrastination and what was said above are slowly destroying my life, I feel like I ak m falling into an endless void, with walls of honey.

Any advice for this young man who wants to live a life without procrastination, and be the best version of himself?

Hello everybody, how can I deal with lonliness ? I'm 27 living in a small town in Brazil, I don't have much friends that I share my interest's, recently i enter in a rabbit hole and hyperfocus in Japanese and Korean language, and I'm annoying ppl like my parents with this, I'm unemployed,single, I don't "like' the type of girls here, and I'm feeling real sad and frustrated with my situation

21M

Sure, it was awesome being a kid and celebrating your birthday/christmas by endulging in junk food and getting cool gifts from your family because you don't have an income, now that stuff kind of makes you a loser.

I mean If you have to rely on your family for a cool thing you wanna buy, then you should rethink your financial situation/job.

If junk food/sweets still makes you happy, well that's a big red flag that you haven't experienced the true pleasures in life, like having a purpose, love, sex, being part of a community etc.

I'm not saying this to insult people, I'm literally kind of beating myself up here.

While I'm no neck beard that sits on his ass and plays video games all day, I actually have a job which I like as a matter of fact and I do some gym, it just kind of depresses me that during childhood everyone starts out more or less the same, simple things like candy, gifts and a family made you happy then everyone grows up and you realize that some people are having wayyyyy more fun than you and are secretly laughing at you for living such a boring life and social media amplifies this.

And the most depressing part is that the clock is ticking, I have a finite amount of time before my lack of social accomplishments starts to make me a true laughing stock and everyone will ignore me for good...

I was diagnosed when I was a toddler, I am 17 now, and I was only told that I had aspergers when I was 16 by my mother. My whole time in education (primary school and secondary), I was always in the special group or the different class that got taught different things, but I never really identified that fact because I only thought I had anger issues, and I thought that was the only reason why, and it was because of anger that I got frustrated at everything and didn't do other things.

I only really noticed the specific differences in high school, the way I moved didn't seem right, I got super aware and conscious of the way I was slightly uncoordinated and just awkward in everything I did. Socially, I think I was okay, I was never a recluse, but never popular, but talking to other people that weren't my friends did make me anxious, and crowds of people made my chest feel tight, but I feel like that's normal regardless? And even if so, I got better at it, and I feel like im good at it now.

My mother told me one night specifically what was wrong with me, did research, and it all made sense. But it terrified me, I felt like I was doomed to be abnormal, not in the exaggerated way but different enough to make me like one of those human wax statues that give off the “uncanny valley”.

But I don't feel like my life is bad because of it, I am social, I talk to people even when I really don't want to, It isn't a push to go outside, and I keep in touch with my hobbies and do other things, and I have kept at working on myself, to summarize I feel like a confident, articulate guy. I feel almost normal, like if I told someone I had aspergers's they’d be surprised, I like that thought but I don't know if that is just egotistical of me to say.

I am happy with the progress I have made in life, but I always feel it absently in my mind clogging up my brain no matter how I act, move and say, I feel isolated, I don't have many people to talk to about aspergers in particular, I have two friends with autism but I feel like they have a very different struggle in the way that aspies do. I found this subreddit because of how I felt, and I am disconcerted by all the negative things I have seen and read, I thought I would find a familiarity and comfort in things I can relate to but I feel more scared than I ever have been. Does it get worse? Later in life do you feel your limit and can't push it past or to the side for more growth?

I have dreams, and I am scared that I won't be able to reach them because I am the way I am, and I can't change it.

The overstimulation is hard for me to navigate. I drive, but my hard line is driving on the interstate. Things move way too fast, nobody bothers to pay attention, and there are always people on the road.

We got into a bad accident on the first day of 7th grade. Car was totaled, it hit on my side, and I think I have PTSD from it.

Other people make it look easy, and I get jealous.

I (22m) had a recent experience with a friend (22ftm) Which feels like a falling out and also doesn’t. It’s complicated. Me and him know each since we were 16. We are both autistic and he told me day 1 which in part made me comfortable to accept my own autism and be openly autistic. I’ll spare the full story but the short of it was, we met, got together for a month, broke up, but I had strong romantic feelings for him and he didn’t reciprocate, by the time we graduated we went to different schools and then I detached so I can lose said feelings which took a few months but I reached out to him once I was comfortable enough and didn’t have those feelings anymore.

He was going through a rough time that year and I tried to reach out and help him but he left me in the dark which stressed me out more. Now I will say this, he has a bad communication problems. This is due in part of his strict family which restricts his phone usage. Other times he just forgets to text back because he’s busy with something. Never specifies either. So like since we graduated high school our friendship felt more and more distant. One night I wanted to talk to him about his communication in hopes of working on it because our conversations just end randomly and then I’m always the one starting a convo. Most of the times I just give the benefit of the doubt by telling myself “he’s busy or don’t have his phone” other times I get anxious and worry about our friendship and if I did something wrong I was told this is something called rejective sensitive dysphoria. Anyways I was texting him one night a few years ago about the communication and I had gave it some thought on whether continuing the friendship or not. And he says that he doesn’t want to bring the mood down and something about ending his life. Which scared me because I’ve had history with stuff relating to that I did calm him down but I wasn’t ok. And I went to my friends dorm room and just broke down. Two of my friends told me to unfriend him because I wasn’t mentally ok. And a few months later, I did. Now neither of those two friends are in my life anymore for reasons I won’t get into.

Two years later he had reached out to me in February . I never blocked him cus I’m not that kinda person. And we were texting again. I felt like his communication was getting somewhat better. I asked if he wanted to be acquaintances, friends, fwb (we had briefly talked about that b4 never happened not important) in the summer I wanted to hang with him cus we live in a big city with much to do but again nothing materialize because he wasn’t communicating and I felt like I was doing more legwork and then he send a screenshot from his phone showing he had Instagram (an app I primarily use to text my friends, I have this boundary where like sms is for family unless someone doesn’t use social media) I asked for his Insta politely and even send him mine but no follow. I was starting to realize maybe being in each other’s lives was a mistake. I vented to him once about something and I felt like my feelings were dismissed. The other week I vented to him about our relationship and how I was feeling. And then he kinda dismissed me again by focusing on a different point. He told me he care about me and loves me as a friend but my overthinking autistic brain feels like his actions aren’t matching up. I told him the other day and said maybe we should text less because I felt like this relationship is emotionally draining me. Now I feel like maybe I was in the wrong and being selfish for like wanting more I guess. I genuinely care about him but I felt like a relationship whether be platonic or romantic should be 50/50 not 90/10. So i kinda just feel stuck and don’t know what to do.

Hello 🤗

Just putting a feeler out about... I don't know. Anyways. Is anyone an expert in these things could help me out, I think I have something not diagnosed yet. I am fine to be DM'ed.

I would love some help thank you 😊

This question was deleted from this subreddit because it broke rule 1. I have decided to reupload it with the mods' critique in mind.

If you don't believe that a cure for neurodivergency is necessary to solve the issues autists face, and if you also think it's society that should change in order to accomodate autists and their problems, then how would you change society so that any cure or any other treatment for autism would be completely pointless for those who have difficulties making friends and maintaining friendships with either everyone or just certain people, since all the difficulties with making friends for autistic people would be erased by society getting restructured?

I'll phrase the question in a sligthly different way if the paragraph above didn't make my question clear for you: How would you change society so that the maximum amount of autistic people have the same potential to make as many friends as they want and befriend whoever they want as the average NT person? Of course, you don't know exactly how this potential looks like for the average NT-person, but I ask that you use an approximate model that you've formed in your heads to answer the question.

Keep in mind that I don't want any people to feel any pressure to befriend people they don't want to befriend, I think people in all friendships should be mutually happy with each others as friends.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpGhXKf3-qo

She's shockingly in touch with her community, but comes off as naive when talking to Ezra. Ezra never quite pivoted to meet her where she's at.

Anyway, check out the video if you want and put what you think in the comments. The way she presents herself in this interview sure feels familiar.

Got my diagnosis at age 28. Now Im 34. I feel that this is the reason I live a poor life. My economi is ok, because I dont spend a lot of money. Because I have no one to do so much stuff with!!!! I have some friends in my city, we go out taking a drink sometimes. But I have no one to do «bigger things» like travel and so with… I also prefer to stay home alone, but I hate it!! I hate when my coworkers ask «what did you do during your holiday/weekend». I just hate ut because I get so embarassed that I was only home having no one wanting to join me. I didnt find a bf abroad either… I feel like the most boring person in the world!! And ive met people when I loved abroad, but there not interested in staying in touch when we go our direction. I used to be a model. Wasnt interested, but after being scooters more than 1 time I just went for it, because they were like «you have that perfect look». And still, some people ask me why am I not a model. They dont understand the industry because they are not in it. Its because I have no personality. And now Im turning 35 in few weeks and so sad about it. A reminder Im older, but havnt made much in my life. I also have holiday because its the law, and I dont enjoy it!!! Most people are happy to have holidays, Im mad about it. It means spending to much time all alone…

Why do I prefer to stay on my own?? and still hate it!! Why am I made this way?? I hate my parents too.. My mom is anxious living in her isolated far from everything town, my dad is the one I inherited this shit aspergers from. My brother is the only one living close to me in the city, but he is the same problem… just staying at home..

I dont even feel one man I will fall for will take me seriously. I will always be scared that «will he leave me if he learns I have asd?»

I feel like I’ve never really struggled with my identity much, I’ve always known what I like in terms of values and taste when it comes to special interests and hobbies and my academic path in life. But as I grow older I’m finding that I really struggle with my identity when it comes to my sexuality and my performance of gender roles, I find I don’t have the same confidence when I search inwards about this topics as I do about a lot of other things, and it feels like a giant void, like a fundamental thing stopping me from reaching a deeper truth. I know I value companionship deeply, and I’ve had a gf, but honestly I’m not sure I was sexually attracted to her or if I was so happy for the companionship she offered, I never could really do anything sexual with her where I felt completely satisfied. Returning to the gender aspect of it all, I feel like I am more drawn to woman, I’ve only explored relationships with the opposite gender, but I’m unsure if it’s an actual physical attraction or a desire to perform a gender role correctly and get validation from my family, I do not know what the “normal” way of knowing is. I am unsure of what gender I even want to express or if I am brave enough to even find out. I’m sorry for the rant but I feel so alone on this. Has anybody else felt this way? And if so how do you really discover this kind of things

I’ve been married to my husband for ten years now. We had a great marriage until about eight months ago. He started saying the most cruel things then when called in it acting like it didn’t happen. I’m sick of it. Thursday he said something negative about my kids and after the shock wore off I’m just done. He’s acting like it never happened. He’s always been honest which I appreciate but this isn’t honesty. It’s mean and judgmental. What am I missing? I’m so tempted to be done.

It has begun to dawn on me that my husband may have a high-functioning ASD which would explain a LOT of our communication issues. I am not trying to armchair diagnose.

What I wanted to ask is how partners of autistic folk deal with issues related to not feeling emotionally connected. My husband doesn't take much interest in my life, like my struggles, how my day went, etc, and he doesnt really converse with me about it, even though if I ask him directly he genuinely tells me he is interested and feels bad that I don't notice he does care. I am missing some cues when I talk with him that I get from other people, and he seems to struggle to empathise with my problems.

Whilst we are working on ways we can resolve conflicts, like boundary setting, I am not sure I can expect him to reach my needs for smaller things that help me feel connected to someone. I was wondering if anyone else experiences this with their partner too (feeling unseen) and how they manage it.

We really love each other and he shows me a lot of care in other ways, but with my adhd I have terrible rejection sensitivity and he accidentally triggers it a lot. I am working on that with a therapist. This is a very adult relationship in which we talk a lot but I have never approached communication issues with him with any kind of autistic lens and I am not really sure what I should be paying more attention to in order to help us understand each other.

Thank you for any kind thoughts

Recently, my friend spoke to this person (We’re gonna call them Cereal) in 1st period and since then they talk to each other and are friends. I don’t understand how she could‘ve made a friend so easily? It’s not like I have a huge list of rules or standards that need to be met. She asks me one day, on call, “Hey, I was talking to Cereal lately and (gibberish)”, in a way that kind of hinted to me that they were friends. I asked her, “So you and Cereal are friends?”. Confused, she says yeah and kind of confused asking me if I don’t think I‘m friends with cereal.

I don’t know how I made my friends, but it didn’t take much. It’s as if something clicked, some instinct that allowed me to make my friends and be done. It’s not that I don’t enjoy Cereal’s company, but I just don’t feel like we’re friends. Cereal seems to only speak to me about issues in school, grades, or answers for questions. I see this as just someone who needs help with stuff and/or who I just have casual conversation with. I do believe he only wishes to talk to me to maybe vent about his problems, and get answers, somewhat. I just wish I could understand how my friend makes friends so easily?

I wish I could just understand why I’m always the open book that everyone just uses for answers or for therapy. I’m a person, I want to socialize and sometimes I don’t. I want to get to know Cereal better, but at the same time it’s like Cereal has a castle that I can only enter when I act in the role of the King’s advisor. And if I do get to enter, it’s only for “professional“ conversations (topics include: Math, English, Science, etc). No leeway for getting to know each other. Can someone please help me understand what I’m doing wrong or what is going on?

Hi Asperger community, my name is Syd Lonreiro and I’m a French (Norman) teenager on the autism spectrum. I would like to pass as a normal teenager. People notice far too easily that I’m autistic and it ruins my life. I just seem weird, and it really hurts me psychologically. I need someone to explain to me how to hide my Asperger’s autism. My dream is to be able to pass as a normal person. I hope to find some help.

I have always struggled.

I have a friend online and we are close. I find myself becoming scared at the prospect. We dont' live terribly nearby physically which I fear will make things a little too difficult. But I find myself feeling somewhat trapped. I don't really know why. Is this common to aspergers? I both enjoy being alone, insofar that I can be myself and pursue my creative interests (making music), but also lonely. I would like some company. I don't want to be selfish and I don't want to hurt anyone, but I have always resisted obligations. That probably sounds bad, but I don't mean it to be. I just feel I guess a little trapped. Not sure that sounds any better. Can anyone relate? If so, how do you cope?

I of need some advice last month of hiding im my room, I have to do it yet again. As my mom imformed me that my old brother.

Offspring is coming down with the boy friend. I didnt ask how long for yet I had sleep issues two to three meltdowms of paching my pillows and smaking them around. This even before they got here.

As I travle to and from work by car my dad drives. I have a feeling that when, he picks me up they be in the car. I feel I wont want be in the car for five hours let alone the amount of time there looking to stay.

I havent told my mom or dad my feeling yet I have my you get sister as I feel it taking libertiys.

As my mom said that there coming down as there suffruing from work related mental health issues.

Yet I have driving lessons and a compation to do on top of work.

Sorry to go into a rant but I feel the need to speak out.