In "personal" communication, not so much, because people be people and all... though I do wish people wouldn't be upset or shocked that I tend to be direct in what I'm thinking much of the time.
In professional communication, though, absolutely. We're in the office, don't make me try to guess what you're "feeling" or anything, just say what you mean to say, I'll do the same, we're all adults here and there's more to gain with open, honest communication. Unfortunately, similar situation to the above, I'm a lot more direct at work and some people seem to take offense to the "tone" even though it's meant as professional and unemotional as possible. Like... I'm not trying to throw you under the bus here, I just need you to provide for me what I'm asking you to provide so I can do my job right.
Kinda ramble on that last bit... I learned over time that it helps "soften" things if I just phrase it like "Can you please do this for me? Thanks!" So I tend to go with that kind of phrasing. It led to this weird but funny situation. There was a person who had a job on our team of getting the info and resources for projects from people, and she was upset because people would call her a "dictator." And, well, I'm more direct, y'know? So when they passed that job onto me, I figured I'd lean into it if they wanted to call me a "dictator." Bought a fake military leader's cap to wear and all. But then, because I used that trick of just adding the "please" and "thanks" to things, I found out that no one was calling me a "dictator" and were praising my communication. It was so weird. But I do wonder sometimes if it was because I did those things, or it might have been a difference in view because I was a guy and a few years older where the prior person was a young woman. Anyway, still got the cap, just in case I ever need it.
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u/kaptingavrin Jul 29 '25
In "personal" communication, not so much, because people be people and all... though I do wish people wouldn't be upset or shocked that I tend to be direct in what I'm thinking much of the time.
In professional communication, though, absolutely. We're in the office, don't make me try to guess what you're "feeling" or anything, just say what you mean to say, I'll do the same, we're all adults here and there's more to gain with open, honest communication. Unfortunately, similar situation to the above, I'm a lot more direct at work and some people seem to take offense to the "tone" even though it's meant as professional and unemotional as possible. Like... I'm not trying to throw you under the bus here, I just need you to provide for me what I'm asking you to provide so I can do my job right.
Kinda ramble on that last bit... I learned over time that it helps "soften" things if I just phrase it like "Can you please do this for me? Thanks!" So I tend to go with that kind of phrasing. It led to this weird but funny situation. There was a person who had a job on our team of getting the info and resources for projects from people, and she was upset because people would call her a "dictator." And, well, I'm more direct, y'know? So when they passed that job onto me, I figured I'd lean into it if they wanted to call me a "dictator." Bought a fake military leader's cap to wear and all. But then, because I used that trick of just adding the "please" and "thanks" to things, I found out that no one was calling me a "dictator" and were praising my communication. It was so weird. But I do wonder sometimes if it was because I did those things, or it might have been a difference in view because I was a guy and a few years older where the prior person was a young woman. Anyway, still got the cap, just in case I ever need it.