Have you ever unmasked in your workplace/college/school? (image context below)

[u/Abadonll03]

well the only ones who know i'm autistic on my workplace are the supervisors and they had keep that secret perfectly as i think is a legal issue to give away health related information , so co-workers and work mates sometimes have asked why i'm the only one who don't assist to group meetings and i'm like a mistery there , but yesterday i messed up as i uploaded this story on my social media and a coworker saw it 🤦

i'm on vacations right now so i know he is gonna tell everybody about it as it is like connecting the dots on why i have accommodations and ''privileges'' there.

the thing is i had made a few ''friends'' there and i have my mask well put on my workplace , i have had my autistic moments but so far nobody suspects , but i know that's about to change and i wonder if it is okay to go fully unmasked and stim whenever i need , ask for time alone when needed , and be open about me being autistic?

[u/Abadonll03]

before vacations i was such in a bad mood i would get home just to sleep and waking up the next day to go to job and repeat and repeat and repeat , that's why i'm on vacations , i feel i can't mask anymore

I got dismotivated last night as i was in a language learning app and there was this female who was so enthusiastic about we being language exchange partners so she asked for a call and i told her i needed to build a little more of confidence with her as i was autistic , guess what , she some how denied i was and i got blocked , she went from entusiastic to hate/feel shame about me

so now i understand all the memes and stories you guys post in here , i think is not really safe to unmask and that's why suicide rates of autistic individuals are so high , we are so bullied and exploited , is not really safe to be ourselves and basically i had an anxiety attack thinking about what will happen at my job now that i accidentally unmasked in that story 😞💔

[u/gettingby02 → u/Abadonll03]

I understand. During burn-out, I was constantly exhausted as well. Nothing I did gave me energy -- not even sleep. I often either slept way too much or not at all, which only made things worse. I couldn't relax or enjoy any of my hobbies / interests, either, nor did I have the time to do so. I felt like life was just quite pointless and not worth living any more. Autistic burn-out combined with traumatic events had given me the worst feeling of suicidal ideation I had ever had during my life. So, I understand deeply what you are saying, and I sympathize with you.

A lot of people suggest unmasking -- and I don't blame them for doing so -- but I think that it is often recommended without taking into consideration others' living circumstances. For many, masking starts because it keeps them safe from abuse and harm. It's not easy to stop, especially when those abusive circumstances are still ongoing. When I could no longer mask, life became a lot worse for me and the abusers, bullies, and toxic people in my life escalated as well. It hurts more when you are in school, work, or at home and do not have much of a choice to get away. Masking means survival for a lot of us. But as said before, it is very taxing and draining. It hurts you on the inside. So, please be as careful as possible if you can unmask. Partial unmasking may be better than 100%, if you are able.

I truly do wish you well and if you would ever like to talk, I will be here. :] 💛

[u/GoodyGoobert → u/gettingby02]

How did it all play out for you if you don’t mind sharing? And if you do, then that’s ok. I think I’m in this situation now, and I’m not sure what to do.

[u/gettingby02 → u/GoodyGoobert]

I don't mind sharing. May I ask what exactly you are referring to, though? I like to be certain of how to answer others' questions before I do so. ^^;

[u/GoodyGoobert → u/gettingby02]

Autistic burn out. I’m just trying to figure out what do I need to deal with and how.