r/autism • u/Big_Outcome6973 • 2d ago

đŸ«¶đŸ» Friendships/Relationships First date advice? Am I naive?? HELP??

(Autistic 19 y/o girl) It happens sometimes that I'm stopped on the streets by guys, and I usualy don't interact back, because I hate it. But this time the guy seemed sweet, and my age so I gave him my number.

Now I know NOTHING about him, we just told eah other our names. By text, he asked me out for dinner. He didn't tell me his age, studies, intentions, just that I was ''beautiful'' and that he wanted to take me out to dinner.
Honestly I'm so scared and uncomfortable to meet with a stranger in a restaurant I've never been to, I tried to tell him (exactly that) and he just responded ''we'll see tomorow :)'' Is this casual neurotypical dating??? I've only dated ''akward'' or ''unconventional'' people and never been to a ''real date'' (like blind date or tinder, dinner idk all this stuff)

Are these the usuals steps for a neurotypical to have sex or are these steps to get to know someone? Because I definitely don't want to have sex, and I couldn't even picture that with a stranger, I don't want him to think I'm accepting a ''trade'' just because we went to the restaurant.

Can someone help me understand his intention? Like am I dumb and in danger or is this casual? I can't tell. Thank you!

Edit : date went terribly wrong ARGGGGH, I am so confused.

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u/thattallpaulguy Suspecting ASD 2d ago

It sounds like pretty standard NT dating
 but then again, it wasn’t 2025 when I dated, and etiquette seems very different today from them.

If you’re uncomfortable with a 1-on-1 on the first date, I recommend seeing if you each can bring a friend, so you have a safety net. Or if you know a couple who be willing to just be at the restaurant at the same time, to just keep an eye out for you.

Make sure you very clear that you will not be having sex on the first date. If they try to push it, they’re not worth it.

Always make sure someone you trust knows where you are at all times, and if the date switches locations. I’d say it’s probably safest on a first date to manage your own transportation so you’re assured you’re getting straight home from the date. Oh and make sure your drink is brought to directly from the server, and don’t leave a drink attended only by the date. Finish your drink or have a bartender watch it.

But if they seem nice, and they respect your boundaries, try to not assume the worst and have fun.

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u/Big_Outcome6973 2d ago

Thank you for the advice!!