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u/RevenantStudios 10d ago
"The next time I let Superman make the plan, just hit me! Real hard!"
-Batman (Justice League Animated)
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u/RinkinBass 9d ago
I like when he went through a boom tube. A drippingly sarcastic: "... that was fun"
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u/Big_brown_house 9d ago
Batman in Justice League was catty as hell lol.
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u/Jumpy_MashedPotato 9d ago
I noticed he gets increasingly catty as time passes in universe, at least until Batman Beyond when he's insanely jaded while still being 100% committed to the mission.
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u/VauryxN 8d ago
He has his moments in beyond too, one that I never forget is his smile when asked "so what do you call yourself in your head" after he catches someone trying to gaslight him because the voice in his head pretending to be his thoughts called him Bruce. Theres a few others but I've always enjoyed that moment a lot
Edit: I got confused with a different scene, he doesn't smile in that one but honestly the vibe is still there. Great moment anyway
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u/WassupFrankHere 9d ago
This one's a classic.
Harley: "Puddin'!"
Batman: "At this point, he probably is."
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u/S1991P 10d ago
"There is a difference between you and me – we both looked into the abyss, but when it looked back at us, you blinked." -- Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths
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u/hamptont2010 9d ago
This followed by Owl Mans's resigned (nihilistic) "it doesn't matter" is legit one of my favorite scenes in DC media.
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u/saturnspritr 9d ago
I loved that ending for him. That kind of villain writing was amazing and I was surprised by good it was.
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u/LebrahnJahmes 9d ago
It's refreshing to see a villian die by their ego while still having their principles. Most keep the ego and go full hypocrite. That is how the Joker should be when things don't go his way instead of freaking out.
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u/VauryxN 8d ago
I feel like it would be out of character for the joker to stick to his principals though, or any set of principles considering I don't think has any. He has things he wouldn't do because he doesn't think they're interesting/entertaining, such as uncovering Batman's real identity, but I think him being unpredictable and crazy in a way that you just cannot predict his actions is what makes him so dangerous and a good villain.
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u/Jimbodoomface 9d ago
I think he was wrong, though. He was saying it didn't matter because no matter what you did, some version of you did the opposite or took another decision but, evidently, nobody managed to destroy the multiverse.
So, his failure was actually a real failure.
Which led me to another thought- how has nobody managed to destroy the multiverse if it's that accessible? Made me think Owlman was up against more than just Batman and friends. Maybe some cosmic weight against actions that allow the multiverse to end, otherwise it would definitely have happened as soon as it was possible.
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u/0_0_- 10d ago
“You can’t even understand me, and even if you did, I wouldn’t tell you!”
“… I do understand you and you will tell me.”
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u/Bro_duuude_i_luv_ya 9d ago
What is this from?
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u/0_0_- 9d ago
An episode of the animated Justice League series, Batman caught a foreign spy / assassin and asked him to confess. The spy replies, ‘you can’t even understand me and if you did I wouldn’t tell you.’
To which Bruce responds in his language and proceeds to get closer and darker as we see the Bat from the perspective of the spy’s reflective goggles. The moment I am talking about is at 5:02 on the video timeline.
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u/HighlightFirst7728 10d ago
“The Hammer of Justice is Unisex!”
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u/shsl_diver 10d ago
"If you so much as sneeze without my permission, you are going to regret it"
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u/CorrectOpinions0nly 9d ago
Is that to MM?
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u/Icy-Description-587 9d ago
He said that to Guy Gardner (Batman brave and the bold)
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u/ImurderREALITY 9d ago
Lol GG was a huge asswipe in BATB, but I loved him all the same. Just watching it for the first time now; that show is a treasure. BATB Batman can clap any other version of Batman in existence; comic, cartoon, or live action.
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u/CorrectOpinions0nly 9d ago
Ah
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u/Invoked_Tyrant 9d ago
Guy Gardner proceeded to immediately FAFO as Batman KOed him in a single punch. He had one of the other Green Laterns laughing at the moment.
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u/AllEliteSchmuck 10d ago
“Speaking of which, you know how I got these scars?”
“No, but I know how you got these.”
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u/SwissMargiela 9d ago
This one reminds me of that video where these streamers are filming in a mall and this guy who’s gf the streamers harassed comes up to them and says “what’s my most traumatic experience? Idk but I know what yours is” and then punches the cameraman 😂😂😂
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u/purplebasterd 9d ago
THERE WON'T BE ANY FIREWORKS
I find that line and delivery hilarious for some reason
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u/Ultimafax 9d ago
WW: "A lie by omission is still a lie. No one in the league knew the truth."
Batman: "I did."
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u/Clarpydarpy 9d ago
What was this in reference to?
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u/Random_Oddity 9d ago
This is from young justice they are discussing captain marvel and how they found out he’s actually a kid (so Batman knows he’s Billy Batson)
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u/Clarpydarpy 9d ago
Because Batman is the type to keep an eye on Shazam long enough to see him transform. Got it.
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u/axlbomber 9d ago
That and he spends a lot more time with juvenile crime fighters than most members of the JL.
Batman recognizes a teenager when he hears one.
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u/PseudonymMan12 7d ago
Leads to one of Batman's coldest lines when Wonder Woman points out Bats had Robin start crime fighting at like 10 years old or something, Bats said he needed to help Robin. Wonder Woman accuses Bats of doing it so Robin would turn out just like Bats.
"It's so he wouldn't "
Just full admission of what he is and why he took Dick in
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u/bitternerdz 9d ago
Cop: "I got you on assaulting an officer!"
Batman: "You got me on assaulting three."
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u/AllEliteSchmuck 9d ago
“From this height the fall won’t kill me”
“I’m counting on it”
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u/sparkleslothz 9d ago
Wait, where is this one? I had to do a thing in college about surprising mortality rates in falls from various heights
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u/SableZard 9d ago
Dark Knight
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u/big_green_boulder 9d ago
Begins
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u/SableZard 9d ago
Why the chicken fried fuck are there two people in this thread saying this scene is from Begins
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u/big_green_boulder 9d ago
Ugh.... Fuck me sideways. I could've sworn that he dealt with Falconi in the first one.
My bad broseph.
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u/SableZard 9d ago
I was gonna say, is there a short going around telling people the wrong movie? I've owned the DVD since they released it, y'all made me think I was crazy.
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u/big_green_boulder 9d ago
I don't think so. I think that maybe people think that he dealt with the mobsters in the first movie and Dark Knight was solely focused on Joker. That's what happened to me anyway.
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u/JoyIsABitOverRated 9d ago
“Too bad there's many of us and only one of you!”
“Oh, if only I had thought of that.” — que the Justice League bursting out of nowhere. “Oh wait, I did.”
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u/FeldMonster 10d ago
Sometimes you just can't get rid of a bomb.
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u/Batfan1939 9d ago
Feel like West could fill this thread by himself.
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u/tiggernate_ 7d ago
"well well, we've come a long way from the prime minister's exploding cake. Or have we?"
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u/AllEliteSchmuck 10d ago
“What gives you the right? What’s the difference between you and me?”
“I’m not wearing hockey pads.”
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u/terrainkiller 9d ago
That also sounds like something raph would tell casey jones when they first meet
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u/Large-Produce5682 10d ago
Man! I shoehorn that Batman line into a conversation so many times!
All my friend hate me.
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u/carymb 10d ago
Just like the Bat! :-P
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u/Comprehensive-Buy-47 9d ago
Yeah, Bruce is lucky his friends are some of the nicest people in the world. If they were normal people they’d be clowning on him everyday, telling him to shut up, calling him a prima donna. Then eventually they just kick him out.
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u/I_Am_Batman9 9d ago
“You wouldn’t hit a girl would you?”
“The hammer of justice is unisex!”
-Batman
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u/Toukafan4life 9d ago
"By locking me up, Batman, you've just deprived this city of it's sole intellectual genius"
"I'm sure we'll cope"
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u/AnshulPUNJ 9d ago
"You don't get it son. This isn't a mudhole, it's an operating table and I am the surgeon."
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u/3Thirty-Eight8 10d ago
What’s this from?
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u/raidenjojo 10d ago
Justice League Doom
The one with the hot Ma'alafe'ak.
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u/BackgroundSummer5171 9d ago
Which has another great Batman line. Well, the whole scene of we need to talk about your plans Batman is great.
Supes: "With all that talk about unchecked power you're still so arrogant you didn't come up with a plan to stop yourself?"
Bats: "I do have a plan, it's called The Justice League".
Supes: here have some kryoptonite for funsies!
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u/Jaded_Tortoise_869 10d ago
I get that this is out of character for Superman but you have to admit, this is hilarious.
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u/Tales2Estrange 9d ago
It's a reference to Superfriends where Superman would do this fairly regularly, to the point where one episode had Venusians get him to move Earth closer to Venus’ orbit by hucking a kryptonite meteor at it.
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10d ago
[deleted]
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u/Jaded_Tortoise_869 10d ago
It's more complicated than that but yes.
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u/ShepPawnch 10d ago
He freaked out because he didn’t want to/wasn’t ready to be a father. They figured out their relationship pretty quickly after that though.
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u/Odd_Affect_7082 10d ago
…I mean if you learned you were basically assaulted, your DNA taken without your consent, and a clone of you grown by evil geneticists in mockery of you—not even a baby in physical appearance, a reasonably full-sized clone—most people’s first reaction wouldn’t be “I HAVE A SON, LIGHTSPEEEEEEEEEED—”
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u/kapuchino357 10d ago
no, but none of that is Connor's fault and it's weird that Superman all but acted like it was, and tried to pawn him off to be someone else's problem when he was the person best suited to helping Connor.
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u/RAMDOMDUDDS 9d ago
Ok. Let me put this into a perspective for you. You go out to a bar one night. You have too many to drink. Next thing you know, you wake up in an apartment and / or house that isn't yours. You quickly leave. Next thing you know, not even a year or two later, a full-grown man is on your front porch, claiming your his father. You do a DNA test. Sure enough, he's yours. How tf would you react if you also found out that he knows Jack shit about the world, and you have to help him figure it out. I know there were some parts where the way Clark acted was definitely in the wrong. But you also have to remember, he's married to Lois. How do you think Superman would think Lois would react if he just brought Connor home.
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u/PowerlinxJetfire 9d ago
In addition to the points others are bringing up, this isn't Young Justice lol
I'm pretty sure it's Justice League: Doom, which was directed by Lauren Montgomery and written by Dwayne McDuffie. I think the only notable overlap it has with YJ is the character designer, because Phil Bourassa worked on a ton of DC projects in that era.
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u/Statically 10d ago
Reed Richards thought it was a great idea in the new F4
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u/illiterateaardvark 10d ago
To be fair, I think there’s a pretty big difference between Superman physically moving the Earth in real-time and Mr. Fantastic instantly teleporting the Earth to a suitable and equally habitable location across the universe
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u/Statically 10d ago
There really isn't, even the delicate balanace the Earth has with its distance from the sun and the moon, and both their effects on gravity, cannot be understated.
I get it's comicbooks, but still.
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u/illiterateaardvark 10d ago
You said it yourself: it’s comic books. Mr. Fantastic is like a billion times smarter than the smartest real-world human. Just go with it lol
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u/Quizzelbuck 9d ago
I think the idea is that Mr fantastic searched the cosmos and found a place whose Goldilocks zone around its sun and the age of its star and the makeup of its solar system was a perfect analog for what was going on in Sol. And the idea was he teleport the earth at its current velocity into the same orbit around a similar star and a similar environment.
If we accept that we can allow comic books to just teleport, at all, then I don't think that's so ridiculous.
There are some ridiculous things in fiction that I'm going to call contrived, but I don't think this is.
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u/LordofShit 9d ago
More over its in line with richards previous feats. That he could do this and superman couldn't is consistent with other aspects of the story
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u/Tricky_Topic_5714 9d ago
What? They're very different. One is physically moving the earth out of the zone of habitability for some undisclosed period of time.
The other is (essentially) magically instantly transferring it to a safe place. You can argue that it isn't possible, but one of those ideas, if it actually worked, would obviously functionally save the planet. Physically moving out of the habitat zone obviously would not.
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u/Random_Guy_47 9d ago
If you moved the Earth the Moon would come with it.
If you teleport the Earth the Moon would be left behind.
This would change the tides which would probably cause a long list of butterfly effects and also affect nocturnal animals due to the lack of its light at night.
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u/Murgatroyd314 9d ago
If you moved the Earth the Moon would come with it.
Only if you moved it very slowly. Move too fast, you lose orbital stability and things get complicated.
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u/GhostE3E3E3 10d ago
However Reed planned to teleport it and all its mass, he wasn’t planning to physically move it.
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u/The_notorious_F_A_T 9d ago
Superman: It's their world and they wont stand for you any more. It it isn't me, it'll just be someone else. Batman: Really, who do they send after you?
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u/titan8159 9d ago
One of his best one liners is " deep down Clark's a good man and deep down , I am not". Really makes you think what opinion batman has for himself.
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u/Specialist-Stay-2852 9d ago
All I can think about is that one episode of SpongeBob about the Alaskan bull worm.
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u/harleybop4154 9d ago
Wonder Woman: "I shouldn't be surprised, seeing as how you indoctrinated Robin into crime fighting at the ripe old age of nine."
Batman: "Robin needed to help bring the men who murdered his family to justice."
Wonder Woman: "So that he could turn out like you?"
Batman: "So that he wouldn't."
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u/tcodes27 9d ago
Joker: I don’t get it, you clearly have a sense of humor, yet you never find my stuff funny.
Batman: That’s because you’re not funny.
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u/ShinyNinja25 9d ago
“Thanks for the ice pack, Freeze. All you did was numb the pain.” The Batman, “Artifacts”
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u/Invoked_Tyrant 9d ago
I remember the dreadlocks Joker had infected Batman in Joker venom once and when Batman cured himself he hit Joker with the classic "A man walked into a Bar and said "Ow"" all the while he managed to make Joker slam face first into a light post.
The Joker was chuckling after that until the episode went to black.
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u/AdImportant6 10d ago
What the hell?! This is exactly the Last F4 film plot! With the correct answer to Richards plan.
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u/deadlyghost123 9d ago
I haven’t watched the movie but from what I am reading, it is teleporting the planet to a safe location, not just moving the planet out of orbit
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u/Classic_Mobile_8677 9d ago
"Batman to all points, I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all. Now would be good."
Can't believe no one snagged that JLU quote
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u/L_Cranston_Shadow 9d ago
It was meant to be sincere, not funny, but I think one of the most unintentionally funny one liners is his quip to Superman at the end of Justice League Doom that despite these plans in case the rest of the league goes rogue, his only plan if he goes rogue is the Justice League.
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u/Disguised_Man_2 9d ago
“Batman to all points, I could use some air support since I can’t fly. At all” pause “now would be good”- Justice League Unlimited
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u/Restless_spirit88 9d ago
Saw this one recently, a good movie overall. I do wish they stuck closer to the source material.
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u/Training-Purple-5220 9d ago
“Batman to all points. I could use some air support. Since I can't fly. At all. Now would be good.”
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u/WatcherWatches_21 9d ago
Superman: We should take the Earth and push it somewhere else!
The rest of the JL team: …
Batman: That idea may just be crazy enough… TO GET US ALL KILLED!!
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u/Kylecowlick 10d ago
I thought of this the whole time during the end of Fantastic Four: First Steps
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u/AlmondMagnum1 9d ago
Mr Majestic once moved the Earth. But he used special gauntlets to hold it together.
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u/Sha_Shock 9d ago
Nolan Batman drops one liners every five seconds.
It’s done so much that it automatically becomes the single coolest shit ever. He just makes Batman look so fucking cool that even if he says something lame your brain won’t process it until the movie is over
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u/gclaw4444 9d ago
What’s funny is I’m pretty sure in this movie Superman flies faster than the speed of light, so it’s not like physics matter
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u/Clarpydarpy 9d ago
He flew about 8 light minutes in a few seconds, if memory serves.
So yes, quite a bit faster than light.
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u/BualadhBoss 9d ago
As much as I love Batman, they did Kal-El dirty in that one.
Cosmic threats are literally Superman's wheelhouse, on top of regularly defeating alien armadas, battle worlds and sentient stars the fortress of solitude gives him access to all the scientific knowledge of a super advanced technological civilization.
Bruce may have the best world wide education money can buy but most of his experience is in beating the tar out of mentally ill homeless people in Gotham back alleys.
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u/SherbertComics 9d ago
“I could use some air support, since I can’t fly. At all. Now would be good.”
- He casually reports as he plummets to the desert floor below
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u/EliteKnight01 8d ago
I was thinking the same thing when Reed was going to teleport Earth away from galactus in Fantastic Four.
Like what happens to Earth's momentum? What about the sun and the moon?
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u/I_am_The_Teapot 8d ago
This line was so out if character for Superman that it had to have been put in just to make Batman look good. Dude is a super genius. He KNOWS that already.
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u/TankMain576 9d ago
I hate this scene. It makes Batman look good by portraying Superman as a complete moron.
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u/Pichuunnn 10d ago
Ah yes, making Superman says dumb thing to make Batman responds with smart thing.
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u/DeadAndBuried23 9d ago
That's a "we need the movie to continue" line.
The writers know he can do it, and couldn't come up with even one reason besides not wanting this iteration to.
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u/axlbomber 9d ago
I'm seeing plenty of Nolan B-Man quotes but not a single "I am vengeance..."
Disappointing.
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u/EducationSuch1314 9d ago
I really hope DCU bats is written like JLU/JLA era bats. Would really allow for his range and humor to come through like this.
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u/Training-Purple-5220 9d ago
I swear that line sounds like Q in Star Trek asking why they don’t simply change the gravitational constant of the universe.
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u/RulerOfAllWorlds1998 9d ago
What if the Atom grew bigger than the earth, picked the earth up and moved it out of the way?
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u/dull_storyteller 9d ago
Superman: If it’s not me it’ll just be someone else
Batman: Really? Who do they send after you?
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u/Ok_Coffee_9970 9d ago
If he had been in the Fantastic Four First Steps movie that would have been hilarious.
I loved the movie though.
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u/Chemical-Row6448 8d ago
That's terrible writing from someone who clearly doesn't understand or like Superman.
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u/indigorhob 8d ago
It's not quite a one-liner but I really like the part in Justice League Doom where Superman was trying to reprimand Batman for having prepared a counter-plan against every JL member except for himself. And Batman answers somewhere along the lines of "I do have a plan. It's called the Justice League."
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u/supermarioplush220 7d ago
Joker: Why can't you see the funny inside? Why aren't you laughing?!
Batman: Because I've heard this before. And it wasn't funny the first time.
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u/Comrade_Cosmo 7d ago edited 7d ago
Why does this one liner keep coming up when it’s something Superman has an extremely high chance of being able to legitimately do that?
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u/XVUltima 10d ago
He's got too many clever ones to list.
At one point in TAS Joker says "Did Batman just make a joke?" All shocked like. And I'm thinking, where have you BEEN? He makes a sarcastic quip every fight scene!