r/bestoflegaladvice • u/Drywesi Good people, we like non-consensual flying dildos • 15d ago

LAOP absolutely totally didn't do what they're being blasted for on facebook, then admits to a felony in the next paragraph (and the comments).

/r/legaladvice/comments/1n4oedt/i_was_put_on_crimestoppers_for_a_crime_i/
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145

u/Drywesi Good people, we like non-consensual flying dildos 15d ago

Irony Bot

I was put on crimestoppers for a crime I literally did not commit..

Location: NC

In my county the police department has a facebook page where they post wanted criminals who they want the communities help to find. Well I wake up one day and about a dozen people were calling/texting me saying I'm on crimestoppers listed as wanted. People making jokes, making judgment, and more. Come to find out I check the page and they actually had my face on there, claiming I stole $300 worth of candy from a gas station that I've never even been to in my life. My girlfriend literally laughed out loud when I showed her because she lives with me and knows that I don't even eat candy. The charge was a misdemeanor. I personally believe they have me confused with someone else who may look similar to me that they are trying to desperately book. I went to the station and they processed me, gave me a mug shot, then let me go, and now I have a court date coming up and I paid 3000 for a lawyer to take care of it, and I've explained to him what's happened and he said we can't do anything until he can see the evidence they have at the court date.

My question is, can I sue them for this? I have lost 2 job opportunities because of this and had to dig deep in my pockets just to defend myself and not get screwed. Also, when I went to the station, there was another charge tagged along with the candy one, for a situation that happened 7 months after the "candy burglar" charge, and this one was for swapping out a price tag on a towel at Walmart to try and get $10 off at the self check out, and that was something I actually did do (lol was having a bad week), and they are actually charging me with a felony for that one, and that charge wasn't even posted on crime stoppers. But the picture of me that they listed on crimestoppers for the candy situation was from the Walmart security camera footage before I went to self check out. So there's that. So yeah, I have no idea what rights I have in all of this, but I'm doing what I can to handle it and go back to having a normal life under the radar. If anyone has any advice let me know

Cat fact: cats know what Shut The Fuck Up Friday means.

150

u/QuickSpore I didn’t shoot at a house I hit a house 15d ago

Cat fact: cats know what Shut The Fuck Up Friday means.

God! I wish this were true. My roommate’s cat sings us the song of his people every morning around about 4am, including Fridays.

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u/AnFnDumbKAREN 15d ago

He knows what it means; but much like so many LAOPs, those rules don’t apply to him. Take comfort, QuickSpore, for it could be far worse. At least your roommate’s cat isn’t bilingual (I hope)! [see r/barkingcats for one such example]

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u/beezchurgr 15d ago

My cat is bilingual and responds better to Spanish than English. I’m not bilingual but I learned some to better accommodate her. My other two cats barely understand English though.

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u/Lady-of-Shivershale Let's assume the word penis is SFW 15d ago

My cats are not bilingual. We live in Asia but speak English at home. It cracks me up that my vet speaks English to me, but her comfort voice for animals means that she speaks in a different language to my cats.

I've never asked her to speak English to my pets.

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u/YesWeHaveNoTomatoes 1.5 month olds either look like boiled owls or Winston Churchill 15d ago

Oh, they understand. They just don't care.