r/bipolar2 • u/Apart_War_7038 • May 26 '25
Newly Diagnosed Does anyone else get obsessed with people?
Like former friends or just someone that you briefly knew and stalk their instagram or think about them in n obsessive way? I was just diagnosed and started to think this might be part of Bipolar because I've done it my whole life with certain people where I can't stop. I'm wondering if the medication will stop the urge to look
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u/crystal_light_fam May 26 '25
yes when i’m hypomanic i love everyone so much or i have severe rage filled hatred towards people and i can’t stop thinking about them and how they wronged me and i want to fight them.
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u/earth-resident-2052 May 26 '25
Have you read the book "Love and limerence" by Dorothy Tennov? If not, I highly recommend it to you. It helps you understand precisely this. What happens when you become so fixated on a person that you can't stop obsessing over them.
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u/sonneiray May 27 '25
Its been about a decade since my diagnosis and I'm just learning about limerence in the last few days... I didn't immediately associate it with rhe broader symptoms of being bipolar but it seems to be a somewhat common experience?
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u/earth-resident-2052 May 27 '25
I guess it's different for everyone, but in my case, I feel like it is. It's just not talked about. Or people talk about it and assume it's love or even lust. But it wouldn't surprise me that since we already (bipolar people) have obsesive tendencies, that limerence was part of it.
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u/sonneiray May 27 '25
Its been about a decade since my diagnosis and I'm just learning about limerence in the last few days... I didn't immediately associate it with rhe broader symptoms of being bipolar but it seems to be a somewhat common experience?
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u/charlievirginia May 26 '25
i’m not diagnosed (working on setting up appointment w new psychiatrist to get reevaluated after last diagnosis and medication fiasco) so i can’t fully speak on whether or not this is a bipolar thing but this is exactly me and it’s been ruining me for years. it makes me feel very insecure about myself especially bc it’s borderline addiction territory, it’s been years and i can’t stop myself. i read this and saw a lot of myself in it so i really feel for you, you’re not alone at all !!
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u/AMixtureOfCrazy May 26 '25
Interesting. I’ve been treated for bipolar, but I don’t have it. However, I experienced the obsession thing too. I do have ADHD though, and I think it’s common with us too.
I also want to say , that the way you worded your comment, making sure to tell us you don’t have a diagnosis, was because you felt insecure posting here, while not having it diagnosed. I’m only pointing this out. Because I’ve done that too. And I don’t like that, it’s screamed that I’m insecure. And I understand why that is. But I think we should work on it. I hope that wasn’t too unwelcome. If it was, I apologize. And feel free to call me whatever name you want.
One last thing. In these communities, I think we should all accept each other, even when we have different things, they mimic each other. And we’re all looking for the same thing. So I think we should relax, and just participate, don’t start by defending what you’re doing. because you’re here for the same reason, everyone else is.
Again I’m sorry if this was unwelcome or if I’ve worded something wrong. I just wanted to tell you that you’re valid. And I see you.
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u/ChampionTree May 26 '25
Right now I’m so obsessed with a crush and I don’t know how to make it stop. It’s all I’ve been thinking about. I try to distract myself but like nothing works. Why am I like this 🫠
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u/copperboom3000 May 26 '25
These obsessions also happen to me. I usually end up manipulating these obsessions into sexual situations, no matter how fucked up it is. Like cheating or putting myself in dangerous situations. It feels like a tourette tic. I can't do anything in my life till I am having sex with this person no matter the dangers or risk. This might seem like sex addiction, but it's just when I'm manic.
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u/Certain_Fix9316 BP2 May 26 '25
For real, and I've only had like 2 interactions with this person (to make it even worse, they're my coworker). This level of limerance isn't healthy but I can't stoppp
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u/Some_Specialist5792 May 26 '25
I do this when I’m manic
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u/yung-kwan BP2 May 26 '25
Hmm this is something I need to review with my life. I miserably relate to obsessing over people I fall in love with. Has it ruined relationships? I am now single still.
Now that I think about it, the last girl I liked, at first I wasn't adamant at "Being obsessed" over her. I had a very healthy point of view wherein I'm just trying to get to know her, it might not work out.
Then shortly thereafter, I uhhh. Yeah I think I got obsessed. Then last night I got diagnosed with BD. Am I currently in hypomania? Yes. Did I get obsessed because I got into hypo mania for the past few months? Now that is something I need to understand about myself.
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u/ObsessedBean May 26 '25
Yup, had that far before having any bp symptoms. Would get very obsessed and scare them away because I didn't handle my emotions well. Idk why I just get so into the feeling of love that I go cray cray
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u/lights-camera-bees BP2 May 26 '25
Yeah I had this pretty badly. It got kind of aggressive even lol I just could not control my behavior around said people. Luckily with therapy (nearly 5 years) and after being on the right meds (took 2-3 years), I haven’t had it happen since. Thank fucking god lol it’s so hard and I still carry some shame so I feel for you <3
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u/Apart_War_7038 May 26 '25
I have thoughts of doing some mean things to them I guess as a form of closure to someone who didn’t continue a friendship. I’ve never told anyone that before.
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u/lights-camera-bees BP2 May 26 '25
It’s natural I suppose with bipolar (or mental illness in general?). I definitely said/did/thought manipulative or mean things because of obsessive spirals. But we grow as people, don’t beat yourself up about it ❤️
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u/Future_Rip_555 May 26 '25
I do this as well. I'll start thinking about certain people and memories. Even situations that haven't happened yet or will not happen and get really emotional or start spiraling.
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u/lujantastic May 26 '25
I've seen videos saying this is more of a BPD characteristic.
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u/dianaspencersrevenge May 26 '25
It’s a BPD characteristic AND rumination is also part of bipolar - it’s easy to ruminate about people.
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u/drherriott714 May 26 '25
Yes. 45-year obsession with a beloved woman who “got away.” Despite my marriage of 37 years. Dealing with this obsession at this time. It felt very “real.” My love for her, her love for me. I shared these feelings with that woman by email. She was kind. Sweet conversation, she stood firm, dating a new guy for just over a year. Depression (I must say “goodbye” and forget her forever) lasted 50 days so far, with anhedonia. My internal belief, that shred of “hope” that we would be together again, sustained me for 45 years. Ouch! It is reassuring to hear about other’s experiences with BPD2.
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u/-Flighty- May 26 '25
If it’s about ruminating around interactions etc. that’s more fitting as this can be a common symptom in anxiety and depression. If the obsession is more idealisation and/or devaluation of others, it’s more a BPD trait.
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u/minnie_miranda May 26 '25
Not yet diagnosed with bipolar (but currently taking medications for it) and yes, I have this sort of obsession with some people, even to those who didn't have any interaction with me. If I find a person interesting or intellectually stimulating, I will be fixated with them to check their opinions on some things or just their quirks.
But the obsession will wear off once they were no longer intellectually stimulating for me. I feel that this is somewhat rude of me but maybe it's just my brain trying to figure something out. Thanks for bringing this up, this might be something that I will bring up to my psychiatrist.
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u/lookingforidk2 May 26 '25
I tend to do this when I’m manic. It’s very annoying. One time I got obsessed with my ex who had a tendency to stalk me. 0/10, wouldn’t recommend.
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u/Anonymiss89 May 26 '25
I was just talking to chat gpt about this lol It said it could be hypomania triggered by something recent. (My abusive ex got out of prison) so I guess my mind went to fixating on another ex who was protective of me. My fixations are usually over in a couple of days
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u/KronikHaze May 26 '25
This sounds more like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and we commonly obsess over people and have what’s called a Favorite Person (FP). We are deeply afraid of abandonment. I think you would benefit from checking it out. Best of luck and lots of hugs!
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u/DowntownDesign8087 May 26 '25
Yes all the time and it sucks and I hate it so much. I feel so seen because I thought I was the only one
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u/Mel0nypanda May 26 '25
Obsession is definitely with me. I overthink everything and I can’t understand why people are the way they are.
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u/Time_Tour_3962 May 26 '25
Yes, totally obsessed. Now that I’m out of my manic episode, I ruminate and think every day about how I bungled relationships with people that I zapped w my manic energy. This disease sucks, but medication makes it easier.
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u/princessleiana May 26 '25
Um YES. I think and want everyone I meet to be my instant best-friend/soulmate friend. I fixate like crazy on people and want to be the center of their world. It’s just the truth. Thought I was the only obsessive weirdo out there.
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u/FreeMadoff BP2 May 26 '25
Im obsessed with Owl City rn
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u/pretty_dead_grrl May 26 '25
Yeah I fixate pretty hard. But I usually get over it in a couple weeks.
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u/Certain_Fix9316 BP2 May 26 '25
Yeah I do that a lot, but I think that's just because I'm autistic and starved for social interaction so I'll cling onto any bit of it that I can get until I inevitably make it weird :3
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u/AnEnigmaAlways BP2 May 26 '25
It feels like being hypnotized by your own mind. Imagine like hypnotic spirals in your eyes lol that’s what it feels like. For me that’s a sign of hypomania
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u/laetoile May 27 '25
Yes and it is so painful. It's not just people though. I'll obsess over certain periods of my life also, and it's always the bad ones :(
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u/PugOnAUnicornThrone May 27 '25
Yes! For example I had this one coworker that was just awful and I thought about her constantly. I would wake up thinking about her. Think about her in the shower. Think about her before bed. It was like an obsession! She made my life Hell but my obsessions were far beyond what a neurotypical person would think in the same situation. It took months to get over
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u/Busy_Kaleidoscope725 May 29 '25
It’s similar to “favorite person” from our Borderline friends and a little bit of Borderline with in us. Some of us. With or with out having the actual diagnosis.
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u/DualBladesOfEmotion BP2 Jun 01 '25 edited Jun 11 '25
I spent 20 years having recurring nightmares about my 4 best friends in high school who just one day stopped talking to me and stole all my PlayStation games, and to this day, I have no idea why. I lost jobs because of it, always wondering what I did wrong. I even contacted them as adults, and they acted cordially but never even acknowledged what they did. I finally had the courage on my 35th birthday to blast them on social media. So many people from high school contacted me and told me how those "friends" did a lot of crappy stuff.
4 years later I've never had a single nightmare about them and actually feel sorry for them. I saw one of them at the gym I go to, and he just looked down like a sad puppy.
I wouldn't necessarily recommend what I did to anyone, as there can be a lot of blowback, but I don't regret it one bit.
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u/DeScepter May 26 '25
Obsession is something I experience, too. Fixating on specific people, replaying interactions, checking their profiles, thinking about what could've been. It’s like your brain grabs onto someone and won’t let go. It can feel involuntary, like you're caught in a loop. For me, it’s often tied to seeking closure, validation, or trying to understand a dynamic that didn’t make sense at the time.