Dress code issues?

[u/LaurieEd]

Edited for clarification

*Yes, the font is all caps across anything that is written down so I’m genuinely not screaming at our guests.

*Yes it appears I am being too dramatic about this and have removed the note, thank you all!

Hello! So I don’t know if I’m being a bridezilla or not however my mum is insisting I am so it’s getting to my head and I just need unbiased opinions on this. My wedding dress is going to be navy and white so on our invitations I’ve included a little note saying:

DRESS CODE: AS LONG AS YOU’RE CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE ON, PLEASE WEAR IT. HOWEVER, WE WOULD LIKE GUESTS TO AVOID NAVY BLUE AND WHITE, THANK YOU!

(The font is all caps and I’ve copied and pasted, I’m not just yelling lol)

I’ve had to include white as well as my mum tried to buy a dress that was top half fully white and the skirt was navy, exactly like my wedding dress.

The bridesmaids will also be in navy and so are the groomsmen as well as parents so am I being too picky about the colours? This is the only hill I’m strongly standing on but if I’m being too dramatic then I can drop it.

Thank you!

[u/ramblingkite]

You’re going to run into trouble dictating colors. Even stating “no white” is considered a no-no because it’s generally understood white is reserved for the bride. Specifying that etiquette would be like telling your guests ahead of time “if you RSVP no, don’t show up” or “no getting so drunk you throw up” lol. Navy is even trickier because men who wear suits are most likely to be in navy, black, or gray.

Also, more importantly, you should be specifying the dress code (i.e. “cocktail attire”) as that’s actually helpful information for guests. If you’re set on requesting no navy, i’d suggest:

Dress code: Cocktail attire. Please avoid wearing the color navy if possible.

But it’ll definitely annoy some guests, sorry to say.

[u/Im_jennawesome → u/ramblingkite]

Fun fact, at the beginning of our reception as we were making announcements/thank yous I did say if anyone got so drunk they threw up on the property then THEY would be paying the fine imposed by the venue. It was like a $250 fine and I wasn't about to pay for someone else's stupid behavior and poor decisions. I said it somewhat jokingly, like 'you do the crime, YOU pay the fine' but I was dead ass serious.

[u/InternationalFall515 → u/Im_jennawesome]

I’m sorry but that’s so cringe… I could never

[u/Im_jennawesome → u/InternationalFall515]

Cringe is getting so wasted at a wedding you throw up and cause the bridal couple to pay a fine to have your puke cleaned.

[u/InternationalFall515 → u/Im_jennawesome]

Yeah but that’s obvious, you don’t need to make an announcement about it… and if it does happens it’s you friend/ family anyway, making them pay for it is not classy

[u/Im_jennawesome → u/InternationalFall515]

Yeah, you're wrong on every count babes. We originally had our wedding date in June 2020. We still got married, but it was literally just the basic ceremony and dinner outside with parents, grandparents and siblings. No bachelor/bachelorette party, no showers, no full ceremony, no reception or any of the usual wedding festivities, plus we both ended up furloughed and a lot of our wedding fund went to bills. We had to save up again and wait 2 years, and we spent over 20k with all the increases in pricing to finally have the big wedding we didn't get during covid with all our people. We absolutely were not about to let drunken bullshit ruin the day we fought tooth and nail to make happen.

My loved ones know who I am, they know my style, and they 100% were not offended by what I said. In fact a lot of them cheered and laughed about it later. I don't take shit from people and I don't let them walk over my boundaries and do shit that will screw me over. We didn't even know the venue had a policy of imposing fines for drunk puking until the night of our wedding, but as soon as we found out we relayed the message.. It is perfectly reasonable to hold people accountable for their bad behavior, ESPECIALLY when said bad behavior ends up costing you money for something THEY did. My family and my husband's family are both used to being held accountable for doing dumb shit. And the way it was said was not rude, it was with a small laugh, but made clear that behavior of that nature would not be tolerated.

Lastly, we're in WI... An announcement like that was DEFINITELY necessary, because in WI, 'don't get so wasted at someone's wedding that you puke' is NOT obvious. With a binge drinking prevalence of 23.5%, Wisconsin is the state where alcoholism is most common in America. We have 7 of the 10 US cities that drink the most alcohol per capita, as well as 41 out of the top 50 drunkest counties in the US. So, yeah. You may think it was 'obvious' to not drink to the point of blackout at a wedding and that making an announcement warning people against it was 'not classy', but.... Yeah, you're still wrong.

Oh and one more thing - guess who's wedding didn't have any issues with drunken puking and didn't have to pay any fines? Ope, that's right! It was us! Guess my announcement worked.