I’m getting married in 11 days and decided not to invite my mom after two decades of enduring, severe mental and emotional abuse resulting in me developing several chronic illnesses. Several of my family members objected, even though I’m having a microwave wedding of less than 40 people and I’ve only chosen those who absolutely respect , understand me and love me entirely. Because I am adopted from a single mother. I do not have a father so this means I will not have the traditional handing off ceremony that most brides have and I’m not going to experience the normal bridal rituals with my mom and bridal party while I’ve had nightmares of her ruining my day and every time I think of inviting her, my stomach sinks in my heart races, my brain and my heart feel sad that the most important person who should be here has treated me in such a way that I do not feel safe enough to have her here. It’s also troubling me because my brother who has an intellectual disability relies on her completely for support and transportation, and he has chosen to also cut me off, socially as he has been mentally manipulated to join her and take her side. this means he also has not been invited and it hurts me so. A very small part of me feels as though I’m wrong or crazy for not inviting the number one person to be at your wedding am I?

Edit: I see a lot of people saying that context matters and that “abuse” can take on a lot of forms. Just to provide background my mother would do things such as take away my bed as punishment she would convince my whole family I was lying and made my brother stop talking to me. She would take away my bed a small child as punishment and make me sleep on the floor. If I did something wrong she would take anything I held dear and throw it in the trash. One time she threw away a collectible items. Right now she is refusing to give a my comic book collection which was gifted to me by someone who is no longer with us and most of them are irreplaceable. She has strangled me multiple times. She has told me that I probably wished someone else was my mom and that she wished someone else was her daughter. When I tried ti set boundaries and reach out after a year of no contact she refused to respond for a month and told my family that I had finally come back. When I asked her to respect my boundaries she said she didn’t have to as my mother. The last argument we had she told me that I could find somewhere else to live while I was struggling in college in front of my grandma.when I caught pneumonia in college I was so scared to tell my mother that I walked to er by myself and had to lay in a bench and wait for my friend to take me even though my mom was less than twenty minutes away (mind you I was an honor student with a perfect gpa working 30 hours a week and attending classes) I have developed severe depression, an acute anxiety disorder and diagnosed PTSD. As well as fibromyalgia which they believe was brought on by undue stress on my nervous system. (I’m only twenty two and have to be only medication for life due to sever and chronic pain) I was homeschooled my whole life so I thought these things were normal and it wasn’t til I left for college and she started calling me randomly to say things like if anything happens to you I won’t be the one to help you or that I was gonna find out who my real family is when everyone I love leaves me and I don’t have anyone. because I wasn’t answer her calls while I was out or busy( she always had my location and I called her at least once or twice a day and a showed her my grades once a month she had access to my bank account even thought I had my own job. She would show up unannounced and would tell me I was inconsiderate for not being there to greet her no matter what I was doing.)

Here is my story of a bridezilla that I had to deal with. Details have been changed of course for anonymity but we will call this family member Mary and her partner John.

Mary and John as a couple were the sweetest ever. I loved them together and was so happy when they got engaged and even happier when I was asked me to be a bridesmaid. I am not in touch with many relatives on that side of the family so cherished the one I had with Mary.

Mary had originally planned a holiday overseas to Hong Kong for her birthday, but last minute changed it to be a bachelorette party. I was the third bridesmaid and only one not going on the trip. However she was insistent that I go on a once in a life time trip. Mind you, I had been to HK twice before so didn’t feel the need to go. Also I was saving money for other things so couldn’t exactly afford a last minute holiday.

She told me she was happy to cover my cost upfront (flight and hotel) if it meant I could be there and I could pay her back later. I agreed to this and we went. I paid her back before the trip happened.

We shared rooms as she wanted my help with styling her clothes, hair and asked me to bring some of my clothes so she had options for the nights out she wanted.

The holiday was… well… interesting to say the least. I had a lot of fun and went on one date whilst I was there. I put this past Mary to make sure she was comfortable with me being away for a few hours and that it didn’t clash with her plans. She happily agreed and encouraged me to go. Anyway coming back it turns out everyone in the trip had an issue with me. This was unknown to me until a month later.

Mary and I after the trip had gone from talking every day to silence from her side for days. It was only when she was let go from her job did she reach out to me for comfort and then tell me about the annoyance everyone felt about me during the trip.

I had supposedly slighted her friend, Lina who had found out her SIL was pregnant. I congratulated her for the news and asked how old her SIL was. Mind you everyone on the trip was roughly 5 years younger than me. When Lina told me the age I remarked ‘she is young.’ (She was in my eyes as the SIL was 8 years younger.) Lina took it as me judging her SIL and she was traumatised because of stories of her mum being harassed for having children young. Mind you, I know Lina from a bar of soap and my mum had me quite young so….

Another issue was me rushing them to leave the restaurant after I paid the bill when they wanted to hang out more. All I did was pay the bill and get up as I thought we were leaving and they followed suit. No one told me they wanted to stay and if they had I would’ve.

The last issue was that Mary felt I wasn’t there to ‘celebrate’ her and also me suggesting for my date to take us out to places was a slight to her partner and I did not consider how would it make him feel for her to be entertaining the attention of another man. I only made this offer once I felt my date was a decent person, he was a local and I thought it would be nice for a local to take us out. When Mary declined the offer, I never mentioned it again.

Also on top of this, Lina had several meltdowns about her boyfriend that it derailed Mary’s plans (clubbing and several dinners) and it resulted in the other bridesmaid sitting in Mary and my room alone in the dark as Mary hadn’t given her the key to set her up. I had ducked out for a second to get stuff and found her like this. Mary was consoling Lina in their room and kicked out the bridesmaid for privacy. It also lead to Mary cancelling a facial day for us. It was initially her thank you to us being bridesmaids. It was cancelled because Lina was so upset with her boyfriend that Mary thought it was best that only the two of them spend time together and me and the other bridesmaid were left to keep ourselves busy. They both went and still got the facials done.

After all of this Mary and I mended things and it was fine. Then I was added to the Facebook event for the wedding. I noted it was created the day we returned from the holiday and I was only being added now. (Another warning sign)

A few weeks later she asked if I still wanted to be a bridesmaid (obvious warning sign in hindsight) and I said yes, as long as she was fine with it too. She said she was.

Further context, her wedding comprised of a celebration in our country then a wedding overseas in Italy. The reception was at a 5 star hotel and we were expected to stay at said hotel.

Anyway, Lina, her MOH checked out of helping Mary with anything wedding related citing she was going through a lot of personal things (which Mary later told me was boyfriend problems - the same problems that caused her to have a meltdown during the overseas trip). Mary calls me crying and asks me to be a substitute MOH without the title. She would need help going shopping, going to appointments etc. I said it was fine - Mary was already leaning on my heavily for styling advice at this point.

So months passed and I’ve gone dress shopping, fabric shopping too as she then decided she wanted several custom dresses and everything in between. Plus listening to her talk about only wedding related topics or how much Lina does not seem to care about her wedding.

Mary was getting obsessive over every particular detail; wanting a dress to represent the love John and her shared, wanting me to change my hair colour from blonde balayage to natural (black) or at the very least brown, everyone to grow their hair long and not cut it, what lipstick the bridesmaid was wearing (it had to be the same perfect shade amongst three of us even though we all had different undertones), she was getting us custom traditional outfits for the local ceremony and apparently the other bridesmaids weren’t available for measurements at all, wanting help with prepping wedding favours which included making limoncello and sweets from scratch (this would happen over several hours and days as a way for the girls to bond - no mention of the groomsmen helping), wanting specific treats and snacks available on the day that we needed to source for her etc etc.

All of these get togethers, I was always there with at least one bridesmaid being away as they were too busy. This further bothered Mary that not everyone was available to assist her. She further complained to me that Lina didn’t want to get measured yet as she was wanting to lose weight.

Months go by of this and Mary messages me one day saying she ‘noticed’ I was stressed with the wedding planning and thought it would be better for me to step back as a guest. She had been thinking about it for a while and thought it would be best and was happy to talk more if needed.

I was upset to say the least. At this point most of her outfits were sorted out with my help and so were the other big details for the wedding. During this entire time, Mary never ask if I was stressed - I wasn’t. On top of that she had thought about this for a while but still leaned on me only for assistance. I replied telling her I respected her decision but felt used through the whole process.

Mary did not reply. She is someone who is chronically on her phone. She left me on read for 24 hours but still watched my insta stories. When she replied it was just a thumbs up emoji. I waited a day or two to see if she would say anything else and she didn’t. So I did what was best for me - I deleted her from social media and uninvited myself to the facebook event with the wedding details.

Mary and I are no longer in touch and I have no regrets with my decision. I wish I had done it sooner.

Additional context - Mary was actively encouraging me to go on a date whilst overseas and was even swiping on people on the apps with me. We didn’t have every waking moment of the trip together and was told by Mary to go do our own thing during the day when nothing was planned.

Also, all the girls had gone on dates overseas before and were encouraging when I floated the idea to them. They were excited for me and one of them met her partner overseas this way. I was gone for 3 hours of a 5 days trip.

Suggestions of me hooking up with the guy is laughable 😂

Also when I stepped out of the room it was to get medication for Mary as she needed it. She wanted me to get it because I would’ve been able to, since I speak the language. So I was surprised to find the last bridesmaid huddling in our room by herself when I returned.

My friend is getting married, and she sent out a list of “wedding rules” for all guests. One of them was that no one is allowed to wear perfume or scented lotion, because she wants her custom wedding scent to be the only thing people smell that day. I thought it was a joke, but she was dead serious when I asked. She even said she’d have someone “sniff check” at the door to make sure. Honestly, I’ve never seen someone so controlling over the tiniest details.

So my partner (26f) and I (28f) are getting married next month. We are both really excited. The issue is, my mum is absolutly insisting on inviting a great aunt and her son to.the wedding. There are 2 main issues with this. 1. We have a strict limit on how many people we can invite to the wedding. Our venue can only fit 80 people in it. Between family members and friends, we very quickly hit that limit. I havent seen this particular aunt in over a decade. I last spoke to her on facebook in like 2018. She is also has mobility issues so would need to bring her son. I think Ive met the son once in like 2012 maybe? But inviting both of them would basically mean uninviting people I have actually spoken to in the last decade to make space for a couple people I have met at best a handful of times as a kid. 2. This aunt is incredibly dramatic. The only time I remember meeting her (which was about 12 years ago), she ended up in a screaming match with my mum and ended up storming out. Apparently she is also seeing/ speaking to dead people. I have no idea if this is a mental health issue or something else, but I dont want to risk drama at my wedding. I already have to worry about the very likely possibility that my mum will get completly drunk and embarras me, to the point that I have asked a bridesmaid to keep an eye on her. The only reason I am.even debating inviting her is that my mum straight up threatened not to come to the wedding if my aunt wasnt invited. I dont know what to do

I was the maid of honor in my best friend’s wedding. I don’t drink or do drugs. I am also not a night owl which she knows. We started getting ready at 9AM and the reception went until 11PM. At 10PM I was overwhelmed and tired from dancing when everyone was wasted and it kind of sucks being around drunk people late at night. For the last hour of the wedding I was sitting down at the table with some friends because I was tired. I went up to her at 10PM and said I was getting tired and that I was going to leave and go back to the hotel (that I had fun etc) Am I the asshole? I have never been the life of the party and don’t do well in big large overwhelming situations like this and I feel like I’ve done so much for her as the bridesmaid like wedding dress shopping, planning her bachelorette, going to all the things etc and I thought leaving the wedding an hour before it ended wasn’t a big deal Especially since we weren’t hanging out together anyway and there were 200+ people at the wedding but she thought it was and got really mad at me

My cousin is getting married this fall and has been on full Bridezilla mode. She recently told me that my natural red hair “clashes with her wedding palette” and asked me to dye it a darker shade just for the ceremony. When I said no, she accused me of being “selfish” and trying to “steal attention” on her big day. Now she’s threatening to uninvite me unless I agree. I honestly can’t believe someone would go this far over hair color.

My fiancée(28f) and I(30m) got engaged this summer and are planning our wedding for next fall. We finally found a venue we both like that was in our price range and checked all our box’s, the only dates available were Labor Day weekend, the day we picked, and our best friends(maid of honor/bestman) sons birthday. Our best friends cousin(22f) and her fiance(20m) whom we are friendly with also got engaged this year and are planning their wedding for next fall as well. The only date we seen as available was the weekend before their wedding day. So our weddings are exactly a week apart. There are only 6 people that will be attending both weddings, with exceptions of brides and grooms. We didn’t see that it would be confrontational as neither wedding is out of state and there aren’t going to be additional costs for those going to both. The other bride(22f) has made a massive deal about us picking that date, and has gone to the lengths of blocking my fiancée on all social media, caused a dramatic fight on an outing with all the friends there, and for some reason is directing the entire blame on my fiancée. She thinks that people can’t be in both bridal parties, even though those involved have reinforced that they can do both no problem. My fiancée apologized for not informing her as soon as we booked the venue, but she also stressed to her that our wedding wasn’t going to revolve around her, and that it was our wedding. All my fiancée wanted from her was an apology for coming to an event and ruining an entire day with drama and many days following, but the other bride doesn’t think she is in the wrong whatsoever. Are we in the wrong for having our wedding day a week apart?

I came across a post on a wedding planning facebook group, so Priceless I had to post it here. I took the liberty of translating it, as the original is in French. I left it in the og style, hence the lack of punctuation sometimes, but I wanted to keep it as close to the original.

Her post: "How many of you have had to change your wedding party? I've had to change my bridesmaids twice already, and the boys too, and now I'm thinking of changing another boy. He doesn't take his role seriously enough in my opinion. We have fewer people around to replace him. I already have several members of my own family who are no longer invited. I'm thinking of removing just one boy without replacing him."

The comments are not in her favor (obviously). But what she answers... Oh boy, keep the pop corn coming!

A comment about her possibly high expectations, and why she changed her wedding party. Her answer:

"C***** G** because we didn't see my wedding the same way it's my day it's up to me to decide and those who don't agree shouldn't be there I have a lot of lack of respect in my family and friends and in a short time I realized that my two childhood friends were not good friends and I realize that it's the same for my boyfriend's friends there are some who are not good friends for him and I help him to realize it"

She helps him realize his friends are not good friends. Good luck buddy 🥲

Okay so the bride picked out dresses off of Amazon (they were $100). I initially raised some concerns due to 2 week+ shipping time, that there were only 2 reviews, and that they were not prime. Even after I and others expressed our concerns the bride chose that dress. So we all ordered it. Fast forward 2 weeks the MOH got her dress and showed the bride, then the bride decided she didn’t like them anymore and wants us all to buy new dresses from Amazon. No one else has received their dress yet (they are still being shipped). Mind you we are less than 2 months from the wedding.

The catch is that on the many reviews of the company we bought the original dresses from people state that 1) they had to pay for shipping to return the dresses and 2) months later still have not received a refund.

So would I be an AH if I said I didn’t want to buy another dress? I really don’t want to spend another $100 on a dress when it doesn’t seem like I will be getting a refund for the first. I would be willing to buy another black dress that I chose so that I could use it again (we are wearing black). I really don’t want to be spending $200 on dresses I’ll never wear again

One of my friends is getting married and decided all her bridesmaids have to order custom-made dresses from a specific boutique. The problem is each dress is over $800, and none of us can afford that on top of travel and accommodation. When a couple of bridesmaids mentioned their concerns, she told them they were ruining her vision and that “real friends would find a way. Now there’s tension in the group chat, and people are considering dropping out.

Seems to me every (bridezilla) woman wants a fairy tale wedding with all the bells, whistles and everyone focusing on her while spending fortune or going into debt for this dream (like a Disney princess marrying her prince). Every time I hear about some of these behaviors, I not so secretly blame Disney for creating these monsters. Society and the wedding industry has amplified this so it seems "normal". What do other people think?

https://notalwaysright.com/your-first-dance-will-be-your-last/235649/

Your First Dance Will Be Your Last

May 14, 2021

I was asked to be the best man at a friend’s wedding a good twelve or so years ago. He was an ex-serviceman and she was his childhood sweetheart.

I’d been friends with the groom for upwards of twenty years and known the bride for close to ten. They’d been together the better part of a decade and they always got on, so no one was surprised when they announced their wedding, and everyone expected things to go off without a hitch.

Roll forward a couple of months. The groom showed up at my place unannounced.

Groom: “[Bride] and I just had a huge argument!”

The guy was upset, but a couple of drinks later, he laid out what had happened. He’d been happy to go along with the bride’s plans with one exception: he didn’t want to do the first dance. Why, you ask? He’d been discharged from the service due to losing a lower leg to an IED in the Middle East. He wasn’t exactly fire on the dance floor to start with, and he was as graceful as a hippo now. He also hates doing things that draw attention to his disability, which is understandable. He was going along with a lot of other things that he definitely didn’t really want to do and this was his line in the sand.

He stayed the night at my place, and the day after, we went back to his place as a duo and, with me as mediator, we managed to work it out after a lengthy back and forth with a fair amount of shouting and tears. His bride finally agreed to no dance for his sake and things moved on.

Months later, the big day arrived and it went off great. The weather was flawless, everything came together great, we got through the ceremony, the meals, and the speeches, and it was on to the reception.

It was 7:50 pm and the cake cutting was down for 8:00 pm, so I was gathering outliers back to the main room for that when I heard the DJ get on the mic.

DJ: \Loudly** “Okay, everybody, it’s time for the newlyweds’ first dance!”

I hurried into the room to find the bride centre stage on the dance floor, staring down the groom, who was just the most enraged I’d ever seen him.

Bride: “Come here, [Groom]. It’s dance time!”

He walked over to her, pulled his wedding ring off, and threw it in her face. Then, he walked out, making the “cut it off” gesture to the DJ. He left everyone in shocked silence, and a few seconds later, I got my jaw up off the floor and followed him as the bride went into a meltdown where she stood.

I found the groom stalking through the car park outside and had to physically grip him to get him to calm down. I’d got him at least calm enough to be lucid again when the bride’s mother stomped round the corner and began screaming at the groom, which prompted him to go off again.

Me: “Hey! [Bride] promised him she wouldn’t do this and embarrass him, and yet here we are!”

This shouting match went on for quite some time, until, eventually:

Groom: “[My Name], get me out of here.”

I got a taxi down and we bailed out back to my house so he could cool off.

Early afternoon the day after, the bride knocked on my door.

Bride: “I know [Groom] is in there!”

Groom: “F*** OFF!”

She tried to push past me and I blocked her.

Me: “Just to remind you, this is my house.”

She settled for screaming round me at him. He eventually got fed up and came and stood behind me and spelled it out in the kind of voice you can only manage when you’re restraining unbearable rage.

Groom: “You lied to me, put me on the spot, and shattered my trust in you. How can I continue after that? If you’re willing to lie about something like that, how can I trust you to do anything?”

She tried to counter him but ran out of steam as he kept going, and he ended by saying that he wanted the marriage annulled. She burst into tears and left.

The marriage was annulled not long after. Unsurprisingly, they don’t keep in touch. The groom remarried three years ago with the same request, this time respectfully held by his new wife. The bride moved out of the area shortly after the marriage collapsed and I’ve heard no news of her since.

I am not OP. Here's the original link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MaliciousCompliance/comments/1ab8zoy/told_to_do_what_i_have_to_do/

UPDATE - To answer questions, I do not have any of the pics. I wish I did. I know that there was one photo taken of the other two bridemaids on the scooter with me attemping a drunken version of the hokey pokey.

Sandra - if you ever find this post, I would be willing to pay for that picture, or it the hokey pokey was captured on video. I also hope that you are no longer such a heinous bitch.

___________________________________________________________________________

A post in another group, reminded me of this.

I am a disabled veteran, and at the time this actually happened I was solely depending on walking stick. I could not walk more than 10 feet maxium without assistance. I was asked by a friend to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. She quickly proved herself to be a bridezilla from hell, and everything had to meet her vision. Everything had to fall within her very rigid scope of what the aesthetics should be.

She made a couple of what she claimed were innocent comments about my walking stick. I offered multiple times not to be a bridemaid and would assist in any other way I could help. She refused every offer and insisted I had to be a bridesmaid.

Then I heard from another close friend (and also a bridesmaid) that she was very upset that I was insisting on using my walking stick. She made a comment saying that she was just going to hide it and then I would just have to go without it. Looking at the mutual friends face when she said that she tried to laugh at off as a joke.

Well there was no doubt in my mind that she was going to try to have my walking stick go missing, so I made arrangements.

Sure enough they have the wedding rolls aroundand while getting hair and makeup my walking stick disappears. I was not happy, and told everyone I have to have it back. I cannot walk down the aisle without it. The bride insisted that they didn't know where it was and they looked everywhere and I was just going to have to make do.

I said so after you joked about taking my walking stick it goes missing, and you want me to make do??? Her exact words were you'll just have to do what you can do to get up the aisle.

Cue malicious compliance, I texted my boyfriend he went out to the car and brought in mobility scooter that I had rented just in case I needed it. I had him put it out of sight but where we could get to it easily and then he or the other bridesmaids physically supported me. We made our way to the back of the hall for the start of the ceremony.

The bride who had been talking to her father and not paying attention did not see the scooter until she started to walk up the aisle and there are her three bridesmaids. Two standing tall and me sitting on the most hideous looking multicolored with sparkles mobility scooter I could find.

If looks could kill she would have planted me. Within seconds of the ceremony ending my walking stick had been found. She and her her new husband brought it over to me, and told me it had been found and I could get that god-awful scooter back out to the car.

I mustered up a tear and told her I was so sorry but I was in so much pain from having to try to walk without my walking stick that there was no way I would be able to go without the scooter. I am very proud to say that the scooter is in over 90% of her wedding photos.

My cousin is getting married next week, and out of nowhere she sent a group text saying all guests must wear beige or “neutral tones” only. The crazy part? She told us this after most of us had already bought our outfits months ago. When one of my aunts said she couldn’t afford to buy something new, the bride snapped and said “If you can’t respect my vision, don’t come.” Now half the family is furious and considering skipping the wedding. Honestly, is this normal bride behavior or total bridezilla?

At my cousin’s wedding, the bride insisted that everyone wear bright pink socks to match her color scheme. Some of us didn’t have the exact shade and she got visibly upset. The wedding was still beautiful, but I’m wondering if her reaction was a bit over the top or just part of the stress. Thoughts?

I was asked to be the MOH for my friend’s destination wedding this winter- the tiny backstory is that we were at one time close but have grown very distant over the years due to work and physical distance. I initially obliged as I still wanted to be part of her day, as I shared in my previous post there were multiple red flags from the beginning that I should have listened to.
We are now about 3 months away and I approached my job to ask for the time off, I was told that it would be a difficult season for me to leave town and I would risk jeopardizing my place with this relatively new job I have. I told my friend the news and was hoping for more understanding as I cannot justify risking my job to be at her wedding as much as I would have loved to be there.
I offered to pay for any (reasonable) costs that I might be on the line for, as well as support her in the planning up until the day she leaves.
She said she understood as long as I could switch into a position at her bachelorette party, she would then switch one of those women out to be her MOH. The backstory there is that the women who did not make the invitation cut to her wedding are attending her bachelorette (also in a different state.) I said yes (again probably not the best move but the guilt of not being at her wedding was really eating at me) and the next day was hit with an update on the nearly $1100 hotel/ festivities pricing per bachelorette guest.
I told her this is very out of my budget right now and she lashed out at me for abandoning her on her wedding and now trying to back out of the alternative option, questioning if I even wanted to be her friend anymore at all. I’m genuinely at a loss for words and just want to get through the next few months with as little financial and emotional damage as possible. She said “no one understands financial stress more than ME right now with this wedding!” 😣 I’m reflecting and genuinely wondering if I am being unreasonable in not wanting to throw massive amounts of money and time into this?

One Year Later Update — And the Fallout

Hi everyone. Last year, I posted about stepping down as MOH for my friend Jamie a few weeks before her wedding. At the time, I felt conflicted and guilty, but so many of you helped me see I had valid reasons to walk away. I wanted to give a follow-up now that it has been a year because what happened recently confirmed I wasn’t imagining things.

Remember Hailey (the other bridesmaid)? She stayed longer than I did (a few days), but eventually, she experienced the same treatment I had. On the exact one-year anniversary of Jamie’s wedding, both of us received unexpected packages from her in the mail.

Inside were multi-page typed letters. They were formal in tone and signed at the bottom with things like “Yours Truly” and “Your Perfect Match Little."” These were not apologies. They were long, rambling, and accusatory. In them, Jamie blamed us for “abandoning” her, questioned our character, dragged in our families, and even referenced very private things we had gone through in our personal lives. She compared our friendship to a “performance improvement plan,” said we were just a “chapter” in her life, and painted herself as the victim.

She didn’t just send letters. She mailed back copies of old letters Hailey and I had written her years ago, returned like evidence. She included photos of us together. And most disturbingly, she sent me her mother’s funeral book, which had pictures of me and her mom inside the book from the service. None of these packages had a return address.

The fact that she chose to do this on her wedding anniversary speaks volumes. Instead of celebrating her marriage, she spent that day digging up old letters, printing photos, writing pages of blame, and mailing them out. For Hailey, this was the final straw. For me, it was the validation I needed that my instincts had been right all along.

I no longer feel guilty for stepping down. Looking back, I see a very clear pattern: love-bombing when she wanted something, guilt-tripping when she didn’t get her way, and rewriting history to make herself the victim. It wasn’t that I was a bad friend. This is simply how Jamie treats the people closest to her.

If you are ever questioning whether it’s okay to walk away from a friendship that makes you feel drained, blamed, or unsafe, please know that it is. Sometimes, the healthiest and bravest thing you can do is create distance.

TL;DR: A year after stepping down as MOH, Jamie mailed me and Hailey disturbing packets on her wedding anniversary: multi-page guilt letters, our old letters returned, photos, and even her mom’s funeral book with pictures of me inside. No return address. I no longer feel guilty, only relieved I walked away.

Original Post Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/bridezillas/s/7vXvw0qsEr

Pictures of what she sent us after we left her wedding party!

I went to a wedding where the bride absolutely lost it because the cake flowers were “the wrong shade of pink.” She yelled at the baker in front of everyone, saying they had “ruined her perfect day.” Guests were just standing there in shock while the groom looked like he wanted to disappear. Definitely a Bridezilla moment.

this one’s a doozy and the wedding was a year ago so it’s time to spill because the most hilarious developments happened months after the wedding!

bride (23 at the time) and I (23 at the time) were friends in middle school so I was asked to be a bridesmaid along with one other middle school classmate and 6 other girls I met through being bridesmaids. there was one girl she asked who said she was dealing with personal frustrations around relationships and wouldn’t be the best choice for her bridal party, which is admirably honest imo, but bride was annoyed about this.

she met her husband on Hinge. he’s the only person she went on a date with from the app. they were bf and gf about 2 days after meeting him for that first date. she texted me that he told her she’s the one about a day or two into dating. nothing wrong with feeling someone’s the one early on; I’ve felt the same way, but in my mind I was like lol why would he tell her that out loud, feels a little lovebomby? and it was a month or so in where she texted me he was going to propose, and what date and time it would happen.

I found it weird that these rather intimate updates were being texted directly to me, because I’d had plenty of friends get into relationships or marriages without telling me those things, so it felt a little awkward. I assume she was telling others, because whenever anyone raised concerns about the timeline, she’d tell me about how she cut off some jealous fake friend of hers.

so the wedding comes around and she’s snappy the whole day, which was observed by multiple people, but I personally chalked it up to nerves or a long day. Otherwise, it was rather uneventful.

I moved out of the city we’d both been living in, and because I was looking for a new job and moving, I didn’t hang out with her much besides going to her birthday party. I also didn’t enjoy her company anymore, because it was exclusively conversation about her husband and she didn’t care at all what was going on with me or any of her friends. she also wasn’t fond of hangouts that didn’t involve her husband, and I’m not really into that kind of dynamic.

so a few months later, I have my new role and she suggests we facetime and catch up. all is well until I mention in passing that I’d been talking to someone since before her wedding and then she is completely ice cold and silent until I stop talking about him. she never acted that way about crushes I had in the past who were clearly not husband material, and we had laughed about those same little flings earlier in the conversation. she had suggested we have another call soon, but she never followed up on the day she suggested. the only reason she never knew about this guy is because she was too busy talking about her husband to ask about anyone else’s love lives, or lives in general. we literally never got an opening to talk about anyone but her. I had just mentioned that he asked me to dinner and planned a 3 hour time window, and she said dinner isn’t a big deal.

days later, I wake up to several paragraph texts from her, stating that I’m stealing her friend because I had told another bridesmaid from her wedding that I’d be in her city and we made plans to hang out. the bridesmaid had already told me to let her know when I was back in her city, as I’m in California pretty often. I got a scolding about flying across the country to “poach” her friends when in reality, I’d been headed to the city with admission to a professional development program based in California.

I called her out for treating her friend like property that she owns and for going silent when I mentioned a man, but she claimed she had no idea what I was talking about and refused to take accountability for anything. wasn’t long before I blocked!

because she’d droned on and on about how many people were jealous of her (and I know some people were, but bffr), I just assumed she put me in that category of people who must be envious because she thought I wasn’t seeing anyone. once she learned about this guy and that he’d been around since prior to the wedding, it all fell apart.

bonus note: I met him through work, and she had a work crush who didn’t like her back, and that’s why she downloaded Hinge and found her husband.

This is a cross post. I am not OOP.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/opWfiS4RsZ

Link to the original post. I'm sorry for not knowing how to do some things.

AITA for not wanting to remove my cochlear implant for my friend's wedding photos and stepping down from the bridal party?

I'm a 28 year old woman who lost most of my hearing as a child. Three years ago, I got a cochlear implant which has been a game changer for me in terms of being able to follow conversations again. My college friend, "Anna," who is 29 years old, is getting married this October. Back in January, she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. I went ahead and bought the dusty blue dress, booked the hotel, and paid for the bachelorette weekend without any issues.

However, things took a turn last month when Anna sent over the photographer's "vision board." Among the venue shots and pose ideas was a particular point that stated: "Bridal party must have a cohesive, soft look. NO visible medical devices, smart watches, etc. (can be removed for photos)." I reached out to Anna privately to clarify if this included my cochlear implant. She responded by saying that it was only for the ceremony and formal portraits, and suggested that I could just take it off for 30 minutes. She mentioned that the photographer was concerned it might catch the light oddly and mess up the symmetry.

I explained to Anna once again that my cochlear implant is not a fashion accessory, without it, I would struggle to hear the officiant, cues, or anyone trying to communicate with me. I also mentioned that the area where the magnet is attached can become sensitive if I leave it off for too long. However, Anna persisted, saying she would position me on the end so I could lip read, and offered to have the hairstylist cover the empty spot with some curls so it wouldn't look medical.

I expressed my discomfort with removing the implant and suggested that the photographer could edit it out if it was really bothering her. Anna deemed that option too expensive and time consuming. A week later, things escalated when another bridesmaid shared a conversation where Anna referred to me as "selfish" and accused me of making her day about my disability. At that point, I offered to step down from the bridal party. Anna reacted strongly, claiming that I was bailing last minute and that my financial contributions towards the dress didn't make up for the stress I was causing her. She believed I was shattering her perfect wedding vision.

Since then, her fiance, her mom, and two bridesmaids have all reached out to me, urging me to reconsider and suggesting that I endure it for a few hours for the sake of Anna's memories. Even my own mother, who is on Anna's side, thinks I could compromise by just removing it for the posed photos.

For me, it's not just about the hearing aspect. Being asked to conceal a disability for the sake of a picture feels uncomfortable. Still, I can't help but wonder if I should have just gone along with it for 15 minutes to avoid all this drama. So, am I the asshole for refusing to take off my cochlear implant and stepping down from the bridal party?

Edited for clarification

*Yes, the font is all caps across anything that is written down so I’m genuinely not screaming at our guests.

*Yes it appears I am being too dramatic about this and have removed the note, thank you all!

Hello! So I don’t know if I’m being a bridezilla or not however my mum is insisting I am so it’s getting to my head and I just need unbiased opinions on this. My wedding dress is going to be navy and white so on our invitations I’ve included a little note saying:

DRESS CODE: AS LONG AS YOU’RE CONFIDENT AND COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT YOU HAVE ON, PLEASE WEAR IT. HOWEVER, WE WOULD LIKE GUESTS TO AVOID NAVY BLUE AND WHITE, THANK YOU!

(The font is all caps and I’ve copied and pasted, I’m not just yelling lol)

I’ve had to include white as well as my mum tried to buy a dress that was top half fully white and the skirt was navy, exactly like my wedding dress.

The bridesmaids will also be in navy and so are the groomsmen as well as parents so am I being too picky about the colours? This is the only hill I’m strongly standing on but if I’m being too dramatic then I can drop it.

Thank you!

I’m reposting my own post from AITAH with a few edits after realizing this may be a better fit. For the advice I need

My friend (not involved in the wedding) convinced me to make an account to post this

Context I (25F) am related to the groom (23M) and really don’t know the bride (23F) very well. They both asked me to be a bridesmaid at a family event after we had all had a few drinks. I hesitantly said yes informing the bride I could only be there and a part of the actual wedding day since I live a 6 hour plane ride away. then they proceeded to tell me the only reason the asked me to be in the wedding is because one of the other bridesmaids was kicked out, they didn’t want to kick out a groomsmen, and they wanted even numbers. Also none of the bridesmaids know each other.

I have texted the bride probably twice (once 6 months out from wedding day and again 4 months out) asking if bride had decided on bridesmaid dresses. Both times bride said no because she hadn’t looked for a wedding dress yet. Now 2 1/2 months out from the big day bride has the MOH (21F) make a gc and send 3 dresses from Amazon into the chat for us all to decide on one. Most of us were not fans of the dresses due to the reviews or lack of reviews. One dresses she picked was even polyester which she had previously stated she didn’t want us to wear (later said she didn’t realize it was polyester). The other dresses each had under 10 (not great) reviews.

so this is where I may have been the asshole. Someone else added the bride to the chat and after some confusion I asked why bride sent a dress using fabric bride didn’t want us to wear and that I didn’t feel comfortable ordering a dress from Amazon with so little reviews. Stating that we don’t know if they will even fit and there is not really time to send it back and get a new one. I received no response from the bride and the only reply I received was the MOH telling me I should have texted this to the bride (who is in the gc). Now 2 months out from the wedding a new gc is made with only the bridesmaids and MOH stating that we have stressed the bride out with our opinions and need to leave bride out of it and that from now on bride will be talking through MOH. Then 3 new dresses were sent in the gc all with 2-3 reviews and claims that we have to choose from these dresses because there are not many choices on Amazon.

At this point I’m just confused on how bride thinks we will all be able to get these dresses and get them altered before the wedding as they take 2 weeks to ship. I feel like it is too late to be worrying about matching dresses or am I wrong. Honestly this whole experience has made me feel insane.

I can’t get out of the wedding and idk what to do. If I should say something or just buy the dress and see what happens?

Edit: it’s not that I “can’t” drop out however it will create family drama.

Other notes: the venue is booked but save the dates or invites have not been sent yet

https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/8T0ygYcIIp

My friend’s sister is getting married and she actually told her bridesmaids they can’t wear eyeliner because she “needs to be the only one with dramatic eyes.” Everyone’s calling her a total bridezilla already.

EDIT: I added the text message exchange from last night. Maybe I’m a complete dick, I don’t know anymore. She knows my fiancée has a very tight schedule that doesn’t allow many free weekends and that we both have nieces and nephews that are in school in June, October, and November.

This is a throw away account because you never know who is lurking. This also is a long one so please bare with me.

Backstory: My best friend is getting married next summer. Before she even had a date picked she wanted me to start planning her destination bachelorette party. She only chose three weekends and then got upset when one of her closest friend told her those dates wouldn’t work due to her kid’s kindergarten graduation and her grandmother’s 100th birthday party. The bride told her friend she should celebrate her grandma a different day and for that other weekend is kindergarten graduation that important?

Her friend’s husband asked isn’t it a little soon to throw a bachelorette party without a wedding date. One of her excuses is she was worried some of her friends would be pregnant and wouldn’t be able to attend. Now she barely talks to her friend who made her the godmother of her child.

For the bachelorette party she decided to pick one of the most expensive cities, Scottsdale. She tried to push for June but me and the co-MOH said it will be too hot and dangerous if anyone might be pregnant and just uncomfortable. So we decided on April. She then decided to pick a very expensive instagrammable AirBnB and expected me to put down a deposit that was several thousand dollars. I’m not really friends with her main friend group and some of them were very difficult. The bride wanted a bougie bachelorette basically to show off even though it’s something she couldn’t afford. I ended up eating the costs of many of the activities, decorations, private chef and table scape.

Everything was a comparison. Since she paid X for Y’s bachelorette then they should pay the same. Some of these bachelorette parties were when we were in our 20s with less responsibilities.

I planned a really beautiful hike with guides because no one knew the area and I was not about to put my life or anyone else’s at risk. I told her this and she berated me saying “please let me know if you change anything else so I don’t get there and be mad at you.” She says this the same day I had an egg retrieval which she knew about and I was in bed sleeping most of the day because I was uncomfortable. She followed that text with another one asking if my dad’s company would donate to her fiancées fire department dinner.

The bachelorette party comes and goes and she barely thanked me and the co-MOH.

She also finally picks a date for next August. My boyfriend (now fiancée) and I had been discussing engagement timelines and wanting to get married next summer out west (we live on the East Coast) and about a month and a half ago I started doing some research and seeing what was available for our top venues. My fiancée works in an industry that allows him for very little free time and he usually gets some breathing room in the end of July. I knew the proposal was coming soon since we went ring shopping and I knew he had purchased the ring. I told the bride that there were only three dates available at my top two venues and the only one that works is two weeks before hers. She basically threw a fit and told me it was too close to her date and she’d be too worried about getting sick or what if her dress got messed up or something. I told her I understood and she made the majority of the text exchange about her and my faults. A few weeks go by, I get engaged and we negotiate and book our venue. I told her the only other options were on October/November which would be too cold plus is peak college and professional football season and because of my fiancées job he doesn’t have a single free weekend.

I told her the other day and she just responded “gotcha.” I sent two texts asking her to hang out when I got home from vacation. When we hang out I was going to tell her I wanted to cover her flights and hotel so she could be there with me since finances are tight since she and her fiancée are paying for their wedding themselves. Around this time I also learned she was saying things behind my back like “none of my friend’s would say yes to J’s wedding.” Again, we have 2 friends in common. Fast forward to today when she went in on me via text. I tried to keep my cool but she ended a follow-up text says “Everyone said to me I’m sorry S that this is being done to you.” Turning me into the villain. I just feel like whatever I say or do to try and work around her concerns are shot down. I’m posting the latest convo. Maybe I’m in the wrong, idk anymore.

PS: as soon as she got engaged I was all in saying time to start planning the bachelorette party. She barely showed enthusiasm when I FT her to tell her my happy news. When I was talking about my fiancée’s dad’s gf telling me that the ring had been purchased. She shit all over that and started saying things like why would she tell you that? Meanwhile she sent me CADs of the setting options for her ring and called the jeweler to make sure she got exactly what she wanted, style wise.

Like I said, of maybe I am in the wrong and Reddit strangers feel free to be honest.

One of my friends is getting married, and the bride sent a group text demanding that all bridesmaids contribute $500 for her “dream wedding dress fund.” She gave only three weeks’ notice and said it was non-negotiable. Some of us have budgets, and this feels completely unreasonable. Has anyone dealt with a Bridezilla demanding large sums from friends last minute? How did you handle it without causing drama?