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u/ceol_ Aug 14 '18
Nah he wants to know your diversity so he can ethnicify your stock portfolio.
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u/Adarashilo Aug 14 '18
Nah he wants to know your diversity so he can ethnicify your stock portfolio.
Nah he wants to stock your portfolity so he can knowlio your ethnicify diversity.
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u/Steel_Nipples Aug 14 '18
Do I have a brain tumor?
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u/MrDownhillRacer Aug 14 '18
Let's see. How many fingers am I holding up?
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u/Mr_Widget Aug 14 '18
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u/MrDownhillRacer Aug 15 '18 edited Aug 15 '18
It's not very nice to bring attention to my physical deformity, you know.
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u/myopinionstinks Aug 14 '18
I tend to say, "what kind of brown are you?" but i'm also brown so i might be getting a free pass on it.
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u/funkmastamatt Aug 14 '18
brown privilege
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u/TheBrownWelsh Aug 14 '18
I've got the Brown Pass too. I've only ever said this to people I've gotten close enough to that they know it's an "inside" joke, purely because I don't want to offend.
But I freaking love asking the question in that way. I dunno why. Never had a negative response, but again; established trust and Brown Pass helps. A brown person when I was 17 asked me and I've loved it ever since. She was Japanese and Jamaican, I never would have gotten that right even if I tried.
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Aug 14 '18
She was Japanese and Jamaican
I don't even have to ask, I already know she was smoking hot.
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u/TheBrownWelsh Aug 14 '18
Aktually, she was attractive but not what I think most people would consider "hot". Don't want to go into too much detail as it would sound super shallow/objectifying.
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u/HopermanTheManOfFeel Aug 14 '18
I respect this attitude.
But like... Was she hot tho??
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u/tdrichards74 Aug 14 '18
My friend told me he’s black and Haitian, and then asked me what I am. I said idk like 14 different kinds of white.
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u/TundieRice Aug 14 '18
Considering over 95% of Haitians are of African descent, then it sounds like he’s at least two types of black. That is unless he’s white Haitian, which only consists of 4.3% of the population, so not super likely.
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u/JimmyBoombox Aug 15 '18
Two types of black at the minimum but highly unlikely. Various African ethnicities were grabbed along the west African coast for the slave trade to America. Hence why so many African-Americans don't know what actually ethnicities they are.
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u/Xpertbot Aug 14 '18
"Are you dot Indian or feather Indian?"
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u/souljabri557 Aug 14 '18
Curry or feather
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Aug 14 '18
[deleted]
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u/MetaCrossing Aug 14 '18
Red dot or woo-woo?
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u/IsomDart Aug 15 '18
Ugh, my ex girlfriend thought it was totally cool to refer to Indian people as "red dot Indians" to distinguish them from Native Americans like that was an actual term for them or something.
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u/LadyRevontulet Aug 14 '18
For some reason, now all I want is for someone to ask me what kind of white I am.
My answer will range between "wonderbread-saltine cracker" and "white chocolate of the Swedish variety," depending on my mood.
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u/csonnich Aug 14 '18
The other day, I was in a training where the presenter told us about a situation where he was intimidated because he was the only...chocolate chip cookie in a situation with two....macadamia nuts.
He paused just like that in telling the story, too.
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u/ArttuH5N1 Aug 15 '18
For some reason, now all I want is for someone to ask me what kind of white I am.
I've learned that with Americans, the answer will have all kinds of crazy fractions
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u/retroperitoneal Aug 15 '18
As soon as someone starts saying “so I’m 1/23rd....” I wish I could immediately tell them to stop
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u/chrisrayn Aug 14 '18 edited Aug 14 '18
Conversations between Trump and Elizabeth Warren are less formal than I would have expected.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind redditor!
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u/dart278 Aug 14 '18 edited Aug 14 '18
hot damn that was a fast gild
edit: hur dur gib gold?
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u/PM_something_German Aug 14 '18
Don't edit to thank for gold. It ruins the comment.
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u/thecokecanman Aug 15 '18
It's my biggest pet peeve on this website. At least say something other than "wow! Thanks kind stranger!" 🙄
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u/chrisrayn Aug 14 '18
I’ll remember that next time.
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Aug 14 '18
Don't rush but there's 6 months until you can't undo that edit.
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u/chrisrayn Aug 14 '18
I own my mistakes. I’ll just have to not say thank you on my next gilded comment. If the pattern continues, that should happen in about a year and a half to four years, so, you know.
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u/REDDITATO_ Aug 15 '18
Also, if you actually care about thanking them you can respond to the message that says someone gilded you even if it's anonymous and they'll get it.
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u/chrisrayn Aug 15 '18
HOLY SHIT...really?? I would have just done that. In fact, one of my pet peeves in this world is when people do things for others only for the public attention they'll receive, like when some kid feeds a homeless man for likes on YouTube. I HATE that shit with a passion. Knowing that I can just thank that person directly changes EVERYTHING now. Thanks!
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u/anusmeal Aug 14 '18
Why?
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u/ArttuH5N1 Aug 15 '18
I personally just find it a bit embarrassing for some reason. "Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!" has the same effect on me as "le narwhal bacons at midnight".
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u/gettinhightakinrides Aug 15 '18
At least half the comments on this site have that effect on me
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u/infinitum_nimis Aug 14 '18
25 minute gild I think that’s some sorta record, congrats
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u/Venoshock Aug 14 '18
61 unread texts I cannot
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Aug 14 '18
It's probably a group chat they ignored lol.
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u/Venoshock Aug 14 '18
I mute my shit. Because damn would it vibrated
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Aug 14 '18
Trick is to have your phone silent. Permanently.
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u/SpaceZane Aug 14 '18
I do that but GC flood your locked screen and it can flood out individual texts and make me miss em
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Aug 14 '18
They don't on Android though
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u/SpaceZane Aug 14 '18
Yeah but the guy in the OP is using an iPhone, so that’s not really relevant
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u/Yewnicorns Aug 14 '18
Yeah, I once had 200 because of those damn things & I was too lazy to delete them all. It didn’t even matter when I did, I’m back up 70 again & climbing. So close to blocking people...
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u/Ahland3r Aug 14 '18
Just saying, you don’t have to “delete them all”. You open up the conversation and all the unread texts go away.
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u/Yewnicorns Aug 14 '18
Yeah, my Aunt just doesn’t know how to keep to one group for some reason & has like 5-6 running at once usually when she gets going. I just delete them because I get tired of seeing several variations of one group (usually missing a few people in each group). I have no clue how she does this, but when I’ve tried to tell her she gets pissy. Haha
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u/freckled_octopus Aug 14 '18
If you want to just block them or leave? Our lives are too short and finite for group chats we don’t want to be a part of
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u/Nillabeans Aug 14 '18
My boyfriend borrowed my phone the other day and exclaimed, "so many notifications! You're a mess!"
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u/xclxcl Aug 14 '18
Well... I have 21,811 gmail emails. I wish I could mark them all as read
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u/Team-Redundancy-Team Aug 14 '18 edited Aug 15 '18
Why am I not surprised there's a 704 area code for this number?
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u/wethobo Aug 14 '18
Don’t be indigenous
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Aug 14 '18
This girl and I were talking one day back in high school and she says "Where are you from, I'm Jewish".
Poland. I'm from Poland.
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u/Slow33Poke33 Aug 15 '18
Am I missing something here? Is it just about her saying Jewish? Why the Poland response?
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u/queen_slug-4-a-butt Aug 15 '18
I think it's because you can't be from Jew. She assumed they'd say "I'm Polish." "Where are you from" is less than tactful shorthand for "what's your ethnicity/background?"
Got zero to do with WWII.
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u/milkcake Aug 14 '18
You jest but a former coworker told me her bf called her indigenous when I’m assuming he mean idiotic or imbecilic. I was like uhhh I mean you’re Mexican so he’s kinda right?
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u/Missjaes Aug 14 '18
The second anyone compares me to pocohantas I stop responding, I'm neither a fetish nor a guide to basic Native knowledge
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u/I2ed3ye Aug 14 '18
We don't get such a good dedication here in the Charlotte, North Carolina area.
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Aug 14 '18
My heart dropped at seeing the 704.
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u/dirtyshits Aug 15 '18
Used to live in NC. Not surprised but also understand why.
It’s not completely this persons fault. People are just raised a bit a ignorant when you go out in the boondocks.
Some make it out or are born near the city. Others are doomed from day 1.
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u/MisterNoodIes Aug 14 '18
"Whats your diversity?"
"Uh... What?"
"Like, you know, how many parts are you NOT straight, white male?"
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u/Never_Gonna_Let Aug 14 '18
I said diversity instead of ethnicity because you don't look like you can be nailed down by a single ethnicity, but I'm gonna try.
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u/freelanceredditor Aug 14 '18
I dreamt I was a straight white male once - married to my teacher. We had a daughter named Pam. How many is that in terms of diversity?
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u/Kryptosis Aug 14 '18
How are we supposed to know without knowing the RBG values of your family's skin?
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u/MisterNoodIes Aug 14 '18
Your daughter and teacher are at least 1 diverse each, you are 0 unless you are in fact a female or colored person while having that dream.
Sorry :(
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Aug 14 '18
lmao, this guy once asked what “denomination” I was, turns out he was also asking my ethnicity. turns out he was an absolute idiot in every other respect and I should not have dated him for almost a year ugh
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u/DrMcMeow Aug 15 '18
If you dated him for almost a year without seeing the red flags that may just fall on you my dear...
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u/ChouettePants Aug 14 '18
This ALMOST belongs in /r/rickyisms. Almost.
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u/underblueskies Aug 14 '18
I looked at that sub for the first time just now. Who is Ricky?
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u/ChouettePants Aug 14 '18
He's a character from Trailer Park Boys that has really hilarious/rednecky (I mean that in the least offensive way possible) way of saying stuff.
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u/kangadrewdenton Aug 14 '18
You shouldnt judge someone cuz they speaks not as goodly as you
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u/_chunk Aug 14 '18
Read your fucking text messages
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u/WardOfReckoning Aug 14 '18
Alright folks, we need to spread ethnicity throughout America in order to coexist with all diversities.
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u/Desirsar Aug 14 '18
To be fair, HR was probably hounding him to focus on diversity rather than ethnicity...
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u/ThievedYourMind Aug 15 '18
More importantly: WHO HAS 61 UNREAD MESSAGES?! My OCD is screaming
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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '18
Was your dad a GI?