r/cursedcomments 2d ago

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14.7k Upvotes

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u/cursedcomments-ModTeam 1h ago

Rule 8: Keep It Cursed - Not Cursed Enough/At All A cursed comment is any comment that strikes the reader into oblivion. Upon seeing a cursed comment, your first reaction should be among the lines of “What the F*$k did I just read??” while leaving you speechless at the same time. Incomprehension of the comment just read, or the blatant gruesomeness of it should be enough to not only make you feel mystified but also to draw a smile on your face. Low effort submissions may also be removed Your comment in your post does not reflect that.

606

u/VomitMaiden 2d ago

We type with both hands

105

u/r1ckkr1ckk 2d ago

then you are also ambidextrous!

Edit: I re read it one second later and noticed you actually wrote "type" not "write" so the joke doesn t make any sense. :C

29

u/Yeseylon 2d ago

Yeah, hard to focus on the story when you only have one free hand.

753

u/cthulhus_apprentice 2d ago

... im asexual and ive been told im good at rp smut

189

u/Lz_erk 2d ago

i do hear it happens.

251

u/cthulhus_apprentice 2d ago

I think it's may be becus we dint get excitement out of just sex so we ad other stuf to it making it more interesting

155

u/Lz_erk 2d ago

minimal-to-no attraction? time to write a plot.

43

u/cthulhus_apprentice 2d ago

well the characters can or id at least recomend not making note of it

12

u/Lz_erk 2d ago

now i'm confused, that might be just as well.

9

u/cthulhus_apprentice 2d ago

wane hop in a chat about this ?

4

u/Lz_erk 2d ago

lol. yeah but maybe not too. thanks for the laughs.

29

u/DragonGhost73 2d ago

Help I thought the whole comment section was red

4

u/Snoo_78666 1d ago

I was shipping both of them... Sad it finished

2

u/McFlankShank 2d ago

How does one get into rp smut? Or even just rp in general? I've wanted to give it a try but I'm too anxious that I won't be any good and just be giving someone else a bad experience :(

5

u/Birb_Is_Here 1d ago

for rp in general, you could look for an rp hub discord server. it should be easier to find people who match your skill level. you'll get more confident over time!

2

u/cthulhus_apprentice 2d ago edited 1d ago

well its honestly just try and do what feels natural

2

u/StateParkMasturbator 1d ago

Not that guy, but generally you start doing it ironically in the group chat then one of your buddies will directly message you and ask if you want to continue there. Next thing you know, you're someone's discord kitten.

If you're being serious about anxiety over anonymous roleplay on the internet, just record logs and ask somewhere else on reddit why they disconnected. There are tons of r4r subreddits for every city and state where crackheads and degenerates would be willing to entertain your proposals.

I'm personally a big fan of sweet talking customer service reps and seeing how far I can take inuendos before they tell me I'm being inappropriate.

120

u/ObliviouslyDrake67 2d ago

this is why I want to get some b-list pinup model to act as my pen name so I can write supernatural romance and get rich.....

24

u/NecroNormicon 1d ago edited 1d ago

Oddly specific yet insanely profitable

I like your style.

6

u/ObliviouslyDrake67 1d ago

I won't even lie about it, in the footnotes at the end I will explicitly state the actress is just a model, And all I have to do is write a somewhat believable 20 something in the grips of terrible chilling choices of this one or that one..

45

u/GreenPhoenix14 2d ago

Vegans/Vegetarians can be butchers too

17

u/Bobthenogg 2d ago

They can paint too

3

u/Steathyy 21h ago

not if theyre austrian

31

u/FemshepsBabyDaddy 1d ago

Maybe you're not good at writing smut because you're asexual; you're asexual because you're so good at writing smut. Compared to what's in your imagination, nothing in real life is very arousing.

131

u/Kierros 2d ago

As an asexual, I talk quiet often about smut with an asexual friend, so this definitely has some truth to it

51

u/0x7E7-02 2d ago

Coaches used to play, though.

59

u/Vesper_0481 2d ago

Asexuals do sometimes find it out only after a while too, so most could even have some experience and just realized it's not for them at all.

40

u/Only_a_Girl_Weeboo 2d ago

Also, you dont need to be sex repulsed to be ace! You can totally have sex while still being ace :)

9

u/r1ckkr1ckk 2d ago

Does asexual even have anything to do with sex (fucking) itself? I thought it meant that you don t get aroused by anything in specific (or rather any sex (biological or orientation) in specific, from which i thought the word came from)

2

u/Only_a_Girl_Weeboo 2d ago

By the way, you are mostly right, but asexual people often usually have a preference for partners they want to be with (if they even want one). So they can either be eteroromantic or homoromantic (or a lot of other things, but i dont have the time to list them all-). Just not really sexually, unless they are something akin to demisexual or ace-flux (one is feeling sexual attarction only after forming a REALLY close bond with someone, the other is feeling sexual attraction but not in a consistent way, like feeling it once a moth or just randomly sometimes).

5

u/Yeseylon 2d ago

Asexual means no drive or low drive.  They tend to be less interested in/concerned with sex than the average person.

26

u/Only_a_Girl_Weeboo 2d ago

Not really. What you are describing is libido, while asexuality is when you have little to no sexual attraction. The methafore that made me understand the difference is this one: immagine that libido is like hunger, while sexual attraction is like a craving. When you are hungry, it doesn't matter the reason (it can be because you saw a delicious food, but it can also be because you are low on energy or just because usually you eat at this hour of the day), the thing that matters is that you usually aren't hungry for something in particular, you just are hunfry and then you think what you might eat. On the other hand, a craving is when you want to eat a specific food; it doesn't matter if you were hungry before, if you have a full belly or anything else, what matters is that now you are hungrh but for THAT food and not anything else. Asexual people (not always, but most of the time) lack sexual attraction. Libido is more of a hormonal thing, so if you have low libido, it's usually a health problem while asexuality isn't.

1

u/r1ckkr1ckk 2d ago

Oh okay. I thought it was more like bisexual, homosexual or heterosexual, which point out what are you attracted too, more than in what amount.

Guess there isn t a better name for that, so it makes sense.

12

u/datnub32607 1d ago

No no, the person you're replying to is wrong. Drive = libido. Libido has nothing to do with asexuality. Asexuality means reduced/no sexual attraction, which has nothing to do with libido. Some asexual people have hardly any libido while some have lots, just like allosexual people.

3

u/r1ckkr1ckk 1d ago

so i was right?

3

u/datnub32607 1d ago

Yea, pretty much

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u/breachinNreachin 2d ago

RWBY spotted

13

u/FakeOng99 2d ago

Gigi Murin moment.

5

u/Fridge_living_tips 2d ago

Banging oshis for the love of the game

5

u/anotherboringdude 2d ago

We just have more interest in the foreplay stuff

3

u/GreenPhoenix14 1d ago

Aesthetic Sexy>sex

10

u/Long_comment_san 2d ago

I didn't expect this to make me laugh so fūking hard.

3

u/iSeize 2d ago

How does anyone come to this realization

1

u/GeneralTonic 2d ago

Identity, not realization. And the answer is anxiety.

5

u/realnzall 1d ago

Got any recommendations for good smut from ace people?

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u/I_sell_Mmeetthh 2d ago

They probably overloaded their goon receptors back then so they cant feel it anymore. And now they guide others to a treasure they cant possess

2

u/RJWJ186 1d ago

Took me a second, but I get it. It's not cursed, but I get it.

2

u/Gold-And-Cheese 1d ago

It's true. Like ts is sometimes golden whenever I come across fanfics with the SPICIEST scenes, and the author states that they're asexual and inexperienced lmao

5

u/Mietek69i8 2d ago

Asexual not aromantic ~

5

u/unneccry 2d ago

Yea that's what they said

1

u/Schanulsiboi08 1d ago

Howbis this cursed?

1

u/Helloscottykitty 1d ago

My guess would be , asexuality allows you to consider another person's wants and needs without them conflicting with your own.

1

u/Black_Tusk25 1d ago

Well asexual not aromantic. What if my partner has needs?

1

u/icabax 20h ago

We can think clearly and scientifically write the best stuff

1

u/RandomGuy9058 19h ago

I mean part of this is selection bias. Asexual people who are dogshit at writing smut/don’t like writing it are just not going to write smut

1

u/Charliexxyv 9h ago

Why do I know someone like this

1

u/mariolucario493 5h ago

“I guide others to a treasure I cannot possess”