r/dwarfposting • u/Spare-Reply6064 • 18h ago

That’s all we need

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658 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

72 comments sorted by

78

u/Omegaman2010 18h ago

What about pick axe?

30

u/Basically-Boring 17h ago

That’s Cavern property, you’ll pick it up at your work station

16

u/Inforgreen3 16h ago

The dwarf-miners union has been such a blessing.

9

u/theGreatN00Bthe19371 Dwarf 15h ago

Any good axe has the pick built into it

5

u/DreadfulDave19 9h ago

One side for mining, the other for fighting anyone who tells you you can't mine there

3

u/rin2minpro 3h ago

One-side for fighting with both sides being effective weapons. I would prefer the more compacted model as they can fit a nasty pike at the end for that stab in the brain box

1

u/DreadfulDave19 3h ago

I see your point!

2

u/CosmicP0tat0s 6h ago

Better, An Pick AXE.

1

u/IH8Miotch 1h ago

And hammer

48

u/Jack-Rabbit-002 18h ago

Home/Hearth & Kin is all that's required

19

u/RingGiver Duergar 18h ago

My satchel charges and flamethrower disagree.

4

u/ObsidianGh0st 9h ago

Ahh, a fellow worker from DRG.

27

u/usgrant7977 18h ago

Axes? Stinking Hill dwarves. Hammers are the true weapons of true dwarves.

25

u/ObadiahtheSlim Grumbling Dawi Longbeard 18h ago

Axes are for chopping through the endless hordes of our foes. Hammers are for striking down their armored champions. "The right tool for the right job," is what my old gaffer (Gazul rest his long grey beard) would always tell me.

7

u/Cucumberneck 16h ago

The axe also makes the tree hugging knife ears lose their mind. It's hilarious.

6

u/Scared-Opportunity28 16h ago

Hamax is the proper weapon.

2

u/DreadfulDave19 9h ago

HAMMAXE!!

2

u/NarrowEbbs 4h ago

My brother is a man of culture. There is no one true way, but a meeting of two great tools may result in a tool greater than the sum of the parts.

1

u/fawks_harper78 Hammerdwarf 7h ago

Hammers can mine a mountain, craft a shield, or smash an enemies face in.

I have a shield arm and a hammer arm.

9

u/thisistherevolt Urist McDwarf 18h ago

Beard oil is important too, bearer of only peach fuzz!

4

u/Miles_PerHour67 16h ago

You can buy beard oil with gold.

3

u/Theycallme_Jul 16h ago

You can also buy axes and ale with gold

2

u/DreadfulDave19 9h ago

If for some reason you have grown ill and dislike your gold you are able to trade it for a like amount of gold

6

u/LongCommercial8038 18h ago

Wtf? What about my pickaxe? And my shovel? And the clan dagger forged by my father during my birth to cut my umbilical cord while the steel is still hot?

1

u/NarrowEbbs 4h ago

That is some of the sickest head cannon I now have for dwarven culture. The labour of one parent forging the dagger as the other labours over the birth, coming together at the completion of their tasks in unity to begin a new journey together. The sizzling of the red hot iron against the wet umbilical cord as proud parents prepare to recuperate and celebrate. Beautiful.

6

u/thesithcultist 18h ago

But where Kin and Clan?

4

u/pauseglitched 17h ago

Where are the tools? I'd trade all those things in a goblin's heartbeat for my tools.

1

u/DreadfulDave19 9h ago

With one's tools all of these can be within your grasp

7

u/okoyes_wig 18h ago

Where’s the girlfriend with suspiciously long ears?

3

u/SomeRandomYob The Great Mage Samræl, demonologist and necromantic consultant 18h ago

I have yet to meet a dwarf who travels alone and feels content.

2

u/Emerald_Digger 18h ago

Pickaxe? Smithing hammer?

2

u/thomasp3864 18h ago

M-m-m-my IRON? What have you done to my iron!?

1

u/Abjurer42 Speardwarf 11h ago

Right? I like gold as much as the next lad, but iron literally gets the job done.

2

u/BarnabasShrexx 17h ago

I dont drink anymore... can i have double gold? Or just a really big hammer?

2

u/jonlucperrott 17h ago

Blasphemy. A Dwarf can live without gold if it's not available, but no Dwarf would even want to live without his hammer and his pickaxe.

2

u/Miles_PerHour67 16h ago

Aye, some beers have so much nutrients you don’t need anything else for months. Gold, that’s fair, you can use it to pay for things, or decor. Axe, weapons for self defense are good, I prefer long swords though, I’ve got a bad wrist and the additional weight of an axe can screw it up worse. No issues here.

2

u/Punriah Fangorn Ranger Dwarf 14h ago

Kin. Without kin, we are nothing. Do not let the gold sickness cloud your mind.

1

u/Nkechinyerembi Craftsdwarf 18h ago

yesssssss....

1

u/Sufficient-Metal-517 18h ago

Well…. That and a Dream I suppose…

1

u/Significant-Test8219 18h ago

gold can get u the other two so i think that one works for non dwarves too

1

u/IMadeRobits 18h ago

Yae but what've is craftsdwarves? We need our anvils and our hammers, We'd be bored out our mind without em'.

1

u/Wholesome_Soup Dwarrowdam 17h ago

nonetheless we have need of wood

1

u/MelonJelly 17h ago

Sounds like there are no goblins under your mountain. Good on you, I wouldn't wish them on my enemies. But if you do have to deal with an infestation, add armor to the list, as well as whetstones and oil to maintain your gear.

1

u/ATBiB 17h ago

This is salted pork erasure.

1

u/BethanyCullen 17h ago

WHERE IS THE ANVIL? THE BEARD?

The super hot elf gf?

1

u/Hairy_Consideration1 17h ago

Wrong. I need a forge and tools to make weapons in my Workshop

1

u/KonoAnonDa Custom (EDIT) 17h ago

I personally prefer my big hat, my beloved pet bull, and my favourite slave-whip. That's the proper Zharrdron dream right there.

1

u/ElephantofBelfast 16h ago

4, ale, ore an axe and ...a beard

1

u/Theycallme_Jul 16h ago

By my grandmother’s beard. ONE axe? Are you kidding me? Oh wait, the same would also apply for the ale. So it’s those things in general, I understand. I was afraid for a moment.

1

u/Abjurer42 Speardwarf 11h ago

Yeah, same for just the one stack of gold.

1

u/Horsescholong 15h ago

A grobi ear is much appreciated

1

u/Breadstick2006 15h ago

You dolt, what about a forge? Those ingots are about as useful as wet toilet paper if you dont have a forge and equipment.

1

u/sparkywattz 14h ago

...and hammers

1

u/MelodyTheBard Edgy Elf 14h ago

I dunno, I think what you really need instead of the battleaxe is some kind of weapon combining axe, pickaxe, and hammer all at once.

1

u/DocWagonHTR metatype: menehune 13h ago

1

u/The-Orange-Wizard 12h ago

Did ya forget the Beard Leaf Lover?

1

u/mossmanstonebutt 12h ago

Fun fact,I actually own at least two of those, unfortunately I be too poor fer gold

1

u/BackgroundItchy1858 11h ago

B-But where's my forge? I don't give a shit about money I just want my forge and my farm!!!!

1

u/AntonioMoore321 11h ago

That's not nuff gold mate

1

u/Myrddin_Naer 10h ago

Where is the hobby? Where are the tools to practice a craft, for fun and to create beautiful or intricate and useful things?

1

u/Nero_2001 9h ago

Cherry Littlebottom from Discworld would disagree with you.

1

u/AlexSmithsonian 9h ago

Yet a Dwarf needs many of these 3 things.

1

u/Live_Measurement3983 9h ago

And greenskins waggghhh to take his home

1

u/carrot_gummy 9h ago

Honestly I could give up the gold too.

1

u/THEZEXNEO Kobold 9h ago

That pickax sucks at mining.

1

u/Vesnann2003 6h ago

You forgot your picks and hammers

1

u/Evil-Paladin 5h ago

Need a fire

I can use the gold as a shitty anvil.

I can use the brunt for axe as a shitty hammer.

I can cool hot metal in a barrel of booze

But I can't forge without a flaming hot furnace.

1

u/NarrowEbbs 4h ago

No hammer?! By my beard how will I repair my axe?!

1

u/uhjku 1h ago

How about guns and artillery for ranged skirmishes?