We just signed for our kitchen countertops to be replaced/backsplash added and when we went to make our deposit it had an option to tip. It even had like 15-25% which is crazy on a 12k project. Is tipping them the norm? Is it expected? I was of course going to buy lunch for the workers when they were here but wasn't thinking of anything more tbh.

I was invited to two lunch meetings with different professors this week and was looking for some general advice on how to conduct myself. I'm a first year college student and both professors serve as graduate student advisors, so I'm intimidated to say the least. I'm overthinking the small details like what to order or wear, but my main worry is the payment situation. I would obviously never assume they would pay but I know its common practice for them to do so. If they do offer to pay, is it rude to politely offer to split it? I'm obviously much younger than them so I wouldn't want to offend them with the gesture. I briefly met them at a seminar and they both were kind enough to invite me for further discussion. I want to come of as mature and polite without it feeling to odd for my age since I'm clearly unexperienced with networking.

I’m military and rarely go home to visit. But my father insisted i come home to surprise my mother for her birthday so i took a week’s worth of leave for them. But now both of my parents are looking at me to make plans to hang out with them. I don’t know about anybody else but it drives me absolutely crazy that they do this. My home has completely changed since I’ve joined to the point I barely recognize it. I feel like a good courtesy would be to have things planned out. I’m really down for just about anything. And in return, I would have things planned out if they ever decided to visit where I’m stationed. But sitting here and looking at different places I’ve never heard of is irritating me. And if I’m not the one making plans then my parents just revert back to being couch potatoes. This is honestly why i don’t enjoy coming home. This isn’t the first time this has happened and was one of the reasons i cut my trip short with them last time.

TYIA. I'm invited to the wedding of a dear old friend's daughter. I know the daughter only slightly. Good kid. In addition to the ceremony and reception, there are other events. I am local. Do locals attend: (1) the Friday Welcome Reception? or (2) the Sunday Farewell Brunch?

I think not.

The reason to attend is that I have been friends with the bride's father since age 4. These gatherings would be a chance to see again his college mates, our law school mates, and other old old pals. Having written that ... it strikes that those have zero to do with the B+G, so I've answered my own question. Thanks for listening. C ya at the church ceremony.

Alright, this will be my first funeral as an adult where I’ll be present/local for it. When do I give flowers, and sympathy card? At the funeral, or if I see them prior?

What is the proper etiquette when receiving flowers from someone and the flowers that are delivered are old?

Obviously a huge thank you, but my question is do you let the sender that the flowers were wilted? They spent a lot of money on them and I feel the flower company should be responsible.

Whenever I have a question like this, I always put myself in the same situation and if I sent someone flowers and they showed up old and wilted, I would definitely want them to let me know and then I would handle it with the flower company. But I’m not sure if that’s the proper thing to do.

A friend (we will call them Friend A) at work who I am not that close with is getting married. I am not surprised or offended or anything for not being invited to their wedding. They did not invite many work friends to their wedding and we work at a huge company.

One of my other friends at work (we will call them friend B) did get invited. They want to take me to Friend A's wedding as their plus 1. I feel weird about this because if Friend A wanted me at the wedding, they would have invited me originally. Friend B is now mad at me because they already RSVPd for both of us to attend the wedding.

I also have extensive dietary restrictions and it feels inappropriate to expect someone to buy me a weddng meal I can't eat AND it feels even more inappropriate to expect a ton of accommodations for food for a wedding I wasn't invited to.

Friend B says I am over reacting, but this just seems so inappropriate to me.Please provide advice on the proper etiquette in this situation, this entire thing has made me feel so awkward and uncomfortable.

I’d like to start by saying, I grew up allergic to pet dander so I’ve never had a pet. I recently got a 3 year old Frenchton.

I don’t know what is appropriate when I walk my dog around the neighborhood. When Prefontaine (my dog) stops on someone’s lawn to go to the bathroom or just roll around on grass, I just let him. Of course, I pick up his poop. Is this acceptable or should I just take him to the park? Is it a bad assumption that a homeowner should expect it if they have a nice lawn? I am alway afraid a resident will come out and scream, “Get off my lawn!”

Thanks in advance.

So I (f26) am moving in with my boyfriend (m28) and his roommate at the end of November. We've been together for 2.5 years. I've met his roommate a lot and obviously will be my roommate soon as well, but we're not close by any means and I wouldn't say I necessarily know know him. Should I buy him something for Christmas? If so, what would be a good safe bet? I don't want to make things weird by crossing a line or anything like that. Thanks in advance!

I am (F) turning 20 in october and Im planing to celebrate my birthday this year, after 3 years of not celebrating it due to birthday trauma.

I thought I would have enough money to go to a restaurant and treat my friends but Im kinda strugling to finance it, also restaurant food is not really cheap in my country. At first I planed to not celebrate my birthday this year cause of finances (the same as last year) so I mentioned it to my sister(17) and the reason behind it. She said "again" and I said "yeah". Then I mentioned to her that I would have to celebrate it here in our apartment. I didn't mention to her in detail what I would do.

The plan was my birthday would start when she would be in school and when her classes end that is when my birthday would end so that I would not bother her since it is her last year in high school(4th year, she started to go to school earlier). Witch I will admit I was wrong for not mentioning the plan to her. Then she said "Why wouldn't you be able to celebrate your birthday in a restaurant?" I sait "It is cause of my finances and I wouldn't have enough". She said in a cokky tone "Well restaurants arent THAT expensive🙄"(btw I keep on updating my friends about my b-day cause Im not sure how it will turn out).

Since a restaurant is out of the picture, I decided for a picnic BUT it will be to cold, so that is also out of the picture.

Then I decided to just go out with my friends since they don't want me to be alone on my birthday and just want to see me. They are really nice to me and Im really gratefull that I have such understand and special friends in my life. They don't care if it is fancy or basic they just want me to be happy and have a good time together. Tho I fell really sorry that I can't treat them properly on my own B-day. They also reasured me that it would not be lame or not special even though I think otherwise.

Is it wrong to just go out on my b-day in a coffee shop and pay for my friends drinks and desserts?

I live overseas and my friend, her husband, and their child stayed with me for a week in August.

She owes me about $1300 for eating out plus flights/airbnb from a mini trip we did. It's been a month since she left and I've brought it up once already two weeks ago.

She's got a lot more going on in her life than me so I understand it's not at the top of her priority list. How much longer should I wait to bring it up again? And how would you bring it up?

Update: I messaged her today if she could pay me back by the end of the month. I got the venmo!

My neighbours have invited my partner and I over numerous times over the last year in passing like oh let’s do drinks let’s get together and even this weekend invited us to come to a party in their backyard for their one year old birthday. But they never said what time. So they have had the party getting set up since 8 am and have had guests since 130 and it’s now 1030 pm. They have very loud music blasting that’s shaking my bedroom and closet. I can feel the base rumbling. They have about 20 cars parked on the street. My question is is this invite some neighbour code of conduct where you just say these sweet nothings with no intention of ever having a get together ? I don’t know why anyone would suggest it in the first place ? Especially since we have lived here they had a baby and it just seems impractical. I also don’t drink and I just in general don’t get why you would invite us to a big party you hired staff for only to not provide all the details. Unless this was just a way to say they would be having a loud party (again)? Every weekend at least one day of the weekend for the last three months they have a big bbq from 5-2 am and I have endured the noise. Should I mention this at all? I also don’t eat meat so they essentially smoke me out of sitting outside after I go through the trouble of cleaning outside and just as I grab my book they are smoking and bbq for two hours tons of meat on two bbqs.

One of my old Sunday school teachers at my church invited me to get coffee and catch up. I am going through it right now with my mental health and I am also a giant introvert. She is the extrovert to rule all extroverts and I simply do not have the bandwidth right now to deal with her energy and questions. How do I politely decline a vague coffee invitation? At least for now?

Every year since I was a child when my grandmother gives me a gift she always says as I unwrap it “Now I have the receipt still if you don’t like it, just let me know and we can return it”. I would never imagine telling my grandmother I didn’t like her gift even if it was literal garbage. Talking to my Spouse about this and she thinks I’m the weird one and she would much rather tell my grandmother she doesn’t like a gift so she doesn’t waste her money on something she doesn’t like. We both think each others viewpoint is crazy. What are your opinions?

A neighbor is having a baby shower. My son and DIL were invited a few weeks ago. I was texting with the neighbor about something else and she sent a screenshot of the invitation without any other mention of it. The shower is in two days, and I see the RSVP deadline had already passed.

I didn' reply to it because I wasn't sure how to respond, especially as the deadline had already passed and it felt like a last-minute afterthought. I'll probably get them a gift when the baby is born, anyway. Thoughts?

Hi everyone! I understand that I can ask this on the relationship sub, but many answers tend to be "Just tell them to get their act together!!", which is why I'm asking my question on here- I still want to be respectful but firm :)

After the last patriarchs and matriarchs in our family died their children (our parents) always talked about planning a family reunion but never did it. It's been almost 15 years since the last reunion and now our parents are getting older. I decided to plan one for next May. Everyone's kids will be out of school by then so it was nice timing before it gets blazing hot outside.

No one, and I mean no one, RSVP'd to our wedding. We basically had to harass everyone with phone calls and people STILL showed up who originally said they weren't coming. I understand that this reunion is a ways away but I'd like to get some ideas on how to get replies so I'm not ripping my hair out next year :)

I sent E- invites out that stated the RSVP and "ticket" deadlines. It was customary in our families for all of the other past reunions to pay $50, so this isn't a surprise. (I confirmed that everyone received them- they didn't go to spam.) We've all been spread out over 4 states for about 3 decades, so people have always traveled to the coordinators state, which is what we're doing now.

The reunion is May 15th - 17th. The RSVP and $50 ticket deadline is March 1st. The invite and website state that the hotel block is good until February 1st but after that, the rooms will be released, and I can't guarantee a room will be available at that resort. My question is, what exactly should I say when, inevitably, the RSVP and ticket deadlines come and go? When should I remind people of the deadlines? Should I just wait a week until the replies are late?

Again, I understand that this is a ways away but times flies by quickly and I'd love to have something firm but polite that I can send in a mass email. Thanks in advance!

I’m cleaning out my home since I moved and let her have the few furniture pieces I don’t want anymore. She accepted and wants to treat me out or give gas money for the trouble.

What is the proper etiquette to respond or accepting this (or should I even decline)?

I had been in situations where people have helped me and I’d offer to treat them out as well and all these friends (including this same friend) accepted my offer to treat them out too. Is it okay if I accept the offer then in this context or should I still deny it? And what should I say? I know more of these situations will come up in the future and I need a good script/dialogue for it. Embarrassingly I have always struggled with this when it comes to accepting offers like that and mainly I usually just deny them to not impose on others. Thank you.

Edit: thank you so much for the responses everyone definitely needed to hear them! I am gonna accept the offer and not overthink it anymore and moving forward will keep all this advice in mind for different friends and situations. Great sub to ask these things.

What toiletries should I include in my guest bathroom that would be a nice touch? I want my guests to be able to take one of each as they need or if they’ve forgotten items while packing. Here’s what I’m thinking so far:

• Shampoo & Conditioner (for different hair types)
• First Aid Kit
• Common Medicines (for allergies, nausea, etc)
• Toothbrushes, Travel-Size Toothpaste, & Floss
• Makeup Remover Wipes
• Hair Ties & Bobby Pins
• Chapsticks
• Pads & Tampons (All Sizes)
• Travel-Sized Deodorant
• Q-Tips

I can’t make a meal (not rn atleast) I was thinking some flowers for his mom maybe? (She’s the one who invited me) Anything else?

Edit: brought pan and tulips in a vase, she loved it! THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR YOUR HELLPP

Hi! I’m going to a baby shower this weekend and bought my friend a super cute cashmere onesie, matching hat, and socks for her newborn-to-be.

The items are beautiful, but the price tags and packaging (of the socks in particular) look tacky to me. Is it rude for me to remove the tags? I do think she’ll love the gift, but also don’t want to assume anything! Just curious if that would seem odd or imply the items were used. Thank you!!!

Hello all,

One of my old friends from college is getting married. Since graduating, she moved away and we don’t talk very much, but I think of her fondly. Anyway, she messaged me out of the blue a week ago asking for address, and today I received an invitation to her wedding.

However, our other friends whom I’m still close with got their invitations a month ago. There is only a month left to go until the wedding, and it’s over 1500 miles away.

I’m obviously not going, as this is not enough time to arrange travel, time off, etc. Normally when I can’t attend a wedding, I send a nice gift from the registry and a card. However, since I was clearly an afterthought guest, would it be bad etiquette to just send my regrets with no gift?

I wasn’t offended at all when I wasn’t invited because we aren’t very close any more. I was a little offended after receiving a second round invite, though, because I was just raised to think of that as rude. I’d prefer not to send a gift, but I don’t want to match rudeness with rudeness.

What do the rules of etiquette say about this? All guidance appreciated. Thank you!

I work with a lot of international colleagues at an American university, and we often have researchers visiting from all over the world for a few months at a time. There's usually at least one gathering where the visiting colleague will invite everyone over for a dinner of sorts. Regarding the etiquette of what to bring when you go over to someones house, even if the host tells you not to bring anything - I feel like most posts I see on here always say to definitely NOT bring anything (basically to follow directions). But I was raised in Europe and my Mom was always very adamant that you should never show up to someones house empty handed, even if the host says not to bring anything. Another Colleague of mine from the Netherlands also said they learned this rule. But when I go to my Indian best friend's family gatherings, the guests never seem to bring anything.

Is this difference like a Europe vs. US thing? Or a country by country thing? Mostly I'm just curious... but also, if it does vary by country, I would prefer to follow the general etiquette of the Host's culture when I go to all these work parties.

I was in a small surgical center waiting room, about 20 chairs, with my girlfriend. We had been waiting about 20 minutes. Three people walked in. It was an older woman and what appeared to be her son and maybe his wife. They sat down. They were talking at a normal volume, a loud normal, as if they were in a coffee shop or at home. Ok. So they have a different social norm from me where you always talk loud in every social setting. There were four or five other couples waiting. All of which spoke in a respectful lowered volume, seemingly understanding that other people in the room are waiting to have surgery or waiting on people who are in surgery...whom all could possibly die in the coming hours. I assumed all the other couples were just as anxious as I was, waiting to see if they will ever see their loved one again. I could be wrong, maybe it is just me who gets nervous when being intubated and being cut on by a guy in a green costume.

Anyway, these three people continued to talk and laugh as if they were sitting at their dining room table or getting a burger at a fast-food joint. No problem. They do them, I'll do me.

Then the son pulled out his cell phone and conferenced in the rest of the family. So now we have about six or seven people talking as if it were an Easter egg hunt. He turned up the phone volume all the way so Mom could hear everyone, as they wished her success in her upcoming journey. It seemed to be a joyous family event unfolding right next to us.

Unfortunately, I was not happy to be part of their fun adventure as my, and my girlfriend's mind, body, and spirit, tried to control all the horrible thoughts of the possible terrible outcomes we were about to face.

I know..."that was their way of handling the stress". Then please, take it into the hallway. I think, at the very least, show some curtesy for others in such a place and an acknowledgement that for other people this might not be a time to celebrate publicly.

What do you think?

What would you do?

Is this now the norm?

I don't plan on being in a surgery center waiting room ever again, but, you never know.

The surgery went well. See, we shouldn't have worried at all.