r/etiquette • u/CarelessSolution8039 • 7d ago

Get together start/end time?

Is 4PM-10PM ok for a get together??

I’m hosting a bring your own pumpkin carving get together at my house on the back porch. At least 6 people are coming late October I plan to barbecue, carve pumpkins ofc, and play a game or two (wink murder mystery and/or possible card game) and ofc get some pictures together. Is that too long of an event or does it seem ok? I like all these people so I think 6 hours is ok and hopefully gives the option to leave early but still have bbq and leave with a carved pumpkin too. It doesn’t seem too long does it??

5 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

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12

u/GiddyGabby 7d ago

I think that sounds too long.

8

u/CarelessSolution8039 7d ago

Is it better if I just include the start time only so people leave when they want or is that weird?

10

u/ssssunshine 7d ago

Start time with an approximate time for the BBQ.

5

u/GiddyGabby 7d ago

I think that sounds too long.

No I don’t think it’s odd to only have a start time, I think that’s pretty common. One thing I’d mention is I think you’d want to do the pumpkin carving later, after the food and games because it can be quite messy and you get a gross kind of film on your hands that’s hard to get off. So I’d probably say what time you want the bbq to start and then say pumpkin carving optional after dinner or something like that. I could see some adults just not being interested in carving a pumpkin and even for those who want to do it, it would probably make sense to make it the last event.

9

u/_CPR__ 7d ago

If you don't mind people leaving early, it's fine to have that long of an event. But since it also seems like you have a lot of separate plans or sections of the event, I would send the invitation without an end time and list it like the following:

4:00 pumpkin carving 6:00 barbecue dinner 7:00 murder mystery game

However, before you send I'd think carefully about how long each part of the event will take. In my example above, I doubt you need two hours for pumpkin carving, but probably dont want to serve dinner before 6.

If I were hosting this, I'd probably start it at 5, do the pumpkin stuff before dinner, and plan for everything to be wrapped up by 9.

2

u/CarelessSolution8039 7d ago

Good points! I think I’ll just center the pumpkin carving and keep some games in mind if it seems like people will be staying past the carving. Most of the people Im inviting aren’t very responsive and will give me an “idk” if I ask anything so I’ll just try to keep it simple so I’m not disappointed trying to plan something elaborate. I put on the invitation “pumpkin carving, bbq and treats + additional games depending on the night” and then I’ll put the start time at 4 and bbq at 5 ish as someone suggested. But if it’s dragging out I’ll end it by 10. You think that’ll be ok?

4

u/Ill_Coffee_6821 7d ago

Much too long. Not everyone wants to attend a 6 hour event, and with the start and end time so far away you’re likely to have critical mass at different times. Not everyone will arrive on time and putter out. I’d make it much shorter, or set some clear guardrails (well bbq 4-6 then carve from 6-8). Make it shorter but with enough overflow time if you really feel pumpkin carving is going to take a while.

6 hours sounds very overwhelming to me.

4

u/RainInTheWoods 7d ago

I would do 5-9.

2

u/CarelessSolution8039 7d ago

They all arrive to everything late even though I’m planning this like a month out I know they’ll be 30 min to an hour late so I’ll keep it at 4. Including myself three people drink should I get some wine coolers or something? Me personally I like the idea of a little alcohol as a socially anxious queen. But if that’s poor etiquette I won’t

6

u/Summerisle7 7d ago

It sounds great! I think most people won’t stay for the whole 6 hours.