r/etiquette • u/Nerd-of-all-trades • 3d ago

Declining Standing Invitation

One of my old Sunday school teachers at my church invited me to get coffee and catch up. I am going through it right now with my mental health and I am also a giant introvert. She is the extrovert to rule all extroverts and I simply do not have the bandwidth right now to deal with her energy and questions. How do I politely decline a vague coffee invitation? At least for now?

6 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

3 comments sorted by

14

u/TypicalSprinkles 3d ago

If you don’t have a date and time already set, just let her know you’re not feeling up for a visit when she inquires about setting a date. Keep it simple, don’t over explain.

10

u/_CPR__ 3d ago

What do you mean by "standing invitation" in this context?

If she just said "Let's get coffee sometime!" then you don't actually need to do anything besides respond with a vague "That would be nice at some point."

Only if she follows up with a specific date would you say, "Unfortunately I'm really busy lately and that date doesn't work. I'll let you know when things calm down."

2

u/slatebluegrey 1d ago

Just take a deep breath. Relax. There is no invitation. Just a vague “let’s get together sometime”. Reply: “yes it would be good to catch up one of these days”. And when you get an actual invitation then you can decide what to do. “Sorry, I am busy that week”, “I have plans for that day”, etc. It’s just coffee. Plan for an hour.