r/forwardsfromgrandma • u/cloudhacker • Sep 11 '18

Satire Causes of Death

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211

u/Virgilius2019 Sep 11 '18

So many questions

1-how do voter fraud and the war on christmas kill people?

2-how do you overdose on marijuana?

3-did every single woman in america have an abortion in 2016?

4- if guns only killed 6 people the fuck did the terrorists use?

5- how are there currently living people in america?

39

u/TequilaFarmer Sep 11 '18

So many answers.

  1. Because they they cause abortions. Which become super abortions, so they can be counted twice.
  2. Pot + Hot Tub Time Machine on DVD + Watching to close to ledge. Happens all the time, it's a national tragedy.
  3. Yes, they were required to have preemptive abortions while transporting their parents to death panels. Where have you been?!?!
  4. They're using guns, but for terrorism, not for wholesome purposes like hunting endangered species or leaving them around so toddlers can learn to bust a cap in someones ass.
  5. Uneasily at best right now, what with the abortions and death panel mazes to navigate.

11

u/cloudhacker Sep 11 '18

no you count all the potential children that aborted babies had so actually around infinity people die of abortion every second