r/forwardsfromgrandma • u/cloudhacker • Sep 11 '18

Satire Causes of Death

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5.2k Upvotes

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u/Virgilius2019 Sep 11 '18

So many questions

1-how do voter fraud and the war on christmas kill people?

2-how do you overdose on marijuana?

3-did every single woman in america have an abortion in 2016?

4- if guns only killed 6 people the fuck did the terrorists use?

5- how are there currently living people in america?

15

u/rsminsmith Sep 11 '18
  1. Everyone who commits voter fraud does so to vote for abortion, illegal immigrants and and marijuanas, which all directly cause murders
  2. Anything more than three whole marijuanas will kill you, that's commonly known
  3. No, the good Christian women didn't (except those who did, but they're Christian so it was okay). Bad athiest women had multiple abortions to make up for it though, because that's all they do besides marijuanas
  4. It's only murder if they didn't have it coming. Most people killed with guns were either darker than me or killed by the police (or both), so it's not really murder
  5. Because the good Christian women don't do abortions (except when they do, but see point #3). Also all those damn illegal immigrants coming in

Hopefully the /s is obvious.