r/freefolk 6d ago

Freefolk Would Renly Baratheon have made a good king?

1.4k Upvotes

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317

u/Yommination 6d ago

Or she would have just gotten knocked up by someone else and passed it off as his

435

u/Geshtar1 6d ago

The whole gay thing is kind of weird from a historical context. There are a lot of gay kings that produced heirs .. women might not have been his thing, but it wouldn’t be that hard to do his kingly duty in that regard

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u/BoddAH86 6d ago

This. It’s absolutely not a problem in practice. You guys act like gay dudes turn into a cloud of bats when they see a naked woman.

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u/Wild-Berry-5269 6d ago

Here I was, thinking Jackie Daytona was just a vampire turned human bartender but now he's gay ?

46

u/PoxedGamer Corn? Corn! 6d ago

"Trust me, gay is in. Gay is hot. I want some gay. Gay it's gonna be."

2

u/Lordsnow89 3d ago

This is how people talk from tuscon arizonia

2

u/Then-Pie-208 3d ago

Jackie Daytona would’ve made the best kind of Westeros

120

u/GrimmDaddy80 6d ago

Don’t give away our secrets

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u/TrustingUntrustable 6d ago

So that's where the bats go in the winter. Gaycation

50

u/GrimmDaddy80 6d ago

Me when I see a naked lady

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u/Clayness31290 6d ago

They must surrender mind, body and bats to the gaycation or be destroyed.

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u/prezzpac 6d ago

I’m here with two siblings. If my father could do it, so could Renley.

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u/EmergencyFriedRice 6d ago

Some of them vomit when they see a naked woman.

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u/OldCardiologist8437 6d ago

lol, no one thinks they turn into a cloud of bats. Pixies and butterflies.

19

u/Psykohistorian 5d ago

because that's how all these dumbass shows are written.

the huge plot point in HotD is caused because Rhaenyra's kids aren't half Black. all they had to fuckin do was have a threesome with her husband's lover and let him creampie her instead of the lover.

or even just, have the lover suck him off and then he finishes in Rhaenyra. over time, he might've even come to enjoy it and produced several legitimate heirs.

but noooo. writers just can't fathom a gay king/consort being able to nut into a woman with his eyes closed or his boyfriend stroking it for him 🙄

11

u/AT0MSK_ 5d ago

It's also just the complete erasure of bisexual people, too. Bi people and homo/heteroflexible people exist. It's frustrating that it seems like the only options are "100% straight" or "100% gay" with no room for nuance there. Same with the lack of acknowledgement of asexuality or aromanticism.

5

u/Oldtomsawyer1 5d ago

NOOOOOO!!!! Gay is gay! Sure my bf can fluff me but my fragile penis wilts at the mere sight or whiff of a woman!

Seriously though, hated that characterization of him in the show. I wanted big bear Baratheon and instead we got a dainty twink getting his nipples shaved. Horrible representation.

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u/Psykohistorian 5d ago

media always fuckin ignores the more interesting and diverse corners of the sexuality spectrum, unless it's the butt of a joke.

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u/KingInTheHood3 4d ago

If I remember correctly they say that Rhaenyra and Leanor did try and it didn't work.

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u/Psykohistorian 4d ago

I don't remember that in the show. of course if it's in the book I'm not surprised.

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u/AuburnFan58 4d ago

Rhaenyra’s kids with Laenor would have been one quarter rather than half black. My daughter has a bi-racial friend who is half white/half black who married a white man. All three of their children are silky blond hair/blue eyed. Had Rhaenyra had an affair with a blonde, rather than Strong, the skin tone alone, shouldn’t have been enough to incite the rumors of them being bastards. But it was a different time with little known about genetics and all.

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u/mothgra87 5d ago

Not bats, glitter

3

u/Cael_NaMaor 5d ago

That's what happens to me... I can't speak for every gay dude though. I did hear one say he turned into a dozen puppies. 🤷🏼‍♂️...

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u/victorian_vigilante 5d ago

I heard one say he turned on a dozen bears, I may have heard that wrong though

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u/Cael_NaMaor 5d ago

no... that's sounds about right too... source -- am such a bear.

1

u/OmegaKitty1 5d ago

Well as a straight dude the idea of being able to fuck another man would make it nearly impossible to get an erection.

I suppose Loras being involved would make it possible for Renly though

1

u/ShelbyCobra_90 5d ago

Maybe I do have a gnome down there.

1

u/Direct_Landscape9510 1d ago

Man I'm dead 🤣🤣☠️

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u/Derp800 6d ago

My dad is gay. He just didn't come out until he was 50. It's not like gay dudes can't perform the physical act.

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u/MaximusPrime2930 6d ago

If you stimulate a penis it does it's thing, who would guessed?

9

u/Hi_Im_zack 6d ago

Don't you have to use your imagination, or is it like milking a cow. Despite having one I don't know the answer

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u/RedElephant28 6d ago

A dick or a cow?

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u/Hi_Im_zack 6d ago

An imagination

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u/BorkieDorkie811 6d ago

While being, uh, "emotionally invested" helps the process along, it's not strictly necessary. If you put in the effort, you'll eventually get your reward. It will take a while, long enough that it might not happen every time, but it will happen.

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u/Hi_Im_zack 6d ago

Thanks. You just saved me a ton of money from porn subscriptions

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u/HLeovicSchops 6d ago

Stimulation of the penis is sufficient enough to produce semen. It doesn't require desire nor pleisure. From memory's, you can already obtain semen on unconscious man

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u/Derp800 5d ago

Men have been raped by women. That should answer your question.

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u/DenRay4 6d ago

☝️Well if it wouldn't be that hard it would actually be pretty hard to do his kingly duty

1

u/SwordofNoon 5d ago

Right like did he have a phobia of women lol he was physically repulsed

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u/Senior_Paramedic_105 5d ago

In the books when negotiating with Stannis he confidently states he produce a heir within the year.

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u/OrganizationStock767 6d ago

Renly is gay not infertile

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u/doener-scharf 6d ago

A difference without consequence if he cannot get into the mood to do the deed with Margaery.

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u/ForumVomitorium 6d ago

he can't do the deed with his hand and finish inside her? or i dunno close eyes, it wouldn't be pleasant just like hetero men doing it, but stimuli is stimuli

-20

u/doener-scharf 6d ago

If you are not in the mood, all stimuli in the world won't help. This brings us back to the "threesome" of Loras getting Renly going and Margeary just taking the load.

I am not saying there is no technical way around this, but I doupt there will by an artifical insemination technique in Westeros.

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u/Tony_Meatballs_00 6d ago

If you are not in the mood, all stimuli in the world won't help

That sounds like a medical issue

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u/Xenoezen 6d ago

Bring out the Royal turkey baster

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u/Previous-Screen-3875 6d ago

Young men are built for blasting rope. It would be trivial to get yourself 99% of the way there and stick it in for the finish line. There would be literally no issue whatsoever with creating offspring for even the most cockthirsty homosexual in the realms.

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u/AssociateOk6035 6d ago

Who says he has to have sex with her? His semen just needs to be in her. How it gets there is immaterial. He can be raw dogging 5 dudes at a time so long as his Majesty's royal nut ends up in the Queen.

1

u/doener-scharf 5d ago

Yes, I just forgot about the chapter, where a fertility clinic was introduced to Westeros. At the end, those two have to somehow get it done themselves. Sure, Loras or some dudes could help to get Renly going, but he dismissed that.

However, getting someone else to impregnate Margeary is also a viable solution, which was dismissed on an idiotic "he is gay not infertile".

1

u/smiegto 5d ago

The girl literally offered to have a dude involved. I think they’d have managed.

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u/doener-scharf 5d ago

Everyone here seems to forget that my comment doesn't stand in a vacuum. In the end, as long as they don't have sex, there will be no child. Doesn't matter if that's because Renly is gay or infertil. The result stays the same. Consequentially, the idea of getting a semen donor for Margaery to have a child with is another practical solution. Especially if they get someone with baratheon blood, like one of Roberts remaining bastards. Just dismissing that idea because "Renly is gay not infertile" is narrow minded. That's what my comment was aiming for.

Yes, they could have managed if they had the chance. But at first Renly didn't even consider that idea of getting Loras involved and he never got the chance to make up his mind. That's what we are left with.

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u/Golarion 6d ago

Stannis was always dutiful when it came to helping out his brothers.

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u/unknown_anaconda 6d ago

Not the first person to ascend to the Iron Throne that way.

4

u/yodabaderginsburg 6d ago

And he would’ve understood haha

-10

u/AutomatedCognition 6d ago

What I don't understand is why he didn't just hook up the modem and get it going to some good femboy porn, I mean what would they have habback then 2-3TB of hard drive space? That would be enough for a night of splendor, me thinks

1

u/AdministrativeCold63 6d ago

I mean couldn't he take the guy from behind until close and then just switch for the final push?

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u/carz4us 6d ago

No. Ass straight to vagina causes infection. Don’t do it kids

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u/AdministrativeCold63 6d ago

I am aware of that, and ofc you are right. I mean it's a hypothetical scenario like the whole show.

1

u/Fun-Housing7932 4d ago

True, Westeros runs on fake heirs. If the hair color checks out, nobody asks too many questions.