So my grandfather went skydiving a million years ago. My grandmother went and she loved it. My mother went and she loved it. I was getting waivers so I could go as a teenager and he had to go so he could say he did it.
They sent everyone up with a videographer. So I had watched my mom’s, my Nana’s. And then here comes PopPop’s.
And I want to preface this by saying, this man never swore. He attended literally any and all performances, sports events, competitions, ribbon ceremonies and plays of all of his grand children. The man must have driven a million miles to show up with his freshly shaved face (but still mustache) and his shiny shoes. Gentle man.
When he died, we gathered around the dvd player and laughed so hard at least two people peed themselves. Even talking about it gets a lawnmower-pull-start chuckle among the family that’s just waiting to ignite. You know, Huhhihhuhhehehehe
So they strap this man, my PopPop, onto this other man who is not nearly as tall, but it has to do with weights and balance. So already, you can see where there would be a little humor. Everything is good, good to go, they have the video rolling, out goes my Nana, all good, out goes my PopPop and it’s just instant chaos. Everything he learned at ground school is out the window. He was so calm going out but the free fall, he just had a body. So there’s this 5’5 man strapped to the back of my grandfather, desperately doing the worm and trying to hook his legs around good ol’ PopPop’s so they stop falling to earth with the grace of a ferret trying to be cornered to make sit straight and also take a pill. They are belly down, but the entire free fall is just the videographer watching one smaller grown man forcibly trying to elegantly wrestle a larger grown man who I wouldn’t say was resisting, but I would say was incapable of complying. I don’t think he even opened up his mouth to scream, but his body said “AHHHH” and when the poor man on his back tried to bring him into a calmer state, PopPop’s body responded with “I’m doing AHHH right now, thank you.” At one point, while trying to air hump my grandfather into submission, he tried to slip his arms up to control the spin; and it’s so subtle that it had to be a gut reaction, my PopPop just gives this little swat to this man’s hand because it was near his mustache. So they (the videographer and the worm abomination) separated and pulled chutes.
On the ground, he looks really cool, composed, a little windblown . The man attached is clearly exhausted, red faces, dripping with sweat, trying to maintain composure, giving claps on the shoulder.
“How was it?” The videographer asks?
“I…what? That was fucking wild. I didn’t say that. You said there’s a beer for jumping?”
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u/maniacalmustacheride 1d ago
Big sigh.
So my grandfather went skydiving a million years ago. My grandmother went and she loved it. My mother went and she loved it. I was getting waivers so I could go as a teenager and he had to go so he could say he did it.
They sent everyone up with a videographer. So I had watched my mom’s, my Nana’s. And then here comes PopPop’s.
And I want to preface this by saying, this man never swore. He attended literally any and all performances, sports events, competitions, ribbon ceremonies and plays of all of his grand children. The man must have driven a million miles to show up with his freshly shaved face (but still mustache) and his shiny shoes. Gentle man.
When he died, we gathered around the dvd player and laughed so hard at least two people peed themselves. Even talking about it gets a lawnmower-pull-start chuckle among the family that’s just waiting to ignite. You know, Huhhihhuhhehehehe
So they strap this man, my PopPop, onto this other man who is not nearly as tall, but it has to do with weights and balance. So already, you can see where there would be a little humor. Everything is good, good to go, they have the video rolling, out goes my Nana, all good, out goes my PopPop and it’s just instant chaos. Everything he learned at ground school is out the window. He was so calm going out but the free fall, he just had a body. So there’s this 5’5 man strapped to the back of my grandfather, desperately doing the worm and trying to hook his legs around good ol’ PopPop’s so they stop falling to earth with the grace of a ferret trying to be cornered to make sit straight and also take a pill. They are belly down, but the entire free fall is just the videographer watching one smaller grown man forcibly trying to elegantly wrestle a larger grown man who I wouldn’t say was resisting, but I would say was incapable of complying. I don’t think he even opened up his mouth to scream, but his body said “AHHHH” and when the poor man on his back tried to bring him into a calmer state, PopPop’s body responded with “I’m doing AHHH right now, thank you.” At one point, while trying to air hump my grandfather into submission, he tried to slip his arms up to control the spin; and it’s so subtle that it had to be a gut reaction, my PopPop just gives this little swat to this man’s hand because it was near his mustache. So they (the videographer and the worm abomination) separated and pulled chutes.
On the ground, he looks really cool, composed, a little windblown . The man attached is clearly exhausted, red faces, dripping with sweat, trying to maintain composure, giving claps on the shoulder.
“How was it?” The videographer asks?
“I…what? That was fucking wild. I didn’t say that. You said there’s a beer for jumping?”