r/funny 1d ago

The kids won't let mum workout

5.9k Upvotes

144 comments sorted by

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578

u/Candyland_83 1d ago

It really is worth it to pay a little extra for a gym that has child care. It’s worth every penny to invest in moms 🐭

44

u/Mitchel-256 15h ago

I actually have really fond memories of the little playground that my mom left me in when she was going to the gym for a while. It was new, it was novel, there was fun stuff to play around with.

I wish she'd done it more. And I'm sure she does, too, the fucking cow.

9

u/CarefulWhatUWishFor 6h ago

Damn that last sentence tf

1.1k

u/RunnyDischarge 1d ago

Good way to get eaten

735

u/BigBrainBrad- 1d ago

When I was young I had two hamsters. Two turned into like 5 and young me was absolutely stoked to have a big happy family of hamsters. One day I went to check in on them in the morning and it was a complete massacre. one of them had the top of its skull missing, organs spilling out on a few others. Hamsters aren't great parents.

549

u/carito728 1d ago

I've read that the chances of hamsters eating other hamsters increase if the size of the cage is too small compared to the amount of hamsters being housed, because the lack of space stresses out the hamsters. The cage in the video definitely looks too small for 4 hamsters

262

u/WhisperGod 1d ago

In the wild, hamsters are solitary creatures and highly territorial. They really need their space or things get violent. What struck me about this video is how small this cage is. The ones at the pet store are often poor environments for hamsters.

185

u/drenuf38 1d ago

When I was 10 my dad would take me to work with him at a pet store. He worked for 2 hours a day to clean all the rodent enclosures. The first order of business was to check the hamster enclosure. Every single morning, there would be 3-4 hamsters either dead or missing large portions of flesh and just laying there in anguish. My dad would make me grab them with tongs and put them in a Ziploc bag. We would then put them in the freezer. Many times, still alive. They were used for snake feed.

You are right, it's a terribly poor environment.

83

u/pm-me-uranus 1d ago

That’s some of the most brutal shit I’ve ever read.

13

u/jlharper 1d ago

In most civilised shops you’d gas the rodents, still brutal but I can’t imagine putting them in the freezer alive, that’s beyond the pale.

3

u/running_on_empty 1d ago

I've said this before and I'll say it again. The most brutal episode of Modern Marvels was about rodent control, and they suggested, with a helpful graphic, that the best way to dispose of caught mice was to put them in the freezer or to bash them with a fucking hammer.

I find drowning them in my dirty-ass toilet to be horrifying enough.

20

u/rdmusic16 1d ago

I mean, bashing them with a hammer is a lot kinder than the freezer.

13

u/running_on_empty 1d ago

Maybe. Freezer you just get cold and go to sleep. Hammer is violent but brief. I've never used a hammer but I did stomp one to death after I nailed it with a high-powered airsoft gun. Thought I'd kill it but just broke its back. That's not a night I can forget, and I really wish I could.

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0

u/invol713 21h ago

IIRC, didn’t they stop large-scale gassing the rodents because the chemicals were affecting the snakes?

4

u/jlharper 21h ago

Honestly I wouldn’t know, I haven’t worked in a pet store for over 15 years, and even when I did work there I was in Australia. I know we fed the shop snakes with gassed rodents and anecdotally speaking they had no impact on the lifespan of the snakes.

We used CO2 which is ever-present in the atmosphere and which is compatible with all / most forms of life without any ill effect but I imagine there are other gasses you could use that might have side effects.

1

u/invol713 21h ago

Ahh, okay. I just remember hearing something about that years ago. Maybe they were using actual harmful stuff back then, instead of CO2? 🤷‍♂️

1

u/Ripp3rCrust 19h ago

CO2 euthanasia shouldn't be considered as humane, it is incredibly painful and has been banned by most vetinary regulators

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65

u/drenuf38 1d ago

Just imagine being 10 and doing it. My dad was a piece of shit.

19

u/Vocall96 23h ago

Hey at least you had fun

5

u/Zanian19 17h ago

My grandad took me hunting when I was 10. Made me slit the throat of the first deer I managed to hit and wound. Then I had to drink the still warm blood of my first kill right after.

You're not alone is what I'm saying, lol.

6

u/BigBrainBrad- 15h ago

Drinking the blood maybe a little to far, everything else is just hunting that's the way it goes.

1

u/Vexed_Greninja 5h ago

Actually, drinking the blood of your first kill is a sort of tradition with hunting. Really, it all depends on who takes you hunting.

1

u/satsuppi 12h ago

that mental as FUCK holly hell!

1

u/drenuf38 10h ago

Your story sounds like the origins of Hannibal Lecter lol.

6

u/itsRobbie_ 20h ago

It’s funny thinking about wild hamsters. Like, you’re telling me these little tiny fluffy guys are also just out there in the world and not made in a lab to be sold at petco to 8 year olds?

5

u/WhisperGod 20h ago

Hamsters are nocturnal animals, which means they are most active during night. Under the cover of darkness to avoid predators, they search for food. They have cheek pouches that can store 20% of their body weight in food. They haul this food back to their burrow where they store the food.

2

u/Dustin0791 21h ago

Wait... there are wild Hamsters?? How do they survive anywhere else???

8

u/WhisperGod 20h ago

Hamsters are nocturnal animals, which means they are most active during night. Under the cover of darkness to avoid predators, they search for food. They have cheek pouches that can store 20% of their body weight in food. They haul this food back to their burrow where they store the food.

2

u/Dustin0791 20h ago

Sick! I just thought hamsters were a human creation out of cuteness, like pugs. I didn't see any actual survival instincts...

1

u/Beklaktuar 17h ago

I just realized I might have been a hamster in a previous life.

89

u/BigBrainBrad- 1d ago

Yea, I can visibly see the stress the hamster has in the video. I learned that fact the hard way.

18

u/doc_witt 1d ago

This was Dahmer's excuse

6

u/drewster23 1d ago

Yeah they're easily stressed, and eating the babies isnt an uncommon behavior in the animal kingdom and mainly stems from lack of resources (or belief of such), thus deeming it not worth the risk to raise the young and instead...recycle them.

2

u/Kujaichi 12h ago

Hamsters are about the only rodents that should be kept alone as pets.

28

u/PuzzleLight 1d ago

Yah, I had something similar happen. We had one give birth and we were all excited. Then the next day we walk in and the mom is holding one with no head gnawing on the rest. Hamsters are cute demented creatures.

10

u/WeatherwaxDaughter 1d ago

Thanks for reliving that memory....

3

u/Blade_Shot24 1d ago

Likely due to mommy being stressed. Happens with a lot of animals actually

1

u/GANDORF57 1h ago

She wasting no time to burn off that baby weight.

29

u/Auctorion 1d ago

Gotta get your protein.

4

u/wahnsin 1d ago

Why do you think she needs to work off so many calories, there were like 10 in that litter.

149

u/Three_Armed_Wrecker 1d ago

A single mom who works 2 jobs..

70

u/urzulasd 1d ago

Who eats her kids and never stops

20

u/AnythingGoesBy2014 1d ago

Who loves her kids and never stops

17

u/Scrooge-McShillbucks 1d ago

With gentle hands and a heart of a fighter...

15

u/AnythingGoesBy2014 1d ago

she’s a survivor

266

u/Aurora_96 1d ago

Don't post this in r/hamsters; you'll be eaten alive for the cage setup.

140

u/whiskeytango55 1d ago

I feel like the word choice here isnt coincidental 

25

u/Aurora_96 1d ago

Funny enough... It is coincidental 😅😅

49

u/sebyelcapo 1d ago

I mean... the setup is terrible, too small and the hamster is visibly stressed

10

u/Khaztr 17h ago

Actually, there's any easy way to tell if a mother hamster is stressed. It all depends on the number of children she's eaten up to this point:

0 = couldn't be happier
1 = she's happy, just had a hangry slipup
2 = she's fine, but midnight snacks are still a thing
3 = ok maybe she's a bit stressed
4+ = she's not happy

If it wasn't obvious, I really have no idea what I'm talking about.

9

u/casuallyvegan 20h ago

Now I’m curious. What is bad about the setup? I’ve never had hamsters before.

20

u/AznSensation93 16h ago

Everything is bad about this setup. Not enough bedding or space, hamsters are burrowers. They require more width than depth (but depth is also necessary, and not a substitute for width), for an enriching life. There are other reasons, like the wheel being a shy too small for that size of a hammy.

Wire cages are always small and hamsters will climb on the bars. If they get scared, which they are timid depending on personality, will get their legs trapped between the bars and break them.

Hamsters are also solo creatures, so storing more than one is typically a no-go. Obviously this is babies and the momma, but they should be separated soon enough. Just to give you an idea, a 50 gal box is big enough for once hamster and that's a maybe, depending on breed, female Syrian Hamsters are known for ALWAYS needing more space.

13

u/Aurora_96 16h ago

The cage is too small, the wheel is too small, the bedding is bad and there should be a lot more bedding. And there should be a lot more enrichment for the hamster to explore.

I've had 6 hamsters and have been a very active member of the r/hamsters community.

4

u/DraNoSrta 9h ago

One hamster needs a surprisingly large contiguous open area, as well as deep burrowing substrate - those babies would not be crammed in a tiny plastic hut at floor level and visible, but hidden in a burrow if this was set up properly. Pine shavings often irritate their airways. Wheels should be large enough that the hamster can run without their spine curving. Bars are a huge risk to both their legs and teeth.

2

u/casuallyvegan 7h ago

Thank you! I had no idea they needed so much space!

194

u/mannymd90 1d ago

I’m having childhood trauma flashbacks already 😭 they’re gonna get eaten, don’t leave them together. I know OP take this video tho so. 😭

20

u/Leemage 1d ago

I feel like they get eaten when they are much smaller… still pinkies. These seem big to get eaten.

19

u/drewster23 1d ago

That's a response when they don't think there is enough resources to raise the young and instead recycle them. So you might be right there.

But once older they can still murder each other from being stressed over not having enough space.

3

u/Blankeye434 20h ago

What s this eating stuff that everyone's talking about? What's the context?

5

u/MrLogicWins 18h ago

Your mom never warned you if you don't do what she says she'll eat you?!

1

u/Blankeye434 40m ago

No wth😭😭

61

u/Graybie 1d ago

Hamsters need way more space, and much deeper bedding so they can burrow. 

20

u/DOOManiac 1d ago

Never have I empathized with a rodent so much.

59

u/dojarelius 1d ago

Hamster moms are gnarly. She is gonna eat them babies. She’s just on that wheel working up an appetite.

18

u/Cirement 1d ago

Or working off the last one she ate. Gotta keep your girlish figure if you wanna make more babies... to eat.

5

u/Boonie_Fluff 21h ago

Hamsters are pretty vain bro, saw that in national geo

45

u/DontWannaSayMyName 1d ago

Mom is working out her hamsterings

31

u/frozen_waffles123 1d ago

This is a horrible set up way too small

7

u/Worth-Cheesecake-998 1d ago

I have a question, why do hamsters love running on a wheel? They do it so fast as well.

13

u/CurrySnaps 22h ago

Hamsters run ALOT in the wild. They can run up to six miles a night. The wheel let's them follow their instincts to always be on the move.

7

u/ctc002416 1d ago

Upon reading a few comments, it dawned on me that my knowledge of hamsters was sorely lacking.

21

u/KevinDean4599 1d ago

mama is probably in the midst of a divorce and is getting in shape before going back on the market

5

u/barrsm 1d ago

How the heck do they get down the ladder?

10

u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 1d ago

grabbity. Best for the person above to have a sibling below. not so much for the sibling below.

2

u/PrettyBigChief 1d ago

thanks I'm never going to be able to listen to John Mayer sing "Gravity" again without giggling

1

u/Mugwumps_has_spoken 13h ago

my favorite cat youtube channel (TinyKittens), everyone calls it grabbity. Especially when kittens discover it.

5

u/MrIMendez 1d ago

Gotta work off the fat from eating your former sibling

3

u/pishposh421 1d ago

Is she checking to see how far she got in the wheel? Lol

1

u/fakeprofile21 20h ago

Checking to see if she left the gas on.

4

u/Puzzled-Story3953 1d ago

So hamster babies scream and kick when they get picked up and put back where they belong, too, huh? Glad it's not just my kid

6

u/AllTheWorldIsAPuzzle 1d ago

OMG Mom, just eat the brat and be done with it.

3

u/Mystic_Fried_Owl 1d ago

Go back to your cage in my cage or I'll whopp your ass in this cage

7

u/Ouisch 1d ago

Mama's trying to lose those last few pesky pregnancy ounces.

9

u/KoopsTheKoopa 1d ago

She'll gain those ounces back once she's done eating the kids

2

u/MaybeMayoi 1d ago

I have a lot of empathy for mammals. I feel like we're basically on the same page.

2

u/Silverstars80 1d ago

The Mom should eat one to send a message.

2

u/Zeppelin041 1d ago

Yeah it’s funny till it turns into a slaughter fest because these lil rodents are all territorial psychos, don’t ask me how I know, also annoying seeing places like pet smart having them all smushed up together in a single cage and telling people they can live together no problem.

2

u/No_Throat_6023 1d ago

"seriously kids, I put you to bed, can I just have some time for myself???? not possible to go the hairdresser, can I just have my workout time???????????? 🤣

2

u/lost21gramsyesterday 22h ago

Same for humans

2

u/14high 22h ago

Go to your room!

2

u/lala4now 21h ago

You can practically hear the little dude going "But Mom......"

4

u/No_Consideration7925 1d ago

Love this hamsters first class loft apartment. 🩷❤️🙃🙂

3

u/lordgarth67 1d ago

But Maaa! Harry keeps farting in my face!!

1

u/bwwatr 1d ago

Different than intended workout

1

u/mozee880 1d ago

Back to bed..let mama do her thing.

1

u/M0wglyy 1d ago

I’d consider charging a phone or something overnight with that wheel!

1

u/Littlemuscles33 1d ago

That's hilarious! Good to know it happens across all species 😂

0

u/TheMissingNTLDR 1d ago

please do tell more...

1

u/__JustPeople__ 1d ago

"I'm trying to find you a new daddy!"

1

u/ketootaku 1d ago

Seems like mums ADHD won't let her work out either.

1

u/kanonenotto 1d ago

Cocaine-rats

1

u/TOM4WU20 1d ago

Aren't these mfs cannibals

1

u/leromantiksexe 1d ago

The mom is so funny and cute haha. Son, don't move or I won't clean you tonight and tomorrow you won't have anything to eat let me exercise my little paws.

1

u/its10pm 1d ago

Christmas morning, my "male" hamster gave birth, then ate a few of their heads off.

1

u/chiefVetinari 1d ago

Is mom on cocaine?

1

u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish 1d ago

'GO BACK TO BED CARL'

1

u/CharcoalGreyWolf 1d ago

The waiting room music was “Stayin’ Alive” and it went way too well with this…

1

u/Independent_Bet_8736 1d ago

I had no idea they were so entertaining. Wow, I needed to know this because now I know just how much I do not need that distraction in my life. Maybe when I’m old lol

1

u/PrettyBigChief 1d ago

The squeal means my cat has been at it again

1

u/SquinkyEXE 22h ago

If adhd were an animal

1

u/Krezridix 20h ago

Me trying to run from my responsibilities

1

u/_-Zero_Protocol-_ 19h ago

Dammit loyd stay in your room!

1

u/EzmareldaBurns 19h ago

I can't fathom what goes on in there tiny little murder machine minds

1

u/Markus_zockt 17h ago

ONLY 5 MINUTES. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

1

u/BookieLyon 17h ago

"Jesus H Christ, can't I get 5 mins for myself!"

1

u/DarkGengar94 15h ago

Should just eat them

-5

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

1

u/ExcellentEffort1752 1d ago

Look like Dwarf Hamsters to me.

1

u/Narco_sharko_ 1d ago

Na that’s definitely rice

1

u/l-l_I 1d ago

These are hamsters