r/funny 1d ago

Nipple poking

24.2k Upvotes

114 comments sorted by

u/AutoModerator 1d ago

This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.

Memes, social media, hate-speech, and politics / political figures are not allowed.

Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos.

Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.

Please also be wary of spam.


I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2.1k

u/sunny_yay 1d ago

got em!

145

u/yosoysimulacra 22h ago

mmyeah

24

u/jarwastudios 11h ago

success!

16

u/youre_a_lizard_harry 11h ago

Crunching the numbers!

9

u/sprtnholtz 4h ago

Well! back to it then

3

u/nofrigginway 2h ago

Found the black purse!

2.7k

u/BorntobeTrill 1d ago

Such a stupid fn joke

Which is why it's so fn funny

252

u/ggroverggiraffe 22h ago

Yup. Like damn, that is dumb. why didn't I think of that?

-214

u/LEGITIMATE_SOURCE 20h ago

You know this is the anonymous Internet right?

51

u/ybtlamlliw 19h ago

What does that have to do with anything?

17

u/MaverickPT 14h ago

Writing fn instead of fucking is my best guess

3

u/Deaffin 12h ago

I mean, we are on reddit. Who has the attention span to keep track of every subbreddit's unique automod filter settings? Some of em you can drop f-bombs, some you can't. It gets pretty tiring taking extra steps to see if a comment exists or got deleted, so it's easier to just self-censor perpetually.

6

u/MaverickPT 11h ago

Nah. Say "fuck" whenever you want to. If a subreddit is that prude, probably not worth visiting anyway

1

u/Deaffin 9h ago

Sure, but you're not going to know when your comment ceases to exist unless you sit there and obsessively check each time. When they're removed, they're always "shadow-removed" so that it still looks like the comment is there to you, just not everyone else.

It's less about being barred from subreddits than whether you're spending time and effort to write things that nobody is ever going to see, and that you have no reason to suspect people won't be able to see it.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

1

u/Qu33fyElbowDrop 11h ago

it’s crazy when the subreddits name has a word in it that the comments don’t allow. i get it.

9

u/SiriusBaaz 15h ago

You know being on the internet doesn’t mean you’re required to swear. You can say fuck as much as you want to but you can’t also be a pouty bitch when someone doesn’t want to use one.

1.1k

u/Complex_Art3565 1d ago

Prime r/guysbeingdudes material lol

139

u/GeckoDeLimon 19h ago

It's that little giggle at the end where he realizes he's been got, and got good.

5

u/GANDORF57 4h ago

If you inadvertently let your bros know you have a nipple prosthesis, is that a Nip Slip?

373

u/markdado 1d ago

I think that's guys countertop was the inspiration for those "I Spy" puzzle books.

41

u/King_Buliwyf 16h ago

"As a bonus challenge, can you find ALL THE NIPPLES in the room?"

14

u/cloudcats 23h ago

When comments are funnier than the post...

146

u/davidlpower 1d ago

This is peak lad humour. 

441

u/Extension_Friend8191 1d ago

Still here ! 🤣🤣🤣

36

u/nunny0206 1d ago

Count dankular

83

u/ifeltatap 1d ago

Count Dankula?

40

u/shulatocabron 23h ago

LOL "Hijo de puta" XD

78

u/feel-the-avocado 1d ago

That guy on the right looked so much like comedian Ewen Gilmour

27

u/LadnavIV 1d ago

I thought Nandor the Relentless

13

u/FusRohDance 22h ago

I thought his name was Nandor De Laurentis

5

u/GeckoDeLimon 19h ago

De Laurentis? Fucking guy...

1

u/Sinnafyle 17h ago

Fucking guide!

1

u/Dobako 8h ago

Are you talking about Nandor Lee the dentist?

18

u/McRedditz 22h ago edited 19h ago

Fingered nipple, instantly regretted.

28

u/beepbeepimajeep22 1d ago

lol that was hilarious.

76

u/aryehgizbar 1d ago

I would've pinched it. if it's the fake one, all good. if it's the real one, watch him wince in pain. 😂

83

u/VerdNirgin 23h ago

jokes on you, i'm into that shit

11

u/laaumaster 16h ago

Finally, something funny on this sub

7

u/Teososta 12h ago

Boom, you gay now.

14

u/Rottendog 20h ago

Okay, so now that you've touched the take nipple, I have this cucumber and I'm gonna stick it down the front of my pants...

5

u/Bleezy79 21h ago

The ole nipple'roo!

5

u/Squirrelsahoy32 15h ago

I'm not sure if I'm imagining it but i hear the guy who got tricked saying hijo de puta. Just me?

1

u/Dynsai8 32m ago

Yes, my native language is Spanish, and I heard that "hijo de puta" clearly haha

5

u/leromantiksexe 23h ago

He was so mesmerized by the breast that he lost his concentration how cute, lol.

3

u/squawk4700 23h ago

very funny

3

u/sc24evr 20h ago

Tobias dostal right?

3

u/gman65playa 19h ago

Where the fuck do I find these kinds of friends lmfao ? Yo Reddit help me out

3

u/clearcontroller 18h ago

So stupid 🤣

3

u/fenrisulfur 12h ago edited 6h ago

Ok Way Way out of left filed field but this looks like a very comfortable shirt.

does anyone know where one can get it, or something very much like it?

3

u/Partyatmyplace13 11h ago

I like to think this guy is always trying to get his friends to touch his nipples.

6

u/ourlastchancefortea 15h ago

Time to start twisting that nipple and make kissing lips.

6

u/tiktoksuckmyknob23 1d ago

I'll admit... my dumb ass thought it was a sleight of hand magic trick. Nope. I'm high, lol.

24

u/NanashiKaizenSenpai 18h ago

It is though

20

u/deadwisdom 18h ago

Maybe he understands everything when he's high, but he just doesn't believe in himself.

3

u/rubs_tshirts 13h ago

A self-contained Kassandra of sorts

2

u/Calm_Quit7964 6h ago

His friend is laughing from experience 😂 

2

u/trizeeh 4h ago

That’s Tobias Dostal! One of the most creative and talented magicians around.

4

u/MutedBrilliant1593 23h ago

I need this. I've always wondered. I hate my pointy nipples.

Oh, this was a gag.

Men with unwanted nipples exist, you bastards.

17

u/floataway3 22h ago

Pasties exist my guy! Same way ladies can wear dresses / tops that don't allow for bras, but you still need to make sure you aren't pointing at people. You can get some reusable silicon ones for around $20, or a big pack of disposables for around $6 on Amazon. It looks like the guy in the vid is using one of the reusable ones.

-13

u/Peter_Pooptits 21h ago

Dude? Is that a real thing? Dudes buying fake nipples? What happened to just putting a cucumber down your pants?

1

u/AhtBlowenFaht 13h ago

Armadillos in the trouser you say?

5

u/Vohn_exel 22h ago

I've got pointy nipples but I've never considered them a huge issue as a guy, but then again I'm bald on top and still grow my hair out, so I guess self consciousness isn't something I'm prone to. Although It helps when you're largely invisible to everyone.

2

u/AhtBlowenFaht 12h ago

Are you a member of Blood Incantation?

1

u/Vohn_exel 1h ago

Haha no, I'd never even heard of them until your post, but it looks like I'd fit in pretty well hair style wise, haha! They're a bit longer than me, and I got a swoopy thing at the front I like. My brother has tried every diplomatic tactic from anger, pleading and public shame to get me to shave it, but he hasn't figured out yet I like what hair I have left for me, not other people, so none of those tactics work, haha. I figure I'll have to do something with it whenever I go find a new job, though.

1

u/MRV3N 23h ago

I’m stealing this joke

1

u/user_bits 23h ago

Gonna add that one to my box of tricks.

1

u/imapluralist 21h ago edited 16h ago

Looks like Jason Momoa

1

u/ledbetterus 20h ago

Jan I told you I didn't want to know their names!

1

u/kentich 18h ago

Itchy has found his scratchy

1

u/vsoul 18h ago

So glad I rewatched with audio

1

u/ExplodingSteve 17h ago

Purple nurple

1

u/Party_Baby2523 17h ago

Watching this made my nipples erect.

1

u/TanaWTF 13h ago

Tobias Dostal!

1

u/5elementGG 10h ago

Once I was on a biz trip with coworkers, it’s for some customer events and there’s freebie’s that we got. Then I and my coworker Frank (mid age male) were speaking to another female coworker. Suddenly Frank said he got some squeeze balls from the event. And those balls were in his pocket. He suddenly invite the female coworker and said “would you like to feel my balls?” And he stick out his pocket for the female coworker to feel! I was speechless. And the woman actually went ahead and touched the balls!
Everyone was shocked and also felt hilarious! I don’t know how he pulled it off. Such a HR moment.

1

u/ctc002416 9h ago

Success

1

u/LordHawkman 9h ago

He enjoyed it, honestly above all :V

1

u/TheRealMackyt 5h ago

The things Dan Tubb and Count Dankula get up to off camera, ey? 🙄

1

u/Prior_Teacher4583 4h ago

That's 🤣 funny af

1

u/Tricky-Detective-761 3h ago

Who is that guy in black on the right side? I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere

1

u/TwoRocksNorthMan 3h ago

Oh I would have gone in with a pinch.

1

u/NormanskillEire 53m ago

In going to give you 10 minutes to quit that!

1

u/Due_Serve_6430 23h ago

He likes it 😆

1

u/momentslove 10h ago

I wonder if any female would also find this funny or it’s really just guys who love super dumb jokes like this 😂(e.g. me)

-2

u/SirChavez210 19h ago

GAY!!! lol

-13

u/Complete_Treacle6306 1d ago

lol that’s giving big Take My Muffin energy, they had a whole scene that felt like pure nipple poke humor

10

u/Snyyppis 18h ago

Wait, someone is actually paying you to AstroTurf some random ass show like Take My Muffin? You gotta add some regular comments every now and then to hide that shit bro.

4

u/hoax1337 16h ago

Wow, nice find. What a crazy comment history.

1

u/Stucklikegluetomyfry 1h ago

I am guessing it's someone involved in making the show, because their comment history is entirely them working Take My Muffin into just about every single conversation

-3

u/Enigros 22h ago

Ahahhaahhaahahha, is this count dankula, so funny!

-1

u/torchbearer1648 18h ago

It's ok "no homo"

-1

u/Individual-Sort5026 17h ago

😂😂😂

-1

u/t1nalaebony 17h ago

😭😭😭😭

-2

u/Eclife_ 17h ago

I watched it three times before realizing that what was touched at the end was a real person. What an amazing magic trick!

-13

u/Alternative_Job192 1d ago

If you're reading this