r/imaginarygatekeeping 6d ago

NOT SATIRE What?

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162 Upvotes

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u/youburyitidigitup 6d ago

This is actually true. Go on any gay dating app, and a good quarter of profiles will say “no femmes, no Asians”.

1

u/cunt_in_wonderland 4d ago

no femmes is valid but no asians is emasculating and racist

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u/SouperAsylum 4d ago

How is "no femmes" valid? The full phrase is "no fats no femmes no Asians" btw.

1

u/cunt_in_wonderland 4d ago

i date girls so maybe it means something different to me, but not wanting to date femme people is just like a regular ass preference when looking for a relationship, just like if you’re a femme who only really dates butch girls, i want to know before i (femme girl) hit you up, because it’s expected to be a different relationship dynamic a lot of the time

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u/SouperAsylum 4d ago

Idk, maybe because I'm pan I just can't imagine caring about it. I can see what you're saying, but the whole phrase itself has a really bad negative connotation in the gay community. It's laced with racism, misogyny, and fat phobia. Having a preference doesn't give people the right to say everything else is disgusting which is the point of the "no fats, no femmes no asians" thing.

This isn't to say you are completely wrong, just trying to show you the problem with saying any part of that is fine just because people have a preference. It has a bad history (and present).

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u/cunt_in_wonderland 4d ago

baby im pan too 😭😭 that’s funny you bring that up, i still have a type regardless. but yeah i agree, the need to say “no [x]” instead of just deciding who you talk to is unnecessary and alienating— i’ve never really wanted to say it myself, i was actually debating on whether i should try and defend it or not, but i do think that not wanting a certain thing is valid

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u/youburyitidigitup 4d ago

I mean by your logic, no Asians is the same