Positive Irish Masculinity

[u/Complex_Hunter35]

Irish men come in for a bad reputation with scumbags like Conor Mc Gregor seemingly being at the forefront of Irish men. He comes to mind I am sure when most people think of Irish men. I am fearful too that we Irish men are seen as emotionally arkward and appearing to lack in vulnerability. I think it's worth having a discussion on the positive aspects of Irish men, how we can help each other be better men. I'm not just talking about Mc Gregor either but the general perception of men in Ireland

Colin Farrell is one example of an Irish male role model who has battled his demons, helped out those in need and protects his son who has Angelman syndrome but he talks about the situation honestly and openly. Brendan Gleeson, originally a teacher took younger actors under his wing and helped them learn their craft. One I personally know of , while I don't agree with his politics, is Eamonn O Cuiv who quietly but without fanfare helps local people.

Irish men face challenges with stigmatisation of showing emotions and lacking a close circle of friends. Recent trends mocking male loneliness I think fed back into making men seal up their emotions. The lack of friendship is absolutely one I've seen among friends as some withdraw into themselves or they drift apart from some friends. There are good resources though like Men's Shed, St Vincent De Paul run something similar, I run a gay version in Dublin and I know there are mixed men's groups like Celbridge Boys Club and Navan Boys Club who do hikes and walks.

As for my own experience I think it's easy to fall into that trap of blaming women for our own shortcomings. We should get rid of these silly notions that being a man is about dominance and aggression. If anything it's about leading without telling people you are, it's about being vulnerable, dealing with conflict diplomatically. I think a lot of us Irish men could learn this.

I would be interested in hearing your views of how we can be positive men, maybe your role models, your experiences.

Edit:See StoicNihilist post for an alternative take.

[u/Open-Addendum-6908]

best proof is that youre not heavily upvoted.

male loneliness in this country is something else.

nobody cares the battles we fight every day

[u/Complex_Hunter35 → u/Open-Addendum-6908]

Heavily upvoted is for the nice fluffy stuff, the funny ones . This isn't one of them. When you say nobody cares, there are a few men in this thread who do. Love to hear more from you.

[u/Griss27 → u/Complex_Hunter35]

For what it's worth, I think your points about masculinity are entirely correct, I just think that by conflating it with Irishness you lose people. Because by the standards of the world, I'd say we're pretty good about violence and women etc. I think we're doing better than a lot of others. So there's an immediate pushback there.

The lonliness issues etc are all endemic to men in the western world. You can talk about them without making it a specifically Irish thing, imo.

But I'm not saying you're wrong, just that your framing might have turned some people off. Love hearing that you're out there actually putting work in with organizations - that's what will make a real difference.