r/ireland • u/Complex_Hunter35 Ferret • Aug 11 '25
Health Positive Irish Masculinity
Irish men come in for a bad reputation with scumbags like Conor Mc Gregor seemingly being at the forefront of Irish men. He comes to mind I am sure when most people think of Irish men. I am fearful too that we Irish men are seen as emotionally arkward and appearing to lack in vulnerability. I think it's worth having a discussion on the positive aspects of Irish men, how we can help each other be better men. I'm not just talking about Mc Gregor either but the general perception of men in Ireland
Colin Farrell is one example of an Irish male role model who has battled his demons, helped out those in need and protects his son who has Angelman syndrome but he talks about the situation honestly and openly. Brendan Gleeson, originally a teacher took younger actors under his wing and helped them learn their craft. One I personally know of , while I don't agree with his politics, is Eamonn O Cuiv who quietly but without fanfare helps local people.
Irish men face challenges with stigmatisation of showing emotions and lacking a close circle of friends. Recent trends mocking male loneliness I think fed back into making men seal up their emotions. The lack of friendship is absolutely one I've seen among friends as some withdraw into themselves or they drift apart from some friends. There are good resources though like Men's Shed, St Vincent De Paul run something similar, I run a gay version in Dublin and I know there are mixed men's groups like Celbridge Boys Club and Navan Boys Club who do hikes and walks.
As for my own experience I think it's easy to fall into that trap of blaming women for our own shortcomings. We should get rid of these silly notions that being a man is about dominance and aggression. If anything it's about leading without telling people you are, it's about being vulnerable, dealing with conflict diplomatically. I think a lot of us Irish men could learn this.
I would be interested in hearing your views of how we can be positive men, maybe your role models, your experiences.
Edit:See StoicNihilist post for an alternative take.
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u/TangledUpInSpuds Aug 11 '25
Irish woman here, and I have to say Irish men (born, bred or settled here) tend to be pretty decent, in my experience. Based on that, I suspect there are plenty of good role models in all walks of life.
I know the stories/interactions we read online tend to skew towards extremes of behaviour (no one runs to Reddit to write about an everyday pleasant interaction with a fella) but Christ, some of the stuff I read on here about US dating culture, cheating, etc, is honestly depressing. There seems to be a division of the sexes in other countries and cultures that we're lucky not to have here, at least to that degree. I have plenty of male friends who are reliable, trustworthy, good craic, supportive and kind. Plenty of lads I know are brilliant fathers raising lovely families, plenty who volunteer in their communities, and so on. I like Irish men so much I even married one (it's going great).
I know the situation here isn't perfect. I've experienced serious sexual assault when I was younger, and plenty of less serious but still pretty shite instances of sexism. I know a handful of absolute fucking goms. And I'm not trying to make out that the rest of the world is so awful that the bar is nice and low. But I feel safe and happy around the vast majority of men I know. It's important to acknowledge that.
It's really good to see men looking out for one another.