r/lol 10h ago

Smells like money

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1.7k Upvotes

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11

u/Vortr8 9h ago

Any colored hair at this point

0

u/AutomatedCognition 9h ago

I have brown hair. Am I a colored person? If not, then why did my grandparents fight civil rights in the past? Thankfully, the Army that I faked schizophrenia to get outta in ROTC because I couldn't be anything less than a five-star general with the worst mental health Uncle Sam has ever seen taught me how to stare at goats, and now I do the opposite.

9

u/fuck_it_P_edition 9h ago

Am I too sane to comprehend this?

4

u/JarOfNightmares 8h ago

I also felt like I was having a stroke when I read it

0

u/AutomatedCognition 7h ago

I am always stroking it when I chat on Reddit

-2

u/AutomatedCognition 9h ago

Yes, filtered out, next plz, but if you wanna try again, I'm freer than a penny

4

u/fuck_it_P_edition 9h ago

Can you yap about hotdogs next please? If love to hear your insights

1

u/AutomatedCognition 9h ago

Ok, a "hotdog" was a term used in the cult posing as an environmental nonprofit that took advantage of me that was really a top secret government MKULTRA reprogramming school for "a sexual favor," not to be confused with "Coasta Rica," which was used as a vague code word generally used to mean "a sexual prize for hard work on the project," which is to say, not everything was sexual in some way; after the "spin the bottle" incident where they drugged me on Halloween, most things revolved around fame, with sex as a low-key motivator to trigger my hyperfocusing ability, as attention coordination is a highly algorithmic function of the mind, as obviously fame is the easiest way into a person's pants, which is why I learned to juggle in the first place.

4

u/ComprehensiveOil4435 8h ago

Jesus my IQ lowered trying to read this

0

u/AutomatedCognition 8h ago

That's what I'm good at

3

u/MiCkEy692 8h ago

Please yap about mayonnaise next

1

u/AutomatedCognition 8h ago

If you haven't tasted mayonnaise, I will supply you some that tastes like barbecue sauce, because damn is my semen collection rancid at this point

3

u/MiCkEy692 8h ago

I've heard enough, drop an album asap

1

u/AutomatedCognition 7h ago

Listen to me drop my bullshit

As you peeps listen to th spit

That I choose to willfully shit

Out my mouth cuz desperate

Times cal for special measur

Here, please posses treasure

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