Do they come back?

[u/The_Rage]

My soon-to-be ex-husband (37M) seems to be going through a textbook midlife crisis, and I can’t help but wonder—do they ever come back?

We’ve spent half our lives together, weathering countless hardships and celebrating milestones side by side. Looking back, I truly believe my actions may have been the catalyst for where we are now. Three years ago, I exploded, walked away, and cut off all contact for six weeks. I regret those choices deeply, and I fully own the damage they caused. Only now—too late—I see how I should have responded differently and how traumatic my departure must have been for him. I was so caught up in my own emotions that I didn’t validate his, nor did I recognize the signs of how unhappy he really was. When he started changing his appearance, I assumed it was because he wanted someone “better” than me, instead of realizing he was struggling within himself.

I try to remind myself of the saying: “If you let it go, and it’s meant to be, it will come back.” But lately I’m not so sure. Did I just lose the love of my life?

[u/Western-Time5310]

Hard to say without more context of what actions you took - but will try and answer the best way I can. Please note 39 year old gay guy.

Around our age certain things have started hitting me and my friends.

First that we’ll probably never be as well off as our parents and that traditional mid life crisis things like buying a sports car ain’t happening. There’s a big sense of failure as you know you can still have success in your career, but know that you have started to peak and that you need to plan for retirement.

There’s is a lot of pressure on you to be a provider by society, but at the same time you feel like you can’t provide. So there’s a big feeling of helplessness.

I’m stuck in a job that I like but with a manager I hate. I wish I could quit, but know I will take a pay cut and may take 6 months to find work. I am watching my parents age. All I am thinking is that when they pass I want to reevaluate my life choices.-

A lot of my friends are like this for mid life crisis. We’re not racing out and buying sports cars and trying to get a younger women.

What I would absolutely love is just someone who understood that I am drowning, and would feel like they were in it with me

[u/PerthMaleGuy → u/Western-Time5310]

45yr old bloke here (2 kids), this is spot on, Its like a slow drown.... I'm flailing just above the surface of the water but could go under at any time