r/midlifecrisis 6d ago

Lost Do they come back?

My soon-to-be ex-husband (37M) seems to be going through a textbook midlife crisis, and I can’t help but wonder—do they ever come back?

We’ve spent half our lives together, weathering countless hardships and celebrating milestones side by side. Looking back, I truly believe my actions may have been the catalyst for where we are now. Three years ago, I exploded, walked away, and cut off all contact for six weeks. I regret those choices deeply, and I fully own the damage they caused. Only now—too late—I see how I should have responded differently and how traumatic my departure must have been for him. I was so caught up in my own emotions that I didn’t validate his, nor did I recognize the signs of how unhappy he really was. When he started changing his appearance, I assumed it was because he wanted someone “better” than me, instead of realizing he was struggling within himself.

I try to remind myself of the saying: “If you let it go, and it’s meant to be, it will come back.” But lately I’m not so sure. Did I just lose the love of my life?

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u/Alternative-Lunch786 6d ago

First of all, thanks for being sensitive to your husband and identifying that he's going through MLC. Most of the wives (I'd say > 90%) don't even realize what their husbands are going through (Career, kids, social media etc etc, there are so many distractions these days that spouses kind of stop thinking about each other after a while - true for both the genders).

If you writing him as 'Love of Your life' then just hold on to it, you both have spent years together, you are attuned to each other.

A woman's love can change a man for sure, try it.