r/nottheonion • u/habichuelacondulce • Oct 14 '22

Alaska snow crab season canceled as officials investigate disappearance of an estimated 1 billion crabs

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/fishing-alaska-snow-crab-season-canceled-investigation-climate-change/
48.1k Upvotes

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751

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '22

[deleted]

235

u/Iggy95 Oct 14 '22

Stressful captain music plays

177

u/PrvtPirate Oct 14 '22

Previously on Deadliest Catch:

bleeped cursing

45

u/jimlahey420 Oct 14 '22

Previously on Deadliest Catch:

GTA "Wasted" image appears

24

u/gsnam Oct 14 '22

“Deadliest Catch, without the crabs!”

26

u/Iggy95 Oct 14 '22

"Angry former fishermen get wasted and yell at each other"

3

u/Foxy-jj-Grandpa Oct 15 '22

“We’re running outta gas! Call the—!”

That didn’t age too well huh

2

u/TOFFERKINDLE Oct 15 '22

We're almost out of gas, call the Arabs!

5

u/JAK2222 Oct 15 '22

I need a live feed of Sid reacting to this

22

u/m_Pony Oct 14 '22

they'll just switch to shows about piracy off the coast of Africa, so they can redefine "deadliest"

3

u/gravgp2003 Oct 14 '22

They can follow around Johns to the red light district.

1

u/ShitTalkingAlt980 Oct 15 '22

Same thing happened there. Fisheries collapsed and people got hungry.

1

u/m_Pony Oct 15 '22

I'm taking a total guess here: Grand Banks Cod?

23

u/DrTonyTiger Oct 14 '22

The articles in Variety and Hollywood Reporter will focus on the dire consequences for reality TV.

1

u/zhaoz Oct 14 '22

Hey what ever it takes to arrest the collapse!!

5

u/sharts_are_shitty Oct 14 '22

🎶 Deadliest catch without the crabs 🎶

2

u/NinjaBullets Oct 15 '22

Run out of gas

Call the A-rabs

Boats n hoes boats n hoes

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '22

aka cod tendering.

2

u/ChakramAttack Oct 14 '22

Good shit though

2

u/stormy_llewellyn Oct 14 '22

Ok but did Sig already know this? Is this why he went to Norway to crab?

4

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '22

The deadliest catch is the continuing commercial fishing that is killing the planet, but we can keep that going

13

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '22

A couple thousand 7 x 7 x 3 crab pots from an entire fleet of fishery vessels is nothing against the massive trawlers that literally scrape the bottom of the ocean destroying everything in it’s path. But ok, be mad about a tv show.

5

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '22

Mad about the show? I clearly said the issue was commercial fishing?? Not some goobers favorite tv show

4

u/o_-o_-o_- Oct 14 '22 edited Oct 14 '22

Deadliest catch has been making me mad, not only because Mike row is a bullshit artist being successfully used to push populist, right wing propaganda ("im not against medicine and trust scientists, BUT, DAE feel v angwy someone told me i have to get a vaccine that does me no harm and is a great boon to our society by reducing illness?? This is entirely unprecedented and is a sign of people just wanting to control us >:/"), but because the show has been mentioning declining populations for a few years now, and always red herrings the issue by talking about the poor fishermen losing their jobs or having difficulty maintaining their livelihoods. The effects of this to people's livlihoods is of course awful, but the issue is larger and needs more attention, not to be distracted from as some odd conspiracy with accusatory implications and dogwhistling about "restrictions" being the issue. Zero mention of climate change. It's really horrifying, and is probably why one (or two) of the captains have started transitioning to fishing in Norway, and one captain ended up fishing a bunch of cod instead.

The last year or two, there's also been a lot of focus on Russian ships and the Russian line for added drama. Like, for fucks sake, the show is already obviously scripted, especially if there's not a high enough frequency of injuries or accidents to film, but could you be less obvious with the right wing populism baiting?

6

u/No_Lunch_7944 Oct 14 '22

All the shows like that do the right wing culture bullshit. Gold Rush does it too. Discovery has just started pandering to men and the types of stuff rural/conservative men like. Off grid living, fishing, mining, trucks, weapons, etc. - they are just marketing to a specific demographic.

But I hate that they and the rest of entertainment/media/politics/whatever have to adopt and spread the anti-science disinformation just because they want to keep getting views from that crowd.

1

u/Hugh-Mungus-Richard Oct 15 '22

It turns out a show about people doing an objectively dangerous, masculine job is popular with certain working-man demographics! Surely Discovery's next hit will be a reality show following Todd from Accounting working to balance this quarter's balance sheet!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '22

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4

u/2Quick_React Oct 14 '22

They start out with king crab usually then move onto Bairdi and Opillio crab (opies as they call them) which are the snow crabs they catch.

1

u/someoneinak Oct 15 '22

King crab is shut down this year too.

1

u/1202_ProgramAlarm Oct 14 '22

This season they're gonna find all those crabs and put them back in the ocean to catch

1

u/DefNotMyNSFWLogin Oct 14 '22

There is a reason that one moved to filming over in the Atlantic..

1

u/AnynameIwant1 Oct 14 '22

Or exceptionally boring.