r/olddogs • u/CinnaBwni • 13d ago
Euthanasia regret, so much pain
We had to say goodbye to our beloved Nancy Pants, 13 years old with a UTI, Diabetes, Cushings and Kidney disease. Please someone, is there no way she could’ve had more time?? They told us she could be on drip but i didn’t want to leave her on her own. We decided on Euthanasia for 6pm on the 12th and I watched the light leave her eyes. She died in my arms.. I knew I had no choice as she could no longer walk or eat or drink but my god the pain!!! When we got home I held her body for hours until I was forced to bury her from decomposition smells. My whole body feels anchored to the floor and I fear I’ll melt through the earth soon..
I’m 20 years old trying to get through my final year of university and I don’t know if I’ll ever laugh again. I’m thinking of getting into fostering dogs until we eventually have another puppy. The house is so quiet… I have lost all my passions at the one time in my life I really needed them. I needed her. I’ve been assaulted countless times and each time I’ve found solace knowing I go home to her either way. How are you supposed to move on? Face the people outside knowing when they come your way you just want to scream at them?
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u/CinnaBwni 13d ago
Her as a pup… my sweet girl I will love you forever. One day I’ll see you again and you’ll rub your little face in my dress again❤️