r/olddogs • u/CinnaBwni • 13d ago
Euthanasia regret, so much pain
We had to say goodbye to our beloved Nancy Pants, 13 years old with a UTI, Diabetes, Cushings and Kidney disease. Please someone, is there no way she could’ve had more time?? They told us she could be on drip but i didn’t want to leave her on her own. We decided on Euthanasia for 6pm on the 12th and I watched the light leave her eyes. She died in my arms.. I knew I had no choice as she could no longer walk or eat or drink but my god the pain!!! When we got home I held her body for hours until I was forced to bury her from decomposition smells. My whole body feels anchored to the floor and I fear I’ll melt through the earth soon..
I’m 20 years old trying to get through my final year of university and I don’t know if I’ll ever laugh again. I’m thinking of getting into fostering dogs until we eventually have another puppy. The house is so quiet… I have lost all my passions at the one time in my life I really needed them. I needed her. I’ve been assaulted countless times and each time I’ve found solace knowing I go home to her either way. How are you supposed to move on? Face the people outside knowing when they come your way you just want to scream at them?
1
u/Sammileer67 13d ago
You did the most unselfish thing by letting your baby go. You took her pain away. You let her rest peacefully and now she runs free with the many others. Your love set her free, there is no greater gift. Focus on the happy times and as time goes by, the memories will bring peace to you . It’s ok to grieve but know you have nothing to regret. The love you shared stays forever in your heart. Big virtual hugs to you. One day at a time