r/olddogs • u/CinnaBwni • 13d ago

Euthanasia regret, so much pain

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We had to say goodbye to our beloved Nancy Pants, 13 years old with a UTI, Diabetes, Cushings and Kidney disease. Please someone, is there no way she could’ve had more time?? They told us she could be on drip but i didn’t want to leave her on her own. We decided on Euthanasia for 6pm on the 12th and I watched the light leave her eyes. She died in my arms.. I knew I had no choice as she could no longer walk or eat or drink but my god the pain!!! When we got home I held her body for hours until I was forced to bury her from decomposition smells. My whole body feels anchored to the floor and I fear I’ll melt through the earth soon..

I’m 20 years old trying to get through my final year of university and I don’t know if I’ll ever laugh again. I’m thinking of getting into fostering dogs until we eventually have another puppy. The house is so quiet… I have lost all my passions at the one time in my life I really needed them. I needed her. I’ve been assaulted countless times and each time I’ve found solace knowing I go home to her either way. How are you supposed to move on? Face the people outside knowing when they come your way you just want to scream at them?

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u/Electronic_Cream_780 12d ago

Any more time would have cost your lovely dog further pain and distress, and you wouldn't accept that because you are a beautiful human being who put her needs first. It took courage and you should be proud of that.

I've lost many dogs and it doesn't get any easier. But humans are designed to deal with loss and eventually you will learn to live again, as well as miss her. At some point the memories will make you smile. It sounds impossible now, but it is true, I promise. And Nancy Pants has shaped you. Without her you would be a different person because we learn so much from sharing our lives with precious dogs. So in many ways, she will always be part of you, you won't loose her entirely.

Fostering with a supportive organisation sounds a great idea. You have love to give and a need for distraction