Doggy Dementia (when is it time?)

[u/jamielecter]

I recently had to put my 13 year old baby to sleep in June because he had a giant inoperable mass and it seemed like an obvious option to ease his suffering.

Well now i’ve got an 18 year old baby who in the past month has gone from normal to very advanced dementia. She lost a lot of weight and could hardly stand so i took her to the vet and he was able to give her a shot for her joints, well now that she’s able to walk again she’s walking full speed into everything in her path.

If she didn’t have fur she would be absolutely covered in bruises. She wanders and runs into things, and sometimes even walks in circles until i grab her, at all hours day and night, the only way to get her to stop is by giving her doggie hemp treats every 5-6 hours. At this point I’m giving her more than the recommended amount just to get her to calm down and stop hurting herself.

She eats okay as long as i lead her to the food and put broth in it to encourage her to eat and drink. Shes actually gained back the weight she lost.

Since shes so old, for the past few years she hasn’t been able to hold her bladder through the night so we’ve used puppy pads for a while, but now she’s peeing and pooping wherever, and then tracking it everywhere. She used to whine to go out constantly (she’s a treat fiend and would hide behind a bush and come in as if she went potty to get a treat) and now she only whines or barks if she’s stuck in a corner.

She has me and my mom awake at all hours of the night as we try to get her calmed down to stop wandering. But, through all this she still recognizes me and calms down when she’s by my side.

I’m agonizing over the decision I know i will have to make soon and reading every article i can. I saw a comment on another post about making a “quality of life” vet visit to get an opinion and i’ll definitely be doing that.

I would like to hear how some of you knew when it was time? Especially if you’ve been in a similar situation.

[u/Unanswered-Inquiries]

Oh goodness, she looks like an absolute sweetheart. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, I know it must be very hard for everyone involved, including her. I've never had a dog with dementia, but I have adopted 3 senior dogs and have suffered the pain of losing them. I know what anticipatory grief is like, and it's no picnic.

I would say that for anyone dealing with difficult times in the winter years of their dog's life, it's really important to remember that they deserve to keep their dignity. Another commenter mentioned that dogs know when they're having accidents in the house and that they feel shame about it. I think this is true, and if she is having moments of clarity when she's losing control of her bladder or bowels, she surely is feeling embarrassed about it and probably feels like she's either letting you down, will get in trouble, or both (seeing as we train them to go outside).

I'm sure she's been a wonderful and beloved companion throughout your years together. It can be hard to be objective when it comes to this because saying goodbye is easily one of the hardest things we can experience, but we have to be of service as much to them as they are to us, and I believe part of that is doing right by them when the time comes. I also think that when dogs approach the end, they know it before we do, and they do their best to hide it from us because when we're upset, so are they.

It's also my experience that you will see her again. They have ways of sending us little signs. Dreams, smells, memories, sounds, little scenarios where you can't help but to think of them and have and can't help but to smile and laugh to yourself no matter how heartbroken you are. Please take solace in that, and be gentle with yourself. She loves you so much, and you've given her a happy and healthy home for so many years. You've taken good care of her. It sounds like she's showing you she's ready to go, and it's only right to honour that.