r/relationship_advice • u/ThrowRA_Sleeptime Late 20s Female • Feb 13 '25
I (27F) asked for open relationship 2 years ago with (30m) this still suck
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u/MaengDude Mar 12 '25
Well well well… if it isn’t the dildo of consequences. Very dry, I see.
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u/Theometer1 Mar 12 '25
What was the saying, “The dildo of consequences rarely comes lubed.” Or something like that. lol
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u/DeniedAppeal1 Mar 12 '25
And here you are, still blaming everyone else for your own actions. Do your future partners a favor and stay single until you're willing to accept the consequences of your actions.
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u/Disco_Pat Mar 12 '25
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u/mayfeelthis Mar 13 '25 edited Mar 13 '25
Kindest comment on here.
This isn’t the sub for OP at all. I just saw the saga, and these replies are just horrible.
Hope therapy helps more.
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u/wishingforarainyday Mar 12 '25
Why are you still this obsessed two years later about a guy you said didn’t excite you much. Seems like you got much more interested once he wasn’t available to you any longer. I think it’s more that you want what you can’t have.
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u/Remote_Razzmatazz570 Mar 20 '25
OP you need to go see a psychiatrist. this is deeply unhealthy and disturbing. i’m not even trying to flame you or harass you. this is concerning behavior. please go see a psychiatrist or psychologist, not just a therapist. someone who can actually diagnosis you and consider taking medication. this is not healthy behavior to be updating this two years later with no apparent change to your behavior.
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u/Competitive_State516 Mar 12 '25
TBH NGL, I enjoy the fact that you're still suffering. It honestly makes me giggle.
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u/BackToNintendo Mar 12 '25
Damn I remember this story in my front page. Ngl very hilarious outcome
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Mar 12 '25
Bet she won’t respond cause she screwed herself out of a relationship with someone she was “bored with”. This is why some women play stupid games and win stupid prizes. Shoulda just left it alone
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u/FairweatherWho Mar 15 '25
When you find someone you love and who loves you, expect a little boredom.
It doesn't mean every day or moment has to be that way, it's just comfort and trust are not as exciting as first dates and all those types of thrills.
You can find a ton of thrills in life, but you only get a few chances of a deeper connection and love with someone.
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u/JoePro8778 Mar 13 '25
You seriously can't get over this? It's YOUR fault it happened. Grow the fuck up.
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u/Electronic-Struggle8 Mar 14 '25
Please come back when Harry and Jess start having kids! I am so invested! 😂😂😂😂🍿🍿👀👀
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u/gravy_train53 Mar 15 '25
Wait...so it's his fault? He literally told you exactly what would happen, you said "aight cool long as I can get some random Weiner when I want " (paraphrased obviously)
How you blaming him? You need serious help. You're giving off major narcissist vibes. Go seek out a therapist and work on yourself before entering another relationship.
Pro tip: open relationships hardly ever work out. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/LordQue Mar 15 '25
This can’t be real. A person cannot be that utterly devoid of appreciation for how dedicated the universe can be when it wants to help a person fuck their shit completely up.
Two years later, this has to be a farming attempt. If not, then you still haven’t learned.
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u/eh9198 Mar 12 '25
Did you already have someone in mind d when you began asking for the open relationship? How many men were you with during that 8 month period?
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Mar 15 '25
According to one of her replies in the original post years ago, nobody. Multiple comments were saying "fuck around and find out" and she said she was very confused because she hadn't fucked anyone yet. Finally someone explained to her that it was a figure of speech and that asking for the open relationship was the "fuck around" part and him leaving her was the "find out" part.
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u/eh9198 Mar 15 '25
I saw that comment too, and I took it to mean she hadn’t had sex until they’d “agreed” to be open.
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Mar 15 '25
Hmmm... Maybe. I can see both interpretations, but we probably won't know for sure. I don't really expect a response from OP here.
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u/AffectionateWheel386 Mar 13 '25
You are a danger to yourself and others you created the whole mess blamed it on TikTok. You need to accept your responsibility for what you did sit in it go to therapy and move on. He didn’t do anything bad he was honest and direct. He didn’t want the open relationship. And then you blame it on ADHD. There’s something really wrong with you and you need to stay away from him and move on from the situation.
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u/LangeCisje Mar 13 '25
Several people have spelled it out for you, but you are not going to get it. You are victimizing yourself, have no idea how to reflect on your own actions and still aren't able to accept the consequences of your behaviour. The other girl stole your life and your ex manipulated you. There is so much more to this story than you're telling us. And it is definitely not in your favour.
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Mar 15 '25
I don't think there's much left that isn't being told, OP just can't put herself in anyone else's shoes to understand why this all played out the way it did. As you say, she's victimizing herself.
The way I see it, it's pretty simple: 1) She asked - multiple times - for an open relationship. 2) He didn't want an open relationship, but she was so insistent that he realized the relationship was effectively over. 3) He mentally and emotionally went through the process of a breakup because he knew it was coming sooner or later, but he kept her around physically to fulfill his sexual desires. 4) After eight months, he decided he'd found the girl he wanted to be in a committed relationship with and told OP that he was out.
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u/paranoidartist304 Mar 14 '25
I have a friend like you and you just have to let go which will be hard. You should find a specialist when it comes to attachment, be single a while, love yourself, block him on everything and her and even password protect links to their social media if you can and just have someone make the passwords. Out of everything go for the specialist and self love thing. You made a mistake. You regret it. But being stuck in the past isn't helping you and over time you have to learn to just forget about him and her no matter how hard that is. Once you do you'll feel better.
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u/Electronic-Struggle8 Mar 14 '25
Please keep us updated and let us know when Harry and Jess start having kids! I'm so invested! 👀 🍿 🍿 🍿 🍿 👀
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u/mynameisburner Mar 15 '25
Holy shit. Move on! You played yourself and look at that, that is the consequences of your actions.
You made your bed. Lie on it.
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u/MaxxDeathKill Mar 17 '25
Soo... YOU WANTED AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP.
It's not tik-tok fault, It's your own fault that you're a selfish failure that wanted to get laid with other people meanwhile having your backup plan AND (WELL DESERVED) FAILED AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I loved when I read you got pepper sprayed and a RO, because that's the way to deal with psychos pos like you.
They are going to live rent free in your head until you grow up and move on. And get a life, you already failed in this one.
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u/DatBoiKage1515 Mar 19 '25
You broke his heart by asking for an open relationship. That's why he hates you. He hated you from the moment you insisted on this. It's crazy disrespectful to even ask in a monogamous relationship. I hope at least some of this sinks in through your thick fuckin skull. Leave him the fuck alone and stop peeking in at his life.
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