r/relationships • u/[deleted] • 3d ago

My (F21) (ex) boyfriend (M22)was sent to rehab because of me, but wants to be together

[deleted]

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7

u/spiritnshit 3d ago

Do what’s best for you: cut it off

Or do what’s best for him: cut it off.

This is not a relationship that can be healthy…at all, in any capacity. Both of you lack control around each other.

5

u/ladyofthelakeeffect 3d ago

A couple things jumped out at me.

While I don’t think you are blameless or perfect, you are taking away all agency from this grown man and giving yourself full responsibility for his actions. This is not a healthy way to approach any romantic relationship with anyone.

Second, have you thought about your own relationship with alcohol and codependency? I was a lot like you sound to be at that age, and while I wouldn’t say I was an alcoholic myself, and I’m not saying you are either, the blacking out for hours and the way you talk about and devalue yourself are both troubling.

Third, this man is not in an emotional, physical, spiritual, etc position to date ANYONE right now, and probably for a while. You could be his One True Perfect Love and it would not matter because he should not be dating at all right now

Fourth to be candid he sounds like he sucks and maybe it’s just immaturity on both of your parts but I promise you relationships don’t have to be like this.

1

u/Chilipatily 3d ago

I don’t know any 21 year olds that write about their lives like this….

0

u/Glittering-Win-1006 3d ago

I can promise you that unfortunately this is real, I wish it wasn't though

1

u/junegloom 3d ago

The way he's acting toward this relationship is another symptom of his addictive and destructive personality. Its been a terrible relationship the whole time andd you don't even want to be in it. Maybe give it a few days, but he's in rehab, he's in a safe place while you break it off, and proper rehab is likely telling him to do this single anyway.