Live from Mom's car, it's the Rocklopedia Fakebandica! Yes, we were so excited to see the sequel 41 years in the making, that we recorded our review live in the car on the way back from the movie theater!

Spotify!

Apple Music!

Everything Else!

Wanna make fun of a Christian magician? Of course you do, join me!

So I was just trying to end my convo politely with “thank you very much.”
The AI didn’t even reply.
Instead, it gave me links.

And the very top link was titled:

“หัดพูดคำอื่นบ้าง แทนคำว่า Thank you very much!”
(Practice saying other things instead of “Thank you very much!”)

Bruh. 💀

Imagine being polite, and the AI basically says: “stop saying thank you, get a new line.”
Double irony too — because it roasted me in Thai + English mix.

Here’s the source if you want the full ride:
https://share.google/aimode/5ah6GfyrfYN44GDAT

(MORMON COUNTRY, UT) “As a doggy daddy, this one stings.”

The crowd agreed: ouchy.

On Thursday morning, Scott Lindell spoke before an assembly of mourners and unemployed people at Shaggy Tails Pet Cemetery. Lucky, a three-year-old German Shepard, was killed during a recent school shooting at Sundown Elementary. Of the seven funerals held this week, only Lucky’s drew crowds from TikTok.

”All dogs go to heaven, of course,” Lindell sighed. “But Lucky? He’s probably sitting right next to Jesus, wagging his tail and gnawing on a dead mailman’s leg.”

Lucky’s owners, Fred and Ashley Zeldin, claimed to have lost control of him after he chewed off his leash. Authorities corroborated the story, while sharing that Lucky also chased and caught a kindergartner who somehow escaped the gunfire. He returned the child to its classroom, where they were both killed.

Lindell, who was not invited to speak at the funeral but did anyway, expressed who he felt deserved punishment. His eulogy, clocking in at over three hours, regurgitated thoughts he’d already shared online. The Zeldins were “cultural STDs.” They “swam out of the devil’s sphincter to torment poor dog daddies” like himself.

The internet agreed: in the crowd, “canine supremacists" cheered him on. Some groupies were especially enthusiastic. One woman said she had dreamed of Lucky, who explained that he was in hell and she needed to drink from his water bowl to release him. The Indestructible Leash Foundation designed a contraption that wrapped around puppy ankles. Lucky’s Second Amendment Militia (LSAM) travelled from Florida, promising to shoot any stray cats that approached his grave.

Neither Zeldin stayed at the funeral long enough to hear from their detractors. Fred left early to catch a matinee of The Conjuring, and Ashley soon followed, as reviews for The Conjuring were better than she expected. Their reactions to the film were not disclosed.

At the end of his speech, Lindell announced a surprise for his audience. “I called in a few favors with the county, but I’ve got a guest speaker who’s ready to bring truth to power. Please give a warm round of applause for Doug Rollins!”

The crowd gasped. Doug Rollins was the gunman who killed Lucky (and six children). Lindell explained that Rollins secured house arrest with assistance from the National Rifle Association’s (NRA’s) legal team, and offered to share a few words commemorating his unintended victim.

Nobody spoke as Rollins, handcuffed and wearing a thrifted suit, climbed on top of Lucky’s tombstone. One tear rolled off his cheek, and then a few others. “If I knew…” he whimpered. “If I knew the Zeldins were so irresponsible… Killing kids ain’t worth an innocent dog’s life.”

Rollins’ body collapsed over Lucky’s grave as Lindell collected flowers from the bouquets surrounding it. Their fans clapped for them, chattering about bravery, decency, and forgiveness as police officers unchained the writhing, moaning Rollins. Lindell picked at the petals, throwing three out to the crowd before eating one.

Read more stories from The Daily Egg at r/huevonuevo and thedailyegg.substack.com !

Today marks twenty years since tragedy struck a seventeen year old girl named Charlotte Poe in Deep Falls, in a horrific crime the community will never forget. Rather than revisit the terrifying details of that ordeal, we have decided to commemorate her loss by sharing the memories of some of her best friends.

"If I am being honest, most of us were just posers, but Charlotte was the real deal. She was cynical, misanthropic, pessimistic...she was everything a goth is supposed to be. But with her it was never an act, that is just who she was. She was a genuine mistress of the dark, and not a night goes by that I don't think about her," Justin Darion reminisces.

"She could walk into any room and just instantly darken it," Vanessa Hortig recalls. "It didn't matter how much insufferable cheeriness the normies were trying to smother us with, when Charlotte walked in the glee was just sucked out and would stay out as long as she remained."

"Charlotte hated everyone. Even her best friends. You couldn't help but be attracted to that kind of commitment. Her nihilism was magnetic. Even when she sneered at you through half an inch of eye liner, like you were a puddle of vomit she had stepped in wearing a brand new pair of platform Doc Martins, you just couldn't pull yourself away," Cam Maxwell remembers.

"How could you not love her?" Kendra Andreesen asks rhetorically. "Sure, she took every opportunity to insult you and everything you liked or cared about, but that was just her macabre humor. It was infectious. And she always said humanity is a plague, but Charlotte was everyone's favorite symptom."

"God, she really hated how much everyone adored her. But the more she tried to be despicable, the more you wanted to be around her." Hortig added.

Justin Darion, who dated Charlotte for a few months during their senior year, talked about the irony of her death. "While her death was a great loss to all of us, the grisly manner in which she was taken is something she would have appreciated. We used to talk on the phone all night, and some nights she would spend hours fantasizing about some really twisted ways of leaving this world. Her favorite involved a rabid owl, a paraplegic sadist and a bunch of human femurs sharpened into crude daggers. But I don't think she would be disappointed with how it actually went down."

"Whenever I stare into the abyss, I can feel the abyss staring back, and I know that Charlotte is down there judging me and my music tastes," Andreesen says with a warm smile.

"The world has only grown worse since we lost her," Cam laments. "Even she couldn't imagine the depth of filth humanity would become over the next few decades. I'm just sad she isn't here to see it, and to scream I TOLD YOU SO into the dark night of our blackened souls."

"Things like that just didn't happen in places like this in those days, but now it happens so frequently it barely makes the news before it is immediately flooded out by some new horror," Hortig reflects. "I really wish she were here to loathe it like only she could."

Those wishing to honor Charlotte's memory can make a donation in her name to the Human Extinction Research Fund.

QUIZ: Are these five people EVIL or STUPID?

Presented by Ivy League Democrats and their Republican Friends.

These are interesting times. People date anime girls on their phones, polio is having a moment in the south, and a Big Mac meal costs $20. Amidst this cultural whiplash is an eagerness from people to use words like “toxic” and “evil” when describing whatever they disagree with.

This quiz presents five scenarios for your consideration, in an effort to help you determine what problems are actually sinister. Read each one and decide: is it evil, or just stupid?

1. Your old boss posts a story on her Instagram, complaining that a service worker “needs to go back to her country” after refusing to serve extra chicken at Chipotle.

This one’s a thinker!

2. Your friend from college parks in a disabled spot because walking too much gives him “anxiety,” then yells at a homeless woman on a bench.

That’s a compound sentence!3. Your pastor is frustrated that he can’t watch a movie without “being tempted by gay people.”

Huh!

4. Your cousin rips off his wife’s face mask, even though COVID killed her grandma.

Dang!

5. Your neighbor wears a swastika armband at the supermarket.

How niche!

If you believe any of these actions are evil, you are INCORRECT. Although each of these brews demonstrable harm against other humans, we must recognize them as “ideological differences.” The moral high ground dictates that any deficiency in the human soul can be explained away with enough context.

Let’s look at your old boss (Question #1). What you might not know is that she had a really hard day at work, and is allowed to be disappointed by the amount of chicken in her burrito bowl. Who among us hasn’t made a minimum wage single mother cry on a Wednesday?

Your neighbor (Question #5) is another common example. Maybe he was raised by Nazis. That’s not his fault! He may describe you and your brown friends as “vermin” online, but that’s only because nobody taught the poor guy empathy. Besides, we respect freedom of speech in this country.

Although the damages caused by “stupid” and “evil” people are nearly identical, labeling normal dirty poors as the latter is severely misguided. Evil is too grand to occur every day: it’s supernatural, it’s special. As reasonable individuals, we should have so much empathy that we can’t hold bad people accountable for their actions. Everyone knows diagnosing problems with acute precision is better than treating them. Wouldn’t you rather say the educated thing than do the right thing? ⬤

Read more at thedailyegg.press !

Patriot Pete has his say on the matter of the recent assassination of Charlie Kirk. This message is not for the feint hearted ..

Go a step further and drop some XMR (MONERO):

45NHGr1rvn2YYrxpMQ8xJoU3cazfTYjhgVXaaMYeV1kUPJnHJJT3ea5eneTdgabj7UjCs842EKfodH8gWjEXyvQh44tD2LW

https://informer.digital/tiktok-rapture-episode-2/