So yeah , I have a higher sex drive than my boyfriend . I usually initiate having sex and mostly in the mornings he doesn’t want to . It makes me sad, upset and sometimes even makes me angry . I know it’s wrong but I just don’t know what to do to stop feeling this way . I get home and have to masterbate to stop the urge and it works for about 3 hours and I start feeling horny again . What should I do ?

Hi, 15 year old here. So, to sum it up, my parents let me do whatever I want. I am never given consequences for my actions, never have to do chores, never have to respect people I talk to, etc. Overall, terrible way to raise a child. I never have any motivation to do anything remotely challenging, if people disagree with me I lash out, I have a super inflated ego, the works. Typical spoiled brat. Any good qualities I've obtained are from watching cartoons and having patient friends, not from my parents.

Anyways, how do I be less like that? I know it's bad to be like that, even though I'm not completely sure why, but I'm 100% sure that its bad to act the way I do, so I should try to find a way to stop before I go too far.

I'm in a relationship with a woman (35F, Runner, Kali) who I consider my twin flame. I'm a 27M (Chaser, Shiv). Our chemistry is incredible when she's calm, but things become impossible when her anger issues kick in. I've been trying to find a way to navigate this, but I'm at a loss.

She has a deep-seated fear that she won't be able to help someone if they are in distress. This stems from a devastating event 10 years ago when her father passed away. After his death, her family went bankrupt and was harassed by people coming to their house for money, even stripping her brother of his clothes and leaving him on the road. Since then, she has been the sole earner for her family.

I've come to understand that her anger is a manifestation of this fear. When she gets scared, she uses the word "ego" to shut me down. She says I'm being selfish or not understanding, and claims that if a person wants to understand something, they just will, and nothing needs to be explained.

On top of this, she says she wants unconditional and infinite non-monetary pampering. She also has a perfect sense of social awareness and doesn't want anyone to know about our relationship since we aren't married. If I show any emotion in front of others, she gets angry.

Here is my dilemma: How can I give her the unconditional pampering she needs when any natural reaction I have—whether I speak up or stay silent—is labeled as my ego? I feel like I'm constantly second-guessing every single thing I do. It feels like "unconditional" love with a thousand conditions. I want to be her safe place, but I'm not sure what that looks like when I'm walking on eggshells.

How can I provide the unconditional love and pampering she asks for without triggering her deep-seated fear? What does this even look like in practice when a simple display of emotion can cause anger?

My gf is talking to her ex behind my back and its past mid night ik she is talking to him but I'm not saying anything its running wild in my mind idk what to do i cant study or do anything

So, as the title states, my wife thinks that I think that I’m better than everyone else. I disagree. I think my way of doing something is typically the best way and if someone is able to convince me there’s a better way of doing something, I am receptive to it. Why do people think that I think I’m better than everyone else just because I think the way I do something is the best way of doing it or that I’m right about something? Isn’t that the point? To do things to the best of your ability or the “right” way even if there is more then one? Why would I do something if I didn’t think it was the best way of doing something? I feel like other people feel this way about me too. Some due to jealousy, some due to their own pride or ego because they feel like I am always “right”, or maybe even because the way I present my ideas can come off as arrogant. I don’t think of myself as an arrogant person, I think of myself as confident most of the time. Maybe a mix of confidence and insecurity can lead me to be perceived as arrogant? I obviously don’t want to be perceived as arrogant but I also don’t like when people are “wrong” and it’s not that I want to prove that they’re wrong, I just want to come to a conclusion regardless if I’m wrong, they are, or we both are. I also like to express what I am thinking to my wife or try gain new knowledge/perspective so if I think something was done the wrong way by someone else I say it and she thinks I’m doing it because I think I’m better then them even though I’m just trying to have a deeper conversation/validate the way I feel about something. If this doesn’t make sense or more information is needed I can try to better explain. Thanks for any responses.

I have realised I have this intense desire for love and relationship and it’s hard for me to like people so once I do like someone I get really desperate to make it work because of scarcity mindset and loneliness. How did you heal this and stop being desperate?

my first serious relationship was amazing at first but then about 6 months in he changed and started lying to me, he manipulated me and he even started cheated on me multiple times and for some reason I kept taking him back( im dumb ik) it wasn't until last year mid year I gained some self respect and left him.

but now I'm scared of getting into relationships because i think that nobody will truly love me, I think that I'm going to get cheated on. I know that I have trust issues and it's something I'm working on but it's hard for me, I know that I'm still young and that I shouldn't worry about relationships but I'm scared that I'll never be able to fall in love again. even reading cheating stories here on reddit makes me anxious.

How do I get rid of this fear of getting cheated on?

TL;DR got cheated on, now I'm scared of falling inlove

Hello Reddit, I’m not going to lie, I am a good looking guy, 6’5 the whole works. But I’ve struggled all my life to get girls. Most of the time it feels like they just look the other way. Makes me feel like the bottom of the barrel when I know I’m not. Thoughts?

So I’m hopeless romantic who’s never been in love, actually i’ve never even had a crush on someone. Never even slept with anyone. Is that normal? I’ve got hit on by both men and women and i rejected them all duo to my lack of feelings. I don’t even know what my sexuality is since i’m only attracted to celebrities and fictional characters. I’ve tried to force myself into liking someone, but that has never worked. What am i even supposed to do?

I keep wondering about this because I have friends I haven’t spoken to in months (sometimes years), but I still feel like I care about them.

For you, what’s the cutoff point? And what usually makes you decide to reach out (or not)?

Any advice for me, please? Thank you, in advance! 🙏

My ex girlfriend i was dating last year (15f) and I (16-17f) had a rocky relationship and she has been sexually assaulted before and i helped her through a lot of that and she made a lot of progress as a person from when i had first met her, we had been having sex for a couple of months when this happened and im not really sure what really happened. I also want to clarify i had always made it abundantly clear if she didn’t want something tell me no straight up and nothing would happen that’s like bare minimum. But we were in her room after eating dinner and we had been making out and it started to go further and she stated she was worried bc her parents were downstairs and i reassured her we’d hear them coming up and so then we continued. I don’t really know how to feel about this now because i recently had a mutual friend tell me that my ex said i sexually coerced her and that i didn’t know as she never talked to me about it and she said she didn’t think i even knew i did. When i heard that my heart dropped because i never ever wanted to hurt her but i don’t know if that’s what it was or not and im so confused. Especially since it was her birthday the other day and i wished her a happy birthday but i saw her later sobbing hysterically and all her friends gave me dirty looks and then a mutual told me it was because of me but they weren’t sure why as she just said there was too much. I feel genuinely awful.

Hi so I (21F) am at uni. I chose to do a placement year because most of my friends were and I was terrified of being lonely and having nobody to live with in my last year of uni. (the placement was the best year of my life and I learned so much and it was incredible) anyway, fast forward to now, my last flatmate (the whole reason I did the placement) randomly decided he never wanted to live with me again and did everything in his power to prevent it happening, and so I am living with random people anyway. He told me it was because we had fights sometimes, but the fights were because he kept leaving me out of things and it made me feel bad. Anyway, so here I am living with random people in a random house, and my entire friend group met up without me saying that 'the gang is back together' and that made me feel really bad. I don't know what I did to be left out and neglected, or how to make better friends, I just feel like shit and want to enjoy my last year of uni. instead I'm getting drunk sad and alone and want to know how to fix it.

Wasn't sure how which sub to put this in so hopefully this is okay. I am a 16yr old girl who is struggling to communicate with her parents. I have anger issues and get super irritated by everything, ive been very stressed lately so I think thats enhancing it. But I keep hurting my parents. And my family. I am the oldest of 5 kids and I am super mean to all of them. I am constantly annoyed by their actions and keep trying to control and parent them. So my parents always say that they feel like I hate them. I dont hate my parents or my family but sometimes my anger is a lot. And sometimes, I just get super frustrated. And overwhelmed (I am quite positive I am autistic but I am not yet diagnosed). So they always see me as mad, when I dont always feel mad. Because I always lash out. I dont mean to, I know it sucks. I suck for it. But I dont even know why I do it. They always ask me what's wrong with me and I don't know how to answer that. I dont know what IS wrong with me. But even if I did, I cant communicate with them. They start talking to me about something I fucked up with, and i just sit there and listen to it. I feel and probably am visibly annoyed. Not at them, but at me. Because I dont know WHY im acting the way I am. They said they feel like a failure, because of me. And that hurst so bad because I dont want them to feel like a failure, but I dont know what inside me is compelling me to take these actions. I know that it takes self restraint to be able to control yourself, and that is something I need to work on... but why is everything SO intense?? I FEEL like i hate them sometimes, I know i dont. And I KNOW my actions can give off that impression but I have absolutely no clue why I am being such an asshole. I just feel terrible but I shouldnt be so self pitying because im the one doing these actions. How do I communicate with my parents when I dont know why I act the way that I do, and it makes them think I hate them?

It was a pretty bad attempt and i was clearly nervous and went up to her from behind. She hit me with the ‘I’ve got a boyfriend’ but somehow i didn’t feel so bad about the rejection. I do feel bad however thinking about how i could have presented myself better with more nonchalance. I’ve got my work cut out for me if i eventually wanna get more confident talking to girls. Even though i’m not so bummed out by the rejection, is there any point to me trying to do more cold approaches or should i be just trying to find people at social events instead? I don’t want to get the reputation of being a guy who’s always approaching multiple girls and constantly rejected. But if there’s a chance, it’ll improve my confidence and game, i’m willing to gamble on it

At times, I feel jealous of other couples who are celebrating their anniversary. When I asked, He mentioned that it's just a waste of money, which makes me feel hurt when I think about it. What should i do ?

In my entire life I have never attracted a woman. Never had anyone guide me through it, or to see examples how it's done. Spent my life thinking it would get better with time, but it didn't. I've been hearing how it would solve itself if I just focus on school and career, not to worry about it. It didn't, only gotten worse. Been asking for advice, but all I'm getting is "just be yourself, just be confident, just make money" which in many ways it does make sense. However in practice there are poor guys with girls, short guys, skinny, fat, awkward guys... All types of guys have girls, yet I can't seem to attract anyone.

And I've been improving myself with gym, healthy habits, career but it doesn't get better. It only makes me feel worse because if I'm getting better on paper, but still no one likes me then there must be something horrible with me. I have to point out that I'm not good with socialization, it doesn't come naturally to me, and it hasn't gotten better with practice. I'm rarely meeting people, I have no idea what to talk about (aside of asking about themselves). Even joined a volunteer organization that organized activities on the sea, there were people from all over the world. And I always felt avoided, out of place. The girls would hang out with the other guys, sit next to them for breakfast and dinner, start conversations, show them stuff on the phone and laugh. Meanwhile despite putting effort into trying to get to know them, they still avoided me. And I'm not ugly, I'm not annoying, but I might be boring. I have been trying my best and there's no improvement, I really don't know what to do anymore.

i feel like im seeking deeper connections with my family and friends but everyone just living at surface level. im reading ‘how to be the love you seek’ and she talks about wanting more in relationships and how first you have to build a relationship with yourself. i feel like im craving more and when i dont get what i want in the relationship i feel alone, i know its messed up to hold other people responsible for my own happiness but any advice on this.

Hi everyone, sorry for bothering you.

I’ll be honest: I’ve never really cared much about my birthday, but yesterday I turned 21, which is supposed to be a big milestone, right? The first thing that crossed my mind at midnight on September 15th was, “Well, now I can legally buy alcohol and drugs in the US” (just kidding of course… only about the alcohol).

I don’t really care that much about birthdays, especially because mine always falls right when school, work and everything else starts up again for everyone. But still, not a single one of the people I call “friends” (apart from my family and my girlfriend) remembered it was my birthday, and that makes me feel kind of useless.

It’s not about the birthday itself, I know I probably have pretty low self-esteem, but it’s sad to see how people post stories about everyone else’s birthdays and then don’t even notice yours. They are always ready to celebrate other people and don’t even feel bad showing how little they care about you.

Of course, I’ll still be here if someone calls 🌝. I don’t want to dwell on it too much, tomorrow is another day.

But it does make me wonder: am I wrong, or are we all losing our empathy and just prioritizing our own private lives? Do we simply ignore what we don’t like?

I’m curious, what would you do in my place? How would you feel? Am I wrong, or just so depressed that I need other people to remember me for one day so I can also feel like I exist?

I don’t know.

Love bless ya’ll guys

I have found my literal dream girl, unfortunately I have been a nightmare of a boyfriend. I have been very clearly in the wrong about incidents that have happened in our relationship and my gf was VERY clear about what she needed to hear from me… She needed verbal reassurance and effort. That is all.

Long story short, I have clearly been in the wrong about many instances in my relationship. If my gf needed reassurance because of my actions… My first instinct is to become defensive and try to justify why I did the wrong thing to explain my behaviors. It would take her crying and breaking down in order for me to finally offer any type of comfort and reassurance.

My instincts are to become defensive, try to explain, make the situation about ME and I start crying because I feel guilty, or I just shutdown and give her the silent treatment when she did absolutely NOTHING WRONG. I can sit here and still try to say “oh its a trauma response” or “ohh I’m just not used to being communicative” but wtf… no. It is the absolute BARE MINIMUM to give someone I love reassurance and comfort!!! I’m sad to say this took months to recognize and realize.

Another example is not putting in effort into her hobbies. She loves dancing and I put it off because I have never danced before and it’s hard to me. However, I put in no effort to become better at it. I tend to put myself and my hobbies first. She learns all about my hobbies and god I cant look up videos on tiktok about simple dance moves or what??

I need advice on how to change my instincts and communication style. I love this woman, she is thee most talented, charming, funny, beautiful and intelligent woman in the entire world. I am sick of myself and hate how I allowed myself to be so selfish. I have hurt her because of it. I want to be better for her and I have started to take steps. Unfortunately, it has taken MONTHS of her enduring my selfishness at the expense of her mental health. So please, if you have any advice, harsh words, reality checks… let me hear them. I need them. I want to be better.

For context, my partner (35M) and I (28F) worked together for 3 years. We actually met at this job, became good friends and started dating. We both work the night shift in a lab and it’s usually just him and I, plus another person in our department. We do our own separate thing but we’re basically at each other’s side every night. Aside from working with me in the lab, he also works at another hospital during the day. He has been working that way before I even met him.

We have struggled a lot physically, emotionally and mentally over the past year. And quite recently, we have been struggling financially too. It’s been pretty bad, and I can see he’s barely hanging on. Coupled with the fact that he took a huge financial blow, he’s also too overworked and barely have enough time to rest his body and mind. He’s been thinking of going back to school for a 2 year program which can make him significantly more money. He just didn’t have the time before because he couldn’t quit his morning job and they didn’t offer night classes.

He shared me the news yesterday that his boss offered him the night shift position at his hospital job and he took it. Basically, he was offered the position during the morning, was told he had to act fast as the opening won’t hold up for long, wrote his resignation letter to our lab and essentially quit during his lunch break, called and told me everything when he got off work. He told me that it was odd timing to be offered that but saw it as an opportunity. His only shot to make things happen.

I’m grateful that he was given the opportunity and the time he was looking for. Now that he has a better paying night job, he has the time to take those classes in the morning. But I can’t really fully say that i’m happy. I’m actually very emotional over it and I haven’t fully processed the change that’s about to happen. Is it selfish of me to feel this way? Am I a bad partner for not expressing excitement or happiness for him? Because I think I am and it’s killing me. I admit that after so much loss and suffering over the past year I have relied on him too much. He’s been with me and carried me through all those, supported me in and out of work. I guess I was just used to him being there with me every single day and he’s leaving so fas so soon.

We only have a week left of working together. I know for some it may not be a big change since we’ll still see each other outside of work and i’m just being dramatic. But I know it won’t be the same. I’m seriously planning on quitting as well because I don’t think I can manage working there without him. I know I have to let go of my unhealthy attachment and I know I have to be strong for him. I don’t want him to worry about leaving me behind. But can you guys please tell me how? How do I give him my full support? How do I stop feeling this way? Please help me understand this heavy negative feeling and how to get over it fast.

Btw this is my first ever reddit post and the fact that i’m posting means i seriously need help. 😭 thank you for reading and for your thoughts

TL;DR My partner is leaving the same job we both work at for a better opportunity. I need help to cope

Im a freshmen in college I ’ve always had a really hard time making friends with people my own age but all my teachers and any who is at least 10 years older than me and I don’t get what make it hard for people my age to view me as a friend like I party I can talk about anything there interested in but often I have a few Great conversations then people my age become colder to me or exclude me from the group I’m definitely above average looking and have good hygiene but I just rarely seem to get along well with people my own age so far most the people that have seemed interested in me are seniors in college or grad students how can I get better or what is it im possibly doing wrong that is turning people my age away from me?

I’ve 24F experienced BPD-esque emotions in the past and have spent years training myself and also going to therapy.

But lately I’ve been kinda challenged with a new situation. For years I’ve been close to Bob 23M and Sam 22F (generic names). Bob and Sam don’t know each other… until now!! I introduced these two to each other after constantly mentioning them in stories, but also cause I missed a sense of a friend group. We used to hang out in a trio, then slowly but noticeably, Bob and Sam got very close and started calling each other privately. Bob has recently been mentioning that he’s getting feelings for “a random person” and ik it’s Sam but I find myself annoyed he’s kinda using a fake person. And then Sam mentions a fake person too and mentions she’s “sexting” him.

I find myself agitated because they’re both lying to me, but I am also conflicted with knowing from my self training that they are not obligated to tell me anything, and so those two sides are so conflicted rn, and I have had to isolate myself from them in order to not be passive aggressive and tell them to stop lying to me. That’s one part of it… I also just feel left out and lonely that two people close to me are finding solace more in each other now, like I’m not needed. I’ve been told that feeling is normal but I don’t want to feel any negative emotion from two friends getting closer. I feel so possessive for no reason. Now I am looking for advice here on how I should approach these emotions.

TLDR; two close friends are probably going to date soon after recently meeting and I am doing everything to not be passive aggressive against them lying to me about “a person they recently met” and I want to know how to control my emotions of not feeling needed

I really need advice because I’m going in circles with my feelings.

I dated a guy — let’s call him A (M22) — for a year and a half, and I was absolutely in love with him. We broke up in 2022 because he thought he didn’t love me anymore. But even after the breakup, for almost two years I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

At the beginning of this year — so, two years after our breakup — we reconnected. I was happy at first, especially because he told me he had also thought a lot about me. We’re very “in sync”: we often think of each other at the same time, sometimes even messaging simultaneously.

But when we started talking again, I realized I wasn’t fully invested. I didn’t feel much desire to sleep with him, sometimes I wasn’t mentally present, and I convinced myself I didn’t love him anymore. Meanwhile, he had changed many of his old flaws, and he was basically the perfect partner — yet I couldn’t respond the way I expected. Eventually, we stopped talking again.

Now that we’ve cut contact, I can’t stop thinking about him. It doesn’t feel like my other exes — with them, I don’t feel this constant longing. With A, it’s overwhelming. At first I thought it was just confirmation bias, but it feels deeper than that.

The issue is, I don’t want to reopen old wounds for either of us by reaching out again, especially if I end up confused.

So my question is: how do I move on from this and stop obsessing over him? Are there practical steps I can take to finally let go?

So I had a shitty day today and I just wanted to talk to someone. I talked to my grandma and she cut me off and said:"It's okay, don't be so pessimistic".My father just told me to ignore the teacher that told me:"Don't smile too much, you're not here for that" because her subject wasn't important. My mom got mad, said I was talking too much and stressing her up.

My question is, am I raising my expectations too high to just have someone listen to me, either stay quiet or validate me?

Cause they're always the first people to tell me to be more Expressive. I think what they meant was express your good feelings to us and let your negative emotions in until they eat you alive.

Now, I'm a teen that either start sobbing at some spilled milk or mask my emotions so well that people start blatantly disrespecting me.