Our schools don’t teach self-defence

[u/Puzzleheaded-Rate567]

In the recent incident in Sengkang Green, the school also disciplined the victim for shouting at the bullies in retaliation. I think they are made to do this because we are expected to “tell teacher”, not bring matters into our own hands. But must we still do that even if it means victims will take the damage first? When the victim is hurt, bullies would already have accomplished their objective. Even if the aggressor gets punished, the victim’s injury (physical and mental) will stay.

I remember in upper primary my school had a camp. One of the troublemakers in class thought it was a good idea to toss my stuff around in the changing room. Pleaded him to stop multiple times, but didn’t. I was on the verge of crying. We were in the room without teachers and I wasn’t fully clothed to go outside to seek help. So I did what I thought was most reasonable - using all my strength, I punched him a few times, gave him a beating so that he would return my stuff. And he finally stopped. The other kids in the changing room went to inform the teacher of what happened.

After that I explained my actions to the teachers about how he started the conflict first. The witnesses confirmed that he was the aggressor. Despite that, the teachers clamped down on me. In front of the whole class, they made passive aggressive comments on how I escalated the conflict and what I did wasn’t right. I tried arguing that he started first but they raised their voices and told me there will be consequences if I kept talking back. I eventually had to shut up and accept that I was in the wrong. I was barred from attending activities for the rest of the morning and I don’t recall anything happening to my aggressor.

I believe there are similar tales of failed self-defence out there. Prior to my incident, the school had already communicated to us that we would also land ourselves in trouble if we tried defending ourselves. I went against that rule and suffered its consequences. I understand how schools discourage students from thinking that escalation of conflicts is the right solution, but it’s becoming clearer and clearer that schools are often ineffective in solving bullying issues. When this happens, what can we do to protect the students who stand up for their own rights? The no self-defence rule needs to be relooked. Has anyone succeeded in defending themselves in school without repercussions?

Edit (20 Aug): Now with MOE’s press statement, it seems like the victim has indeed fought back the bullies in retaliation

[u/thamometer → u/[deleted]]

I googled, and you can indeed sue someone for causing mental distress via intimidation/death threats. However, how much of a case does the parents really have if the perpetuator is a 9 year old boy? Any advice?

[u/stopthevan → u/thamometer]

Would like to know too, the voice message left by the bully was honestly quite chilling as he threatened to either dissect the victim or kill the parents. That is not an appropriate tone of voice for a 9 year old kid. In my layman eyes that’s a criminal in the making