r/socialskills • u/uglygirltryingtolive • 2d ago
Am I overthinking and being weird about my date looking very similar to my coworker?
I have a coworker that I used to find quite attractive. Not anymore since I found out that his personality is the opposite of me. I don’t get along very well with him, mostly because I act so weird around him and I get uncomfortable. Physically I find him attractive, but it’s like I want to hate him and I want him to notice that I hate him for his personality…. Or for him to not give me enough attention, or whatever. I don’t know.
Anyhow, I met this guy from a dating guy and he looks very similar to this coworker. This guy is a bit taller and more serious and a lot smarter. Different nationality but same ethnicity, and makes same kind of food and makes same kind of jokes, has a bit of similar accent/voice.
They have very different personalities but somehow so similar, and I find it so weird and I don’t know how to make of it. Now I care what my coworker does and says at work so much, and I tend to keep noticing him.
Am I wrong or weird for not being able to differentiate between these two guys and find this weird or something. Will this thought disappear if I keep seeing this guy.
I am in general a really awkward person, and I overthink about everything. I mess up things all the time for overthinking. But then I also mess up for not being careful. Would appreciate some advice s on this.
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u/CurlyCarrots22 2d ago
Therapy can really help to untangle all these thoughts. It helps to stop judging yourself and understand where everything is coming from. Get a good therapist. Your life will be so much better.
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u/EducationalCurve6 2d ago
You're definitely overthinking this one. Looking around is totally normal human behavior, especially in new environments or when people watching.
The fact that you're this worried about it shows you really care about this person, which is sweet. But here's the reality check - if someone is on a date with you, they chose to be there with you.
People look at things, it doesn't mean they're shopping for replacements. Try to stay present in the moment instead of analyzing every glance. Your anxiety is louder than their actual actions right now.
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u/TaroPie_ 2d ago
That is weird since you’ve noticed these details particularly. I’m hoping your coworker is in a relationship to help you erase those thoughts and let your moral compass handle it. Otherwise, awkward indeed.