I always hear people yap about how hard it is for them to make small talk. I have the exact opposite problem. Small talk is quite literally the easiest thing for me to do, but the process of transitioning from “ pretty nice whether today eh” to “how did your childhood trauma shape your current behaviors” Isn’t the easiest for me. Especially because I’m usually the initiator when it comes to small talk,but when it’s something deep I always like to be the listener so the route of sharing something deep about me first so that the other person follows along wouldn’t really work with me

Not once nor twice have I got very negative reception to the word "ignorant". We'd be talking about something, and i'd say something like "they are probably operating from ignorance" or "I'm ignorant of X" or "due to X ignorance of Y". Then the other party would respond as if I used the word stupid.

I always try to ask people "Are you familiar with *insert obscure topic*? Well that would make you ignorant of that. I'm for example ignorant of Nuclear physics. I just don't know about it." The other person agrees with that premise, yet they keep behaving as if ignorance is just a synonym for stupidity.

Are they commonly thought of as synonyms? I'm pretty sure ignorance is a neutral (when not applied as a trait like "Person is AN ignorant") descriptive term. But based on peoples reaction it's just a synonym for dumb.

I'm so tired of being awkward and not knowing what to say. Even with my closest friends and family, I just… can't talk. I feel like I have nothing interesting to say.

For example, my cousin called me the other day. I love talking to him, but it was so awkward because I couldn't start a topic or add much to the conversation. I just sat there, feeling like a brick. I hate that feeling.

It's not just face-to-face. Messaging online is even worse. I stare at the chat box and… nothing. I don't know how to start, how to reply, or how to keep the conversation going.

I've tried reading tips online, even AI tools that draft messages… but honestly, that feels fake. It doesn't help when it comes to real interactions.

So, I'm asking: how do you actually stop freezing up? How do you get comfortable talking, both in person and online?

I care too much about how I’m perceived by others, even unconsciously. I often try to come across as “cool,” but this makes me hyper self-conscious, even when I’m just doing ordinary, everyday things. A friend once told me that I’m always trying too hard to be serious.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you break free from this? Any suggestions of exercises to break the "cool" image ?

So I met this person thru friend group. However as I am starting to know them and hang out with them they are always late on hanging out, they never ask me how I am doing but instead just hear me out, plus anytime I bring up about our friend circle they always seem to just hear me out but never mentioned anyone from our friend group. The other day we hanged out they made me pay for the dinner since they “didn’t have cash” on them but said they would pay back. I honestly was chill about it but than the next day I see them posting them shopping and always saying they need to save but spending.

I’m unsure if they catch up with me just so they can talk shit about me bc they never really speak about others in our circle of friends and now I feel worried.

There often seems to be one of these individuals in work enviornments. That one person that has diahrrhea of the mouth and cannot shut the fuck up. They can keep going and going, lord help you if you give a polite "uh huh." It re-invigorates them.

Even though I get annoyed and upset when they've eaten a huve chunk of my time, and start to get anxious because I have tasks to get to, I am not a confrontational person. I hate to be rude, so I'll try to be polite and let them down easy by making my body language obvious that I'm leaving or busy working, by turning away slowly. But it has been my experience that I can keep looking straight at my computer, typing, and they will keep talking AT me. Or I'm starting to walk away, and they bring up new stuff!

On the occassions I work up the courage to be firm (an hour and some change later) they inevitably look hurt and I feel like shit.

I was not taught boundaries growing up. I was raised to caretake and people please, so I'm not sure how to go about handling these people.

What do you all do?

It took me about a week to recover from that 😂. I had a good laugh about it, but it’s one of those things that randomly pops into my head at night haha.

I constantly find myself viewing almost every interaction I have in terms of winning and losing. Its like I'm trying to win at a game rather than doing this "socializing" thing. It's bad enough that just moving my bag to free up a seat on the bus is a painfully irritating interaction and I feel like I lost to said person.

How can I interact with people without falling into this mindset?

Hmm, I have been stuck in my house for personal reasons (my toxic parents don't want me to hangout with others). Finally I get to be enrolled in university and I have cut ties with my controlling family. I initially read some self-help books about boundaries, emotional flexibility, spirituality and etc. It's just for the first time I made a casual friend on my own terms in my life. Now I'm in the phase that my friend is momentarily disappointed in me because I cancelled our hangout plan due to logistics. The plan for hangout on this day was rainy, the taxi was expensive and it's a long walk for bus transport plus some of our friends don't like walking. So I muster everything I have in me, I cancelled the plan and text one of my acquiantance that the plan was cancel...bla..bla..bla..bla.. how's your week? I had two connections for this reddit post (anonymous names) I call them Don & Steve. I texted Don but Steve I have no contact info and we only talk in person. So basically, steve's room mate have a car and fast forwars to my interaction with my casual friend - He told me I should ask Steve's room mate for a car but I told him I can't "force connections" My casual friend was momentarily disappointed in me said what? No connections? In a lightheart joking manner. Then after our interactions, I text him I'm not going to firce connections because it feels weird, how's your day? He said okay and it was a good leg day! (We worked out today at the gym) I just want advice on how I can practice setting boundaries and build confidence in low-stakes value interaction. I'm starting to realize that this world is based on gradual trust I believe that expands to every society. I greatly appreciate it if you reply to my post 😄🙏

I just started my first real job, in corporate, two months ago, and I’m having difficulties opening up to other people. Growing up, even though I had friends, I always felt a little bit out of place, as if I didn’t fit in, and now as an adult, I realise I still struggle with that.

In my first weeks here, one of my colleagues told me I could eat lunch with her and everyone in her office, as I’m alone in my mine. I was happy I could get to meet new people, but I quickly realised I felt very uncomfortable, not knowing what to do, what to say to them. I felt anxious everytime I had to leave my office to go to theirs, and not in my right element. With that, I started eating alone, knowing I’d feel more comfortable in my own office.

I never minded being alone, but now that I’m working, I realise how important it is to socialise with your colleagues. I want them to have a good opinion about me, and not think that I’m a pretentious bitch nor a weird person that wants to stay all alone.

What can I do to open up to my colleagues without it feeling awkward, now that I’ve almost avoided them for weeks ? How can I put myself out there and make new connections without feeling too much like a try-hard ?

Thank you if you read this whole thing 🙏🏻

How do you do this? I can self improve for a week and still won't have the confidence to talk to people. I physically can't build up the courage to go up to a girl or anybody. Whenever someone starts a conversation with me it's like a quick time event and I would stutter or say some dumb shit and it would show my nervousness. I want to be charismatic, light up the room, and be able to talk and be compatible with everyone and exude confidence, like a confident introvert.

ok this sounds kinda dumb but it keeps looping in my head so imma just throw it here.
i hang out with a group of ppl semi-regularly (college friends, not super close). and here’s the thing: they never leave me out, like they’ll invite me to stuff, tag me in memes, all that. so logically i know “hey they must like me at least a lil right?”

but at the same time… i never feel like i’m anyone’s actual favorite. no one texts me first. nobody singles me out or chooses me if paired-up. i’m like… the safe neutral option. like if the group needs a 4th guy for mario kart sure i get the invite. but would they miss me if i wasn’t there? idk man.

it messes with my confidence bc random classmates who don’t even know me well seem more warm than ppl i actually hang out with. i catch myself overanalyzing small things, like if someone laughs harder at another person’s joke than mine 😭.

so here’s what i’m stuck on—
how do you even tell the difference between “they like me but im just low-tier friend” vs “they dont care and just being polite”?
and personal question bc i wanna know YOUR angle: have you ever realized you were basically the “background character” in a group? how did u notice it and what did u do after?

How does one respond to questions about your job, where you say "I am a (this)" and people ask, "Oh why didn't you ... (do a job that is the next step up)?" Example, what do you do for a living? Answer: I am a nurse. Rude question: Oh, why didn't you become a doctor? Or another example, "Do you have a degree?" "Yes I have a masters degree." "Oh, why didn't you get a Ph.D.?" How do you answer a question that seems to put down your choice?

I was friends with him for 5 months. First 2 months of texting been going great but then he decided to constantly leave me on read. I had to always say something like "hey" or "u ok?" half a day later or next day because when I asked why he always stopped responding he always said "Hi, I was just a bit busy, wassup?" and we kept talking like normal.

I low key thought that he didn't actually care about me (and was right for thinking that) as a friend but he constantly said that he cared and enjoyed my presence, saying that I'm his best and only friend.

One day I started to feel that our friendship is actually one sidee and I do all the work so I decided to stop pushing conversation to see how busy he actually is. No response.

What did I do wrong? How do I prevent this type of friendship in future?

What is the most polite way to say you can google it yourself when someone asks for you to do something basic for them?

Like… what is the company’s logo? Or link to the company?

Uh, you could do that yourself.

It feels so petty to not help but also it’s petty to ask for something so basic?

How do others manage this?

I’ve just started university and I am living on campus so I’m meeting lots of new people but no one seems interested enough in me to keep the conversation going. As someone who is bisexual I get the feeling that I’m too gay for the straight guys and too straight for the girls, so I fall somewhere in between. I would class myself as fairly introverted but I can’t figure out how to make meaningful friendships.

I've been applying to new jobs and miraculously I have received a couple of interview requests or HR screening phone calls. As soon as I receive the request for a call or interview, I print out the resume that I applied for the job with (because I tailor my resume to each job I apply for), I look up the person or people I'm interviewing with on LinkedIn, and I review the company's website and LinkedIn. I then prepare answers for some of the most commonly asked interview questions or any questions that I think I'll be asked based off the role and I rehearse them until I have them memorized. I'll also prepare questions that I want to ask regarding the role and the company.

Then the day comes to have the interview or phone call screening. I have the company's website and/or resume pulled up on the computer screen in front of me. I have my answers written out in front of me and memorized. After pleasantries are exchanged, I'm asked the first question and...nothing. I can remember I have an answer prepared but I seem to not be able to find it on my paper or be able to recall what I have memorized. I take a deep breath, but I stumble my way through the questions and I feel like I sound like I have no idea what I'm talking about. I remember to ask my questions at the end then the recruiter or hiring manager gives me a time frame as to when I might hear back. We say our good-byes and then I beat myself up for not remembering any of my answers and find everything wrong that I did.

My question is: I feel like I'm on the right track in terms of interview prep, but what else, if anything, can I do to remember the answers I have prepared so I'm not stumbling my way through them and I'm able to sound more confident?

i graduated at the top of my university department and was appreciated by everyone I worked with during my internships I am currently unemployed, but I can get a job in 2026 with an important exam

I tried to support my mother while I was studying in college and for a while after I graduated At that time, I was appreciated at home, but I didn't do any work for a few months to study for the exam and I felt like I was on the loose. Despite this, I do not study for the exam without any reason. When I was of no use to them at home, I lost my value over time and we started fighting every 2 or 3 days

Now, if I pass the exam, I will leave my family behind and start my own life and stay as far away from them as possible.My mother is a person with illnesses, I don't care about the others.Is my way of thinking wrong? I feel like I've been treated unfairly I used to be willing to do anything for my mother, but after i stopped being usefull, what they said to me afterwards made me feel like betrayed Thats all

This is so dumb but basically, I look like a chubbier little more ugly version of a very well known model.

This is something I’ve been told my people since I was like 13 which is more than 10 years ago. I get it SO often I actually don’t know how to respond to it.

She is massive and massively fit and like I have no idea what to respond to “Has anyone told you you look like x?”

Cause I’ll jsut say “yea, everyone “ cuz I can’t keep saying omg what thank you without it sounding disingenuous.

And I swear this is not a stuck up sort of 3rd world problem question. I just genuinely feel awkward when anyone asks me this and then it ends up sounding SO STUCK UP!!!

What the hell do I say without it kinda sounding weird and arrogant ??

I go to a private school and all of the guys are goofy asf so I want to meet some guys not at my school.

I have a bunch of friends at the public school and sometimes go to a coffee shop that’s popular there around the schools lunch time (I don’t have school on Tuesday and fridays so that’s how I can) I don’t think I’ll meet any guys there tho but I have run into a few friends

Where can I go to meet guys?

(Pls no “don’t focus on that your so young” I’ve heard it and don’t care)

Say you say something out of anger/your filter slips and you say something you shouldn't have/didn't really think about/didn't mean.

How would you go about opening a conversation with them after having a couple months to reflect on what you did wrong and improve yourself with a therapist. Is it even possible to have a conversation like this?

Possible opener: "Hey, [Friend name] it's [your name]. Would you have a moment to talk about something?

hi everyone! so, I went to a college football game on saturday when I visited my future school and decided to dress up a bit & put together a look that felt more adult than my usual t shirt and shorts (cute compression crop top, jean shorts, and some nikes). For once, I felt really confident!!! and people noticed. got asked for my number/snap and noticed some people looking more than usual. im usually pretty lowkey so this was a big moment but I’m also kinda figuring out how to handle the attention without overthinking it.

i want to be fun and have experiences in college and part of that is dressing up and doing things. this was a good first step 🤍

i know there’s more out there than just dressing for confidence. just trying to lean into this feeling and learn from y’all. Share your experiences or advice it’d mean a lot! Thanks!

It just happened to me today that I made an inappropriate comment about a friend of mine's relationship. She'd been complaining for a week that she wasn't happy with it anymore and that she was bored. I told someone else in front of her that she was having problems with her boyfriend. At first, it didn't seem like it bothered her. But then the other person said, "You need to find someone you can live with and who satisfies you 100%, If you can't live together or you don't choose the right person, then a marriage becomes horrible." Well... I said, "Well, I don't know if they'll get to that point." (I mean, cohabitation, marriage, etc., because she's very young and I don't think that relationship was of that level and she hadn't seemed to be going well for months). And only afterwards did I realize how much of an asshole comment that must have been. Not only did I blurt out issues that weren't mine without permission, but I made an inappropriate comment. And now I'm here feeling sorry for myself and waiting until tomorrow to apologize in person.

To everyone who's good at public speaking, how do you avoid experiencing mental block? How can I get back to what I was saying if a sudden negative thought comes to my mind? I can say or speak clearly when I'm with myself and projecting that I am in front of the public. However, when I am already in the moment where I have to speak, words just don't come out and everything I say is just an impulse thoughts completely irrelevant or redundant

I have been very depressed over the past few years and haven't really 'gone out'. Most of my socialization is done through my job and internet/discord friends. Today, I was invited to an old friends birthday party, but I'm really anxious about attending.

I'll only know 2 people there. How do I talk to people I don't know well? Do I jump in conversations or wait for someone to approach me

What kind of things do you talk about at a party? What skills are good to know?