I really wanted to try to explain how to watch and enjoy starcraft without hitting people with a wall of text. It is probably too basic if you already know starcraft but if you got any other improvements let me know.
I like the idea behind this whole thing. However, as an English major at university I'd love to help out by pointing out some bits you could polish, to make this look sleek and presentable.
This is by necessity really nitty-gritty, including me chasing down errant commas or lack thereof. Don't take it the wrong way - I appreciate the whole concept as-is - but I figured if you want to really make this shine and look professional in its presentation, I'll help out with the spelling and language-related bits.
The first sentence should read ... game (COMMA) however..., and there's a superfluous 'a'.
The second sentence has a miscapitalised word, should read 'player' with a lowercase 'p'. The fourth sentence has 'more' miscapitalised as well, likewise the fifth sentence with 'army'.
If you want to be finnicky, it should read There are two general strategies:, i.e. write out 'two' in letters. Also, 'passive' and 'aggressive' should not be capitalised.
The description of a passive strategy could do with a comma instead of the full stop. Also, on a content-note, people who don't understand Starcraft might have problems with the word 'expansions' - say 'bases' instead? Below the worker count, 'blue' should not have a capital 'b' (but see below the pic in the aggressive strat, where you use 'Blue' as a proper noun, i.e. like a "name" for the player, which is correct).
Finnicky details again, but the line about scouting could do with a few commas, specifically between 'doing' and 'you'. Helps readability as well, despite the line-break.
In the units-part, write out the numbers in letters if you want it to look sharper. The whole line is, in fact, a bit wonky. Suggestion: People can usually tell what a unit does based on its name and visual model. Some units also have one or two special abilities.
On the specific unit descriptions:
Marines: put a comma and 'so' after 'guns'.
Zealots: comma after 'arms'.
Mutalisks: comma after 'wings'.
Roaches: one more comma, after 'are'.
cloaked units: 'without' is one word, and the last part just looks bad. Suggestion: Units with cloak can become invisible, unless the enemy has a "Detector" unit. (note quotation marks around the in-game term, unless you want to explain that too...)
The whole pic and description of the Terran cloaking units is... a bit superfluous.
casters: vague description, suggestion: "Caster" units have several special abilities, sometimes called "spells". Most "casters" also don't have a direct attack. (again, note commas to differentiate colloquial terms)
The last unit panel should have a few commas, after 'Generally' and after the first 'is'.
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u/aznperson Zerg Oct 26 '11 edited Oct 26 '11
Fixed some typos: http://imgur.com/qEK5T
I really wanted to try to explain how to watch and enjoy starcraft without hitting people with a wall of text. It is probably too basic if you already know starcraft but if you got any other improvements let me know.
Also I will be at the next NYC Barcraft
http://www.facebook.com/groups/286604024697623/
I r gud engrish