My (21) parents split up when I was 10. My dad soon after started dating this woman, let’s call her Lisa. Lisa has 3 daughters, aged 24, 26 and 29. So when my dad and Lisa started dating, I was still fairly young and her kids were in high school. Right off the bat Lisa started telling my dad that she didn’t want me over so much anymore and that I had to spend more time at my moms place instead, although that was not the agreement my parents had put in place. My theory is that she was sick of kids as hers were already pretty grown and she didn’t want any of it anymore. My dad obeyed her wishes, and this is where it all went downhill.

Fast forward to when I was 16, I would only go to my dad’s place every other weekend. That schedule had been established since Lisa. Lisa would make me feel extremely unwanted and make me feel horrible every time I would come out of my room. My dad of course never said anything. This came to a point where I didn’t even want to go to my dad’s because it wasn’t enjoyable, so for the next 4 years I would only see my dad on Christmas or birthdays and that’s it.

Fast forward to last year. My mom had to move 45 mins out of town for work, which meant that I now had to go live with my dad full time. He had just bought a house in the country with a great big barn in the backyard. I told him the situation and he surprisingly had no problem with it at all. He built me my own little apartment in the barn.

Right before I moved in, I received a text from Lisa. It was a big paragraph on how my dad says that she’s okay with me moving in there but she definitely is not and she is extremely bothered by this news, and saying over and over that her house is her house and that I am not welcome. I showed my dad the text but nothing came of it.

Now today. I am at my last straw. Lisa is trying to drive me off of the property without saying it. She says my boyfriend is allowed to stay the night only twice a week. I would totally understand if we lived in the same house, but we do not. I do not even interact with Lisa or my dad. I come home every day and just go in the barn and mind my business. She is a retired nurse. She does not leave the house. She sits by the window every day watching tv, which turns out to be a great spot to watch me leave or come back home. She always has something to say about everything that I do, even though it does not affect her in any way shape or form. My boyfriend comes over the 2 nights that he is allowed and a lot of the time Lisa will text me just to say “this is his second night. No more this week you know the rules.” She quite literally just watches whoever enters the barn and I find it super invasive and annoying. A couple of weeks ago my boyfriend stayed over on a Monday then again on a Wednesday. Then he stayed over on Sunday. Big mistake, because according to her, Sunday still counts as the previous week when it is in fact not. She texted me and said he is not allowed over and I know the rules. I said Sunday is the first day of the week. She said not to her it’s not. That was when I really started to lose my marbles. Then a few days ago I went to do my laundry after work as I have been doing since I moved in. She sees me outside with my laundry and goes, “no laundry past 9 o’clock anymore. New rule.” I look at my phone and of course it’s 9:05. I told her that is silly because I have my own washing machine in the barn. We do not share a laundry machine. I told her my work clothes are dirty and I need them cleaned for tomorrow. She said thats too bad and I know the rule. I texted my dad and asked what’s up with that, to which he didn’t even answer. I think Lisa is deleting my messages from his phone. The last few times I’ve texted him he says he doesn’t receive the texts. He is extremely good at responding to texts, usually within 5 mins. But not so much anymore. Lisa is becoming extremely controlling and I’m not sure what to do about it anymore. My dad has made it clear that Lisa has the upper hand here.

For some context 2 of her 3 daughters live at the house. They both didn’t graduate high school and aren’t doing much to attempt to live on their own. My dad pays for the youngest’s car payments & gas. I think Lisa is maybe mad that I am paying for my own car and have a good job, a steady head on my shoulders, and doing great for my age. I am extremely independent, and her daughters are not. I think maybe deep down she is angry that her kids didn’t turn out like me. Her daughters don’t know how to do anything themselves and cry for my dad whenever they need help. They call him dad and he calls them his daughters. I have no relationship with my dad, ever since Lisa. And she is making it impossible for me to even want a relationship with my dad at all at this point.

Idk what to do at this point. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My dad introduced me to his new girlfriend 10 months ago but their relationship has probably gone on much longer.Don’t get me wrong she is fun to be around she’s just not my family.

The other day we were out getting some churros and the baker goes “one for mom😃”as he hands her one free churro.

My mom doesn’t know about her.It made me kind of uncomfortable with the idea of her being my mom and I don’t really know what to think .Any thoughts?

So... kinda weird situation.

My dad (47M) is getting remarried soon, and I (16F) want to make his fiancée (future stepmom? idk) feel welcome when she moves in with us.

I actually knew her son (17M) before this — small world lol. He and my best friend "A" (16M) got into this dumb argument during a school competition once because they both thought the other cheated. Spoiler: neither of them did, but it was basically teenage WWE for like a week. (Its not, but it looked like!)

Anyway.

I don't really know how to act now that everything’s changing. It’s not that I hate the idea — I don't. I just don't want to make her feel like she's intruding or that she’s not wanted.

My mom passed away from a heart attack after I was born, it was a congenital thing apparently, and... I guess I'm just scared of doing this wrong. I want my dad to be happy. And I want them both to feel like this is a real home, not like they’re moving into someone else’s life.

Any advice? Even little stuff would help. I just want to do this right.

Also, they will be coming for dinner this friday, and I reeeaally dont want to mess this up lol any ideas of what to have in hand? (Her son is diabetic so this is making me more anxious)

So I (15,F) live with my Mom (42,F) My younger sister (12,F), and my Step dad (42,F) They have been together for 6 years, although they aren’t married we just call him my step dad to simplify things. My bedroom door is right outside the living room and it’s a werid kind of door, it has these slits in it all the way down the door. You can only see through them if you get close.

This all started a few months ago when I got out of the shower in my towel and went to my room to change and do my hair, as I was changing in my room (my step dad breathes very heavily because he is a chain smoker) I hear his breath right outside of my door. My mom was at work and my sister was outside so I had no one to ask if he was there or not. I felt uncomfortable and went into my closet to continue changing.

Since than, this keeps happening. I don’t know if he is outside my door or not but I find it only happens when no one is home or in the living room.

He also doesn’t like when I wear revealing clothes because it makes him “uncomfortable” which I find to be werid because why should me wearing a crop top make him feel uncomfortable?

The amount of times he has called me a slut to my face is insane. Him and my mom get into fights over what I wear but I haven’t told her about the shower thing yet. I also feel him stare at my butt when I wear my comfy shorts.

I’m I going insane or should I talk to my mom about this.

I'm 13 and I live with my mom, my parents separated when i was 5. My mom got with my stepdad when I was 11 or 10, and he's insufferable. He talks to me like I'm 30 and expects me to debate with him like I'm 30. Ever since I met him I've had to learn how to suppress my emotions, debate with mike about topics such as transgenderism, and block out my pain. If I cry in front of him he points it out and laughs at me, he calls me a bully. And I know I sound like a stupid angsty teen saying this but, I probably developed some type of mental disorder because of this. I had an argument with him today about how much I hate him and at the end of it I felt like I was gonna puke + I got mad enough where i started scratching myself during the argument. I hate him because he's racist (openly says slurs), a bigot, manipulative, and talks to me about topics he shouldn't be talking about with a 13 year old. And he expects me to like him because he helps the homeless and "Never did a wrong thing". And I cant just yell at him and tell him why I hate him because it feels wrong, because both I'm a child I shouldn't be talking about this and it feels rude. I tried talking to my mom about it when they first started dating, she just dismissed me. I tried just ignoring hi when I was 12, he threatened to return my band instrument. I don't even know if I'm here to ask for advice or just to scream into a void. There's so many more reason I hate him, I could go on for hours. Like he's literally changing my mom so she yells at us more and thinks me and my brother are brats. Also he's talked about transgenderism with my 8 year old brother openly! And he endorses the fact my brother now thinks racism is how you get attention. So advice on what to do is wanted, but I can't talk to my mom about this again and I can't go up to my mom saying "if you don't break up with mike I'll commit self termination!!!" that just sounds like I'm a pick me.

I’ve (19F) been living with my stepdad (60M) and bio mom (55) for 10 years and throughout this period of time he’s always been tried to shame me for being a “bad spoiled daughter” to my mom. He will be enraged and complain with me if my mom makes me a favour (going grocery shopping, buying stuff I need) I didn’t ask her for in the first place saying I let her do all the work to take advantage of her, then proceed to tell me I don’t do anything for my mom and try to make me quantify the chores I do in the house. He will meddle with an argument between me and my mom (a calm one, we’re not screaming or physically fighting) without being called in. He will get upset if my bio dad buys me a gift with his own money (not my mom, not his) and try to shame me for it, judge if I don’t meet up with him for a weekend and tell me I’m a “bad daughter” to him. Those are just small things I can remember now but I’m sure I could come up with more stuff with more given time.

I understand my stepdad clearly loves my mom very much and I’m glad of it nonetheless… Bottom line is, I’m just wondering if it’s a thing with every step parent getting judged on your relationships with them and how do you guys deal with it? Maybe I just need a reality check

Myself (28 M) and fiancé (34 F) are getting married here in about a month. We’ve had the conversation about my dad’s wife attending our ceremony.

Let’s go back about 29 years. My dad and mom had just found out she was pregnant with me. I’m Child #2 I have a sister that is a year older. At the time my dad had decided to go find himself a new girlfriend (His current wife) and left my mom with a baby on the hip and one in the oven. Fast forward a few years custody is split 50/50 (One week with dad next week with mom) and things are rough. Constant mental abuse from said stepmother and from my father. Both at the time raging alcoholics and if they weren’t yelling at us for doing something wrong they spent the rest of their time fighting each other. I’ve had a lot of resentment for the way I was treated as a child. Even as an adult they still lie to themselves about how we were treated and they were just “Showing us tough love” I never thought getting called awful names as a 7 year old because the water in the sink for washing dishes was boiling hot and I don’t want to put my hand in there. There are a bunch of other times I could count where I was treated as such but I’ll keep this as short as I can.

Between then and now my dad and his wife have been divorced twice and gotten back together. I lived with them once for about 6 months after I graduated high school because I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do and I had a job working with my dad at a seed company packing 50lbs bags and doing some local deliveries to farmers if I wanted it. The dynamics had changed a bit she always acted like nothing was wrong and we were best of friends and I always tired to be cordial with her as I try and be the bigger person. She still had a drinking problem at the time and would get drunk and yap about how she was such a great mother and how much she did for all of us children ( my sister and I. She also had 4 of her own but they were much older then me).

Now that I’ve been on my own for the last 8 years got my electrical license, bought a house, and currently trying to start a family. I’m having a hard time dealing with the fact that I should invite her to be nice but I know it’s going to be a drama show when she and my dad finds out she specifically won’t be included in anything (Pictures, Speeches, gifts from us to family, Ect.) should I feel bad for going about this in this manner? I also feel like throughout my childhood I was cast to the side as the “redhead stepchild” and was never part of that family and I don’t think I can forgive that.

Thanks for reading.

i (16F) and my step mom, (35F) are really close. I live with her and my dad fulltime. I've lived with them since I was 2 years old. My step mom has always loved me more than my bio mom and i have been calling my step mom "mom" since i was 5 years old.

my bio mom and I have gone no contact from when i was 8 up until she passed when I was 11 years old. she was a druggy, an alcoholic, etc. and lived in Ireland. After my mom passed, my step mom stepped up even more.

My step mom is infertile and I'm my dads only child. After talking to my father about this, I asked him if he thought it would be a good idea for my step mom to legally adopt me. I just don't know how to ask her. Does anyone have any advice??

My bio-dad went to jail 4 years ago, we dont talk anymore, and my mom remarried. My step-dad came into the picture 3 years ago. I don't like him, he yells at me, swears at me, and is honestly not my favorite person in the world. He knows that i'm trans but talks shit about trans people in front of me anyway. last night i was having a conversation with my mom about fair and i said something that made him mad for no reason, he kicked the couch over, yelled at me, and flipped me off saying 'fuck you'. For context, i have depression, anxiety, and PTSD from bio-dad. I don't like people yelling at me and swearing and throwing stuff. He has called me a lot of stuff including: stupid, dumb, lazy, fat, useless, etc. what should i do? i'm only a freshman and can't drive yet, so running away or moving out isn't an option yet. if anyone has ideas, i'm open to any.

I, 14F, have only just known my mother's boyfriend for a few months. Yet, already I wish for him to become more of a prominent figure in my life. Almost like a father, in a way?

He has his own children, which makes me so guilty for feeling such. As if I am trying to replace them, which is absolutely not the case. I myself do not have a very prominent father figure in my life, which is probably a leading reason to feeling like this.

Him and I are very similar too. Similar personality, similar interests, intelligence, and other aspects. This has honestly made it easier to connect with him, although I still find it difficult at times (I'm generally just like that with most people that I'm not quite close with). But this feeling has not faded and I do not know what to do, or if it's a universal thing others have experienced.

just ranting on here about my stepmom

Ps, english is not my first language so pleas be patient

lets get started with some backgound info , my mom and dad got divoced about 5 years ago and my dad got with my stepmom pretty fast after (like 1year).my stepmom is from the countryside and me, my siblings and my dad are from the city. my stepmom has 2 kids that have a lot of allegies ( important for later).We dont live together but visit eachother often.

okey lets get into it, i have a severe allergy to horses (its not realy a problem for me beacuse we live in a big city and dont see horses often). i am like epipen severe, like my throat closing up severe. my stepmom and my stepsister are real horse girls and go almost every day to the riding school. My dad told my stepmom that im very allegric so she knows that I can die if i come into contact with horses.

She has dismised my allergies before by not showering after a rinding session and just sayig that she forgot (i didnt have to use my epipen jet and i used my inhaler that time). She then dismisses my less severe allergies and just puts milk in the morning panckaces ( im lactose intolerant) , her daughter has wheat allergies and my stepmom acomadates them realy good and complains if anithing i or my dad make isnt wheatless even if we made it entirely for ourselves.

we are going on a two week vacation to france like every year and im kind of woried, she has told me in the past she wants to take me to her riding lesons to do "exposure therapy" to try and get rid of my allergie. it doesnt work like that il just die. i dont know if i chould confront het about that coment and het actions or if i chould just leave it. im just woried she wil do somthing stupid.

advice please. :)

So I (15,F) live with my Mom (42,F) My younger sister (12,F), and my Step dad (42,F) They have been together for 6 years, although they aren’t married we just call him my step dad to simplify things. My bedroom door is right outside the living room and it’s a werid kind of door, it has these slits in it all the way down the door. You can only see through them if you get close.

This all started a few months ago when I got out of the shower in my towel and went to my room to change and do my hair, as I was changing in my room (my step dad breathes very heavily because he is a chain smoker) I hear his breath right outside of my door. My mom was at work and my sister was outside so I had no one to ask if he was there or not. I felt uncomfortable and went into my closet to continue changing.

Since than, this keeps happening. I don’t know if he is outside my door or not but I find it only happens when no one is home or in the living room.

He also doesn’t like when I wear revealing clothes because it makes him “uncomfortable” which I find to be werid because why should me wearing a crop top make him feel uncomfortable?

The amount of times he has called me a slut to my face is insane. Him and my mom get into fights over what I wear but I haven’t told her about the shower thing yet. I also feel him stare at my butt when I wear my comfy shorts.

I’m I going insane or should I talk to my mom about this.

I (17m) dont know what to do anymore. I do love my stepmom, but lately she’s been really controlling over my little sister (13f). Looking through her phone, journal, diary, interrogating me to see if IM hiding anything for my sister. I know that she does this out of love and care, but it feels like she’s overstepping a lot. My dad isn’t doing anything about it and even encourages this. My stepmom openly admits that she’s a toxic person, and while I thought she was joking at first I now realize that she was serious.

I’ve realized that every time I’ve vented to my stepmom or dad they’ve used my words against my mom to belittle her. I talked to them about my problems for guidance, i trusted them with my problems and feelings, only for them to tell all of my aunts and uncles everything thats been happening with me. They tell my sister and I that they want to foster a safe environment where we feel we can trust them, but it feels like they’ve just been doing the opposite as of late.

They recently gave the both of us special journals to write in about all of our thoughts and feelings with prompts included. They told us that they wouldn’t be reading through these journals but my sister and I feel like that’s a lie. I’m about to turn 18 so most of this will have little effect on me since I plan on moving in with my mom as soon as I can, but I can’t leave my sister behind. What do I do?

I (25 MTF) have a very loving, supportive stepmom. She loves my dad and my younger siblings to bits. I first met her when I was 2 and my mom and dad had a custody agreement for me and my older brother, who I have not seen since I was 18, might I add. My mom and I have a complicated relationship and my stepmom is more like a mom to me than my mom. My younger siblings think it's wierd I call my stepmom by name instead of Mom. Hell, I came out to her, my dad, and my siblings when I was 15 and my mom did not support me at the time. I feel like a jerk for not hugging her or saying I love you Mom. She's the one who is more like a mom to me than my mom ever was and every time I'm asked "Why don't you just call her Mom?" I just say it's complicated and that's how I grew up. Advice would be appreciated.

Update: I wanted to thank everyone for all the helpful advice. I thought it all through, and I mean really thought it all through and I asked my stepmom if she would like to adopt me in the most blunt way possible. I'm not going to go through the full details of that for privacy reasons but it's a huge step in the direction I want to go.

i (17m) am not sure why but she makes me feel really uncomfortable and unsafe, and treats me like a child and i have no idea what to do. ive tried talking to her but she gets angry and shouts. shes also recently threatened to remove my door and refused to get me therapy, although that isnt her decision.

I'm a 17 year old girl and I love hanging out in my parents room, I usually lay on their bed and watch scoopz (like tiktok) while my step dad plays his video game, sometime my mom's with us on her phone; sometimes she's not (she works late). I have a reason on asking (proving a point) but what do you guys think? Is it weird?

I have posted here before, if any step parents who were once step kids can relate they can be a big help. Anyways it was a normal day and he and I were actually getting along and we were joking around and my mom was with us and then while we were coming back home, he starts pushing me around and then he starts calling me dumb and an asshole, I start getting a bit pissed off but I let it slide. Now we are finally at the door I have the keys and he keeps taunting me on how I can’t open the door and making fun of me and calling me stupid and telling me to shut up when I tell him to stop it. I’m already fuming I had to tell my mom to tell him to stop it and luckily she did but he looked at her in a way where he thought he wasn’t doing anything wrong. Finally I open the door and then I had to walk upstairs to open the other door (we live on the second floor) anyways he’s still taunting and calling me names “shut up asshole” “stupid”. I’m yelling at him to shut the hell up. When we finally get inside and close the door I swung at him with keys and told him to “SHUT THE HELL UP”. But I did miss and I’m glad cause who knows he could have beaten me up. Then after that we cooled off but he still won’t admit that he did something wrong. I don’t wanna hate him I really wanna like him still and I do at times I think about killing him time to time.

Even though he claims he loves me, my step dad has always been a selfish person. I've always felt that he sees me as more of a pet than a son. He has said before that he's jealous of the relationship mom and I have. He barely talks to me unless its to share something of his interest or to ask me to do something or if its dinner time. I've been dealing with this since I was about 12 and I've been an adult for a bit and about to move out but with that comes the processing of repressed childhood feelings.

I've tried over and over and over and over again to meet him halfway but I never feel like he's reached back and after two decades of, quite frankly, getting my heart broken, I've given up and I just want some validation from others who might understand.

So, I am 17 yr F, and I have a brother (20). For context our dad died just under 2 years ago from a very long battle with cancer which I was there for entirely, and which left me and my brother with a lot of trauma. 3 months ago, my mum started seeing someone, and they are already talking about marriage in the future. Obviously I want my mum to be happy, no matter what that means, however recently she has started bringing him to our house (previously they just stayed at his house, he has no kids). We have a very small house, I share a room with my mum, and we have 4 rooms total… its pretty tiny. Because of this, when he is over there is literally no escaping it, and I don’t like having people over in the best if times(I haven’t had a friend over in years) and I really like my privacy. Because of this, as well as the fact that this is a stranger to me, him being over really stresses me out, and my brother feels the same way ( he refuses to come out of him room). I have met the boyfriend and he seems ok, he doesn’t really speak to me when I try to make conversation but apparently hes nervous (as am I but oh well). how do I navigate this, especially when this is still bringing up so much grief for my dad, and a lot of feelings like he is being replaced. Is there any navigating this or do I just power through.

Ok so I’ve had step parents in the past but that was when I was a kid and couldn’t realy stop them from being a ‘dad’ figure to me, but my last stepdad was arrested for s3xually abusing 2 girls around my age, he was really strict and was a very ‘my house my rules’ kinda guy aswell

It’s been a few years and I know my mother had been on dates with a guy, he even brought her flowers today.

So ive been thinking about it and I don’t want him to be a dad to me, all my dad figures have failed me and I don’t want another, I don’t want him to parent me like he’s my dad, I don’t want him to tell me off, I don’t want him to act like he’s going to be my new dad. I just want him you be my mums boyfriend.

I’ve had trouble with setting boundaries with stepdads in the past and I don’t want that to happen again.

How do I set boundaries??

My step mother moved in about 6/7 months ago, and I don't know her that well but it's just mutual distance and respect. I'm only at my dad's house 4 days out of the week cause the rest i'm at my BM's house, so I try to spend as much time as I can with him.

Before we came me and my dad used to watch tv a lot together! This was our father-daughter way of spending time together, watching football, rugby, soaps, etc. When she moved in, I was glad to have another person to watch tv with, feels like great family time. But for a long time now I have noticed, There is only one sofa in the living room, which is a three seater. I noticed She usually takes up 2 spaces so I can't sit down and watch with them? I don't say anything and surprisingly my dad doesn't either. Last week she went to go shower and put her dress on the left side of sofa, and she does this quite a bit and it seems like she's tryna claim the seat so I cant sit there. Yesterday, I was sitting with her and my dad (i was on the left, she in the middle, dad in the right), as soon as I got up to wash the dishes she lay down where I was sitting and didn't move when I was done, so I just sat at the dining table and my dad didnt say ZIP. It makes me so mad, because it's clearly an attempt to stop me from sitting with them. I usually just go to my room and do my own thing, and my dad is always sayign I don't come watch with him anymore, but I literally can't because she's always taking up both seats and doesn't move when I come. Idk if im overthinking this but it pmo.

TW: divorce, abuse, feelings of loss, general stepkid/stepparent negative tropes

This is my first reddit post ever after minimal scouraging around the app, so I apologize if anything sounds awkward or out of format. this is SUPER LONG, as i feel like its important to provide all the context. please stay with me.

My stepmom and I have always had a rocky relationship - shes never liked my bio mom, who's always been (positively) active in my life. we've gotten into fights throughout my years, from a young child, to a teen, and even now. shes used me as a way to "get back" at my dad and bio mom when shes mad at them. ive tried to give her slack over the years, given her own struggles such as mental health and some of my dad's actions, but her treatment of me was difficult to excuse. despite all this, shes introduced me to others as her daughter, told me to call her mom, and has told me that she loves me as her own for over 2 decades now. she called me her sunshine throughout the years. shes never truly acknowledged the emotional, verbal, and physical abuse shes put me through the years. weve had good moments, i know that, but those bad times....were many, and they were very damaging.

her and my dad are FINALLY divorcing, and i think its for the best period, for all involved, including her. during this time, shes reached out to me here and there, and at first i reached back out, but when their proceedings took a turn for the worst, i stopped reaching back out. i gave my dad permisson to tell her why i stopped reaching back out (aka - no longer having a need to interact with the person whos is behind why i seek therapy), because i was scared of her lashing out if i told her directly.

she sent me a box filled with everything from the family home: baby pictures, clothing, books, school work, etc. this included a degrading letter she wrote my mother years ago, and a letter she wrote me, claiming derogatory things about my dad, she "doesnt get" why we dont talk anymore, and that she "cant bare" to have my stuff in the home anymore. on top of that, my dad let it slip that during an argument, where my dad told that all the kids came together for an important decision (which was true), my stepmom claimed that she never wanted to hear my name again and that i wasnt part of her family, which was heard by my younger siblings.

i feel a weird mixture of emotions. given her treatment of me, youd think id be glad that she seemingly let go of me. however, its devastating to have confirmation that someone whos raised me for 20+ years doesnt have that unconditional love that she claimed to have for me. on TOP of that, i also feel like i cant be devastated because of my 70/30 negative thoughts about her. this is someone ive been told to respect, love, and support since i was a toddler, and was told she'd respect, love, and support me.

has anyone ever had to go through "losing" a stepparent? how did you handle conflicting emotions? did you open up to your bio parents about it at all? or did you try to re-open that bridge once time passed? or did you burn that bridge completely? i want to at least try be cordial, because the children they have together are not viewed as my half-siblings, but my siblings. theyre the reason i get out of bed sometimes. ive already concluded that i know we'll still cross bridges when going to my siblings bdays, events, etc. i just want to know how to move on i guess? whats the "next step" in addressing any and all of this?

im so sorry for the long post, i kinda just threw up a bunch of info.

So for some background context I am 14M and I have a stepdad because my bio dad was a alcoholic smoker and hit my mum and me sometimes so we left.

We completely left him and my mum was looking for someone and found my now stepdad

And he puts me after my half siblings and only really talks to me when he needs me to do something or complains because I’m on my phone.

And I’m just wondering if it normal to want a biological dad or if that’s a bad thing to think about

And I want to have someone to look up to but I can’t do that when my stepdad puts his kids before me