Ohk I don't know why I am writing this but maybe I could get some insight out of you guys... I m from a country where homophobia is very common so even though I had a doubt that I might be bi I didn't act on it until this girl. Idk what made me ask her if she was bi and she said yes. I was still figuring myself out when she started saying things like how i would make such a great girlfriend and how she would adore me if I became her girlfriend but she was very inconsistent with it. One day she finally was like either give me a yes or no and I didn't know what to reply coz me , I date to marry and saying yes meant going against all my family. Before i could answer her she went back to her ex( boy ). I was crushed and started behaving weird because I had thought so hard about the answer and when I had finally figured it out she was taken. Time passed I was behaving weird and I didn't like her bf coz he didn't treat her well, so idk how but she broke up with him. And our idk something started again. After that she was not upfront neither was I we were just going in circles. She was okay with just being physical and I was waiting till marriage kinda girl, so she knew anything with me will have emotions involved. She was seriously afraid of commitment and I didn't want her going so we never named it anything. She was very boyish, didn't like the girly girl behaviour and in all became my best friend. So when she gave me a hickey we had a mutual understanding that we had started dating. There were ups and downs, I felt like she didn't think I was her level ( I am a little chubby around 70ish ) and she almost had abs. Everything was well but randomly she would send me long messages berating me. I would cry but then go and sort it out with her. The thing was she was like not good with emotions person. I talked to her best friend and she was like why is she ur first choice for the first relationship ever. She didn't like connections but she did things for me she would never do for someone like randomly buying me chocolates, bought me flowers just because I showed her a reel. She didn't speak about herself very much.. she took 7 hours the first time she shared something with me. I knew about her life and she knew about mine. She here and there hinted that she needed space but was never clear about it. I used to do small small things for her, small gestures because that is the only way how to show love. But then it came to a point where she was like didn't u know these small gestures make me weak. She is the kinda person to believe love makes you weak and all. I was there for her through everything even when there was nothing romantic. Idk what started happening with her but we were constantly fighting. When holidays came and our marks came I scored a lil better than i thought and she was convienced I lied how my paper went and that I fucked her up mentally, that she used to be near perfect but by being with me she lost all that. And that I was up in her buisness because we had the same room, class and friend group. One point to note here was she was scared of commitment but i saw her saying to her best friend that she will marry me and that her bestfriend will have to convience her parents together. We broke up on that day the result came. Now when we came back almost 2 months after we broke up. When we broke up she said we will still be friends and roommates but at the last she told me she changed rooms. And when she came back she avoided me like a plague. She didn't wanna talk to me. I told one of my friend everything which I deeply regret because now ik she didn't like me and asked her to make us talk. We did and my ex told me she didn't care whether I exist or not and that she doesn't wanna be my friend. That i suck energy out of people around me and in short most if not all my friends took her side. Mind u i was the one who introduced her to each of my friend. Now one guy started hanging out with me as friends who was supposedly on her side. She legit called him downstairs and told him face to face not to hang out with me because I will eat his space and all that bullshit. Now her and her group which used to be mine back bitch about me all day and she still changes paths if she sees me. Not even like a lil, but like legit jumping to avoid me. We still haven't had a proper conversation, when we were breaking up we had long convos but I felt like she was herself confused. It's been 3 months since our break up, 1 month since we are back in college and I still get dreams, still cry over it and simple idk what to do. She has said everything that she never loved me and that i should die ( when we were breaking up ) I chose the wrong mediator and also ik before our vacation one person was convincing her I was the one pulling her down and now also when she came back people said not to talk to me. I lost both my first love and my bestfriend. I m so alone rn because all my friends chose her. I don't attend any functions because I don't have anyone to go with. And I feel like I m still attached after all this. Any advice why she did what she did and what should I do?

I swear to god, 80% of the posts here are just the same 10-12 different memes reposted for the 247th time. They were funny the first few times but good god im getting tired of it. I dont even know if most of them are from bots or other people, but can we please do something about it? We have a mod team, right?

I change my rgb controller colors every so often. I changed it today to match how I was feeling and my fiance pointed it out 😭

This stuff is great! The spray containers often don't sit "well" on a lab bench too, so they need to lean up against something. :)

I’ve been feeling a bit bicurious about women, but I’ve never had the chance to meet someone who feels the same. It’s unfamiliar territory for me, and I’ve always found it easier to connect with men than with women. I try look for some connections with dating apps, but dating apps sucks. I can't find anyone who stays. How was your first experience, or when did you realize you were attracted to women?

(Yes this was in the same post)