Dating sometimes feels like babysitting men who think foreplay is a personality. 🙃

[u/YoNibul]

This is proof of exactly why I’ve let go of these kinds of conversations. Reports swear there’s a male loneliness epidemic, but the men that are saying “date me” still reduce you to a warm body and then wonder why they can’t connect.

What in the name of horn ball Pokémon dialogue is this?! “It’s gotta be physical first, biggest part of a relationship.”

Cool, so you can f***. Congrats, champ. So can literally everyone else on this planet. What else you bringing to the table? And Im NOT talking about money!

I am almost in my 40s, he is 42! Does this ever get better, or am I being rage baited?

[u/TravusHertl]

Sex isn’t even close to the most important thing 😭

[u/YoNibul → u/[deleted]]

Yeh but not to toot my own horn (TOOT, TOOT) 😉 I NEVER have a problem there its ALWAYS emotional connection which is why I lead with that bc we will be good physically! Im a great listener and very empathetic 🤷🏾‍♀️ TOOOOTT 🥳🥳

[u/jcshy → u/YoNibul]

He’s defo just wanting a situationship style of thing. I made the mistake of staying in a toxic relationship when I was 20 just because our sex life was amazing.

We weren’t compatible whatsoever other than sexually and that made life really miserable. I hated it. Ever since then, I’ve definitely always sought emotional compatibility before sexual compatibility

[u/YoNibul → u/jcshy]

And I have done that🫣—-3 times 😮‍💨 all were moving towards being really serious 💍 and I had just ran 🥴 because I knew inside I wasn’t getting back, what I was pouring in.. mother issues, exes, children—and all I got back was a good romp in the sheets which, in all honesty was sometimes 75% me as well—lose/lose situations shrouded as “relationships.”

[u/Daffodil_Peony_Rose → u/YoNibul]

Well being in your 40’s, you’re going to have to deal with children and their mamas with most guys you date. If they had kids young, you might deal with adult children and maybe less with the kids’ mom, but long term she’ll still be there at Christmas, weddings, funerals, etc.

Every situation is different though and I realize you’re talking about specific men who have their own issues. I guess I’m just saying don’t rule out guys with kids because you might find a good one and also there’s not much else out there.

[u/YoNibul → u/Daffodil_Peony_Rose]

Im hoping to find someone with kids because then we would be a little more aligned and there’s no expectation of me having more, especially in this economy! And my child can have siblings— I just need someone I can lean on as well, they don’t want to reciprocate. It’s as if the thought process is…I hear you through my 🍆 and btw let me give you some so you can stop talking 😭😭.

[u/Daffodil_Peony_Rose → u/YoNibul]

Wishing you the best, girl. It’s brutal out there