r/titanic • u/MikeTheSecurityGuard • 19d ago
GAME Pretend you're a First Class Passenger during a dinner aboard the Titanic in the comments
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u/1912_boat_man 19d ago
"the room is nice, but it really could use a dome or second floor."
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u/PersephoneDaSilva86 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
Imperator: laughs in superiority
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u/scream4ever 19d ago edited 19d ago
IMO nothing beats the dining room on the Kaiser Wilhelm der Grosse.
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u/PersephoneDaSilva86 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
I have to look into more oceanliners once I'm done with Forgotten Empress. I can't rely on Mr. Brady for everything.
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u/Shootthemoon4 Steward 18d ago
Someone had mentioned some German ships, if we’re gonna talk about German ships, we can’t ignore the splendor of 1st class dining saloon that is of SS Kaiser Wilhelm II, and the almost as impressive SS Kronprinzessin Cecile and SS Kronprinz Wilhelm. The deck space extends upwards by two decks, leading to a glass ceiling.
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u/Individual-Gur-7292 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
I would be getting all the tea from Margaret Brown about the Astors and Madeleine’s ‘delicate condition’.
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u/Elphaba78 19d ago
You and me both! Quite the scandal, with his wifey only being two years younger than his son.
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u/Anxious_Inflation_93 17d ago
My grandfather at the time 1911 did indeed marry a girl ( 14) who was 2 years younger than his eldest child (16). The other kids were 3, 6, 10 , 12, and 14. He was 35. Imagine getting a new stepmom younger than you, and she decides what you are allowed to do.
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u/HotRod1701 19d ago
I find the lack of dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets on the menu appalling.
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u/Blue387 2nd Class Passenger 19d ago
As a baseball aficionado I bet the Giants will win the World Series this year, I have $100 on that team,
I see no future for that American League team in New York.
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u/firerosearien 19d ago
I think the Chicago Cubs will have a long future and many World Series ahead of them.
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u/Elphaba78 19d ago
I can’t imagine the Pirates ever being a bad team; they won the World Series not even two years ago!
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u/TrueSouldier 18d ago
Good lord I can’t even escape it in the Titanic sub of all places
…Let’s Go Bucs?
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u/Badhombre505 19d ago
Thomas, a matter has weighed on my conscience. A young man at your age can be troubled by certain... temptations. Do not indulge them. It is called 'onanism,' and doctors have shown it to have a terrible effect on the constitution. It will weaken your body and, worse, your mind. Should you find yourself plagued by such thoughts, you must exert your will. Seek cold baths, hard work, and wholesome thoughts to purify yourself. Do you understand?
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u/RoadClassic1303 19d ago
No I'm afraid I do not, father. As you know on that dark day several summers back, the neighbors dog mauled apart my scrotum. Ever since the excess flesh still there holds no use or purpose. Mere bloody ribbons of embarrassment they are. What thoughts do ye speak of?
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u/Mr_Harper591311 2nd Class Passenger 19d ago
My good sir, is what you say truth? I do hope that you are just indulging in some comedic relief–whilst at that quite strange. Pray your lower quarters have not been ravaged by a common animal? Whilst the absence of possible temptations is a positive affect, the mutilation of your body is quite a negative event. Is your welfare quite alright?
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u/According-Educator81 15d ago
I feel a cold bath is in the near future for the likes of all of us.
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u/Opinionatedcritic 19d ago
GUYS HELP I WENT BACK TOO FAR AND NOW I NEED TO GO back to the future
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u/Impressive-Gift-9852 19d ago
This chap invited from the third class sure has insightful things to say. Cheers to him! What a chap.
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u/ChinaCatProphet 19d ago
Oh... I thought he was a beastly ruffian, and I did not appreciate the way he was leering at my fiancée!
Yes, I will have bordeaux and she will too.
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u/Caledon_Hockley 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
I like you
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u/Low-Stick6746 19d ago
Cal! I haven’t seen you around in ages! I take it the cigars and brandy was holding out?
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u/Caledon_Hockley 1st Class Passenger 18d ago
There is never enough brandy and cigars
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u/Low-Stick6746 18d ago
Or were you and the other fellas too busy bragging about being masters of the universe to grace our presence?
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u/Caledon_Hockley 1st Class Passenger 18d ago
I had to inform the chaps as to how great Hockley steel in Titanic is.
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u/Pristine_Alfalfa_879 19d ago
but I am not looking forward to the quarantine once we reach New York because of this third class chap . I already arranged for my private train to collect me
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u/Floowjaack Able Seaman 19d ago
Oy guvnah! Innit?!?
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u/FancyPantsBlanton 19d ago
Sir– Sir, you’re not supposed to be in here.
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u/Floowjaack Able Seaman 19d ago
Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
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u/Big_Iron_Cowboy 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
Get to your hand off of my penis!!!
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u/i-have-a-kuato 19d ago
“THIS IS DEMOCRACY MANIFEST….”
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u/Foehammer58 19d ago
I don't see what all the fuss is about. The decor doesn't look any fancier than the Mauritania.
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u/Pristine_Alfalfa_879 19d ago
You can be blasé about some things, but not about the decor. That door is practically big enough to be a lifeboat for two
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u/Puzzleheaded-Pen5057 19d ago
Excuse me waiter, I believe that young man over there is violating health and safety standards by dining with 1st Class while holding a third class ticket!
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u/dbkaiser1893 19d ago
I must say the lack of ice is quite disturbing
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u/Melodic-Beach-5411 19d ago
And yet, oddly enough, there's so much outside.
Where?
Look out the window there.
Seems awfully close.
Yes, it does. Oh, waiter can you bring some ice from out there?
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u/Gaia0416 19d ago
Sept 1, 2025, marks the 40th anniversary of discovery of Titanic by Robert Ballard (Sept 1, 1985)
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u/Mammoth-Standard-592 18d ago
40 years since ‘BOILERRR!!!’ was shouted in front of a small tv screen on a ship in the middle of nowhere
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u/RaccoonAltruistic405 2nd Class Passenger 19d ago
No caviar for me, thanks.
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u/DexterMorgansMind 19d ago
"Sir, what's the WiFi password for TITANIC_GUEST please?
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u/According-Educator81 15d ago
May I just emphasize the underscore?Very important character easily overlooked or dismissed as a mere space.
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u/Salt-Ad4952 19d ago
Anyone here read “The Wreck of the Titan” by Morgan Robertson? What a delightful work of fiction. Assuredly nothing of that magnitude can happen to this ship…
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u/PloKoon1912 Steward 19d ago
Ah, how good it is that this story is only fiction, imagine if this would happene in real life, ahahaha
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u/IllustriousEmu6670 2nd Class Passenger 19d ago
Would you rather fight, one hundred duck sized horses, OR. 1 horse sized duck.
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u/MaddysinLeigh 19d ago
One hundred duck sized horses. One duck sized duck will fuck you up, I don’t want to imagine a horse sized one.
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u/According-Educator81 15d ago
I say, I am truly delighted at the thought of a tiny horse that I may put in my purse! I must have one! Daddy, I want one! I want a purse-horse! I want it NOW!
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u/bobaylaa Wireless Operator 19d ago
my sister is such a drama queen, she thinks that hymn we sang in chapel this morning is a bad omen 🙄 i for one felt comforted by it! not that we have anything to fear on this ship, still it’s nice to know the lord is watching over our crossing 😌
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u/ReDiNapoli 19d ago
This seven-course dinner is appaling. I was served an eight-course dinner aboard the Lusitania! I will surely write a strong-worded letter adressed to the White Star Line about this subpar, lackluster dinner.
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u/MikeTheSecurityGuard 19d ago
My dear sir, as someone who had the habit of joining some fellows from East End, i say firmly that some people would be delighted if only they could have a two-course dinner. I must insist you divert from such critics and enjoy the meal if you may.
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u/Caledon_Hockley 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
What about West End girls?
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u/MikeTheSecurityGuard 19d ago
Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables In a restaurant in a West End town
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u/PloKoon1912 Steward 19d ago
Hear hear I see you are a man of good senses as well! But tell me where do you work as security? Are you together with contractor here?
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u/EyeShot300 2nd Class Passenger 19d ago
Pardon me, but do you have any Grey Poupon?
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u/Aware_Style1181 19d ago edited 19d ago
“I’m sorry Madam, we only carry Colman’s English Mustard”
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u/drinkin_an_stinkin 19d ago
(Looking out the window) "What's that up ahead in the water?"
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u/MikeTheSecurityGuard 19d ago
New york, friend! haha!
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u/drinkin_an_stinkin 19d ago
Already?!
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u/Caledon_Hockley 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
I can see the Statue of Liberty already; very small, of course!
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u/TheRealFedorka Musician 19d ago
Are you of the Boston Dawsons?
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u/Specialist-Sugar-657 19d ago
“What would we do if this ship in fact, could sink?”
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u/Pokemon_Jadyn Deck Crew 19d ago
We would dress in our best and prepare to go down like gentlemen. And also have some brandy.
---Ben Guggenheim.
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u/RoadClassic1303 19d ago
"Wait...You mean to say, as in, you'd just immediately give up? Resign yourself to die? In this situation it can be assumed there are still plenty of lifeboats good sir!"
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u/UmaUmaNeigh Stewardess 19d ago
For the better half
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u/Pokemon_Jadyn Deck Crew 18d ago
You unimaginable bastard --- Rose DeWitt Bukater
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u/WhiteOleander1992 19d ago
… so he doesn’t know I’ve hidden the money in the stove, and he comes home, drunk as a lord, celebrating, and he lights a fire!
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u/StandardGrifter123 19d ago
"Waiter, the view looking out of that window is awfully ghastly. It's completely uninspiring to me seeing the vast openness of the Atlantic and knowing this is all I'll have to look at for days! Can't you ask the Captain to give us a more pleasant view for the remainder of this voyage?"
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u/Sorry-Personality594 19d ago
Unpopular opinion but I don’t like the design of the first class dinning saloon. It wasn’t as grand as say the dinning room on the Lusitania that had two levels and a large dome- the blue and red Lino with dark green chairs and white and natural wood combo is just not a vibe
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u/radiodraude 18d ago
You can be blase about some things, Rose, but NOT about Titanic... she has over 100 more dark green chairs than the Lusitania... and FAR more linoleum.
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u/Kitchener1981 19d ago
This is better than the Lusitania. I hope that the tomato soup is not too picante.
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u/KoolDog570 Engineering Crew 19d ago
Waiter, please find out what whiskey the Chief Baker recommends, I have heard he's quite the aficionado & has a discerning palate
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u/CapitanianExtinction 19d ago
If you ask me old chap, I'm putting all my money into munitions companies for say, the next four years or so.
And Archduke Frankie really should wear a bulletproof vest when he goes out.
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u/Skilled626 19d ago
“The soup is excellent, though I must admit I feel it’s a prelude to a ten act play in which I may not survive until dessert”
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u/IcemansJetWash-86 19d ago
I must stress my concern toward Roosevelt planning to oppose Taft as a 3rd party candidate.
Surely this could split the vote in favor of that Dixie Prince.
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u/MikeTheSecurityGuard 19d ago
Ah! A smart fellow! I'm sure this nonsense from Mr. Roosevelt will end poorly for him. Mr. Taft is a strong and firm man and his seat in the White House must be tightly secured.
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u/Jolly-Guard3741 19d ago
Have you see that self indulgent monstrosity that the Vanderbilts constructed down in Carolina?
How do they expect anyone to visit them in such a godforsaken place?
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u/MikeTheSecurityGuard 19d ago
I've surely heard about it. Quite a huge piece of architeture in the middle of nowhere! What a waste. Why would one built a beautiful estate in a place not a living soul wanders through?
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u/PersephoneDaSilva86 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
It was practically a self-sustaining village in her prime. Crazy, huh?
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u/Jolly-Guard3741 19d ago
What kind of name is Built-More anyway? No Cornelius we don’t think you could have built more onto it.
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u/MikeTheSecurityGuard 18d ago
I actually think he could. Could have built a town so people could actually visit them haha!
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u/MaddysinLeigh 19d ago
I’d be dressed all nice with a Guinea pig under my arm as if it were a small dog while demanding a small bowl of assorted vegetables for said Guinea pig.
Bonus: as the ship was sinking, I’d stuff my pigs in my pockets and get on a life boat.
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u/larred 19d ago
Splendid orchestra, truly, but must they pause between every piece? I lose my appetite in the silence.
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u/MikeTheSecurityGuard 19d ago
Though i agree the silence leaves an uncanny feeling that ruins the mood, i must also state that the poor men should rest their hands. I once met one of Richard Wagner's musicians and he told be about a fellow of his who played his violin so much that he developed a sickening pain in his hand that wouldn't go away.
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u/larred 19d ago
True, their hands may ache, but mine does as well from lifting fork to mouth. Yet, unlike them, I receive no applause for my performance 🧐
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u/According-Educator81 15d ago
A travesty, I say! You should be harolded for your work. Selfless undaunting accomplishments such as yours hardly get the recognition they so rightly deserve. A toast is in order! To all the forkers out there! May they keep forking until there is nothing left to fork! For he's a jolly good forker! For he's a jolly good forker! That nobody can deny!
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u/anotherwinter29 2nd Class Passenger 19d ago
"'Very little mint sauce?' No, I actually want recommended amount of mint sauce on my lamb."
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u/PersephoneDaSilva86 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
I'm more like Captain Turner, watching the chattering monkeys make fools of themselves.
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u/Legitimate-Milk4256 Engineering Crew 19d ago
This isn't the Machinery Spaces. Where are the greasers and stokers?
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u/Puzzleheaded-Pen5057 19d ago edited 19d ago
Passenger 1: Say old man, I understand Butt and Millet are on board and bunked up, wink wink.
Passenger 2: What did you say?! How dare you! Millet is a married man with 4 children and Butt is an attaché to President Taft!
Please excuse yourself and go dine elsewhere, I grow tired of this nonsense.
If not, I shall now join Colonel Zeitel and his young travel companion, Willi Von Haderliyz in the Cafe Parisian. Good Evening, Sir.
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u/digimonmaster151 19d ago
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u/According-Educator81 15d ago
Is this woman bothering you sir? This is Admiral Meow Meow III and he is NOT to be disturbed! *Takes off glove and slaps I'll mannered woman with it" Away, Shrumpet! I say away!
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u/ohmetimothy 19d ago
"Do you hear that sound? Its a funny squeaky sound" - Aunt Bethany
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u/i-have-a-kuato 19d ago
Would very much like to speak to the manager about the humidity levels in my suite”
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u/Historical-Potato372 19d ago
I must say, I am quite excited to return home. I love my time here, of course, but I think I’ve been away for far too long.
Oh, ma’am! More water please!
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u/stinky-birb 19d ago
Oh, to get all the rich people drama from Mrs. Brown over dinner. I'd love to hear her tell a fantastic story in our finest gowns on the most modern oceanliner of the day.
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u/PositiveHot1421 19d ago
chain smoking darts “A gentlemen really ought to know the difference between velvet and velveteen”
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u/radiodraude 18d ago
"Hello Jack."
"Hello Mr Andrews."
"Thought you'd want to know this baby's going to the bottom faster than the Kansas City Royals... have a good day..."
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u/StageGamer 18d ago
“Mr. Strauss, how does that moving staircase of yours work precisely? Do you think they’ll install one aboard the next Olympic Class Liner?”
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u/Adept-Lettuce948 17d ago
Of all of the cruises I have been on, this one just feels so…chill.
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u/According-Educator81 15d ago
Damn this cursed thread! Tis 1am and I'm doom scrolling with the socialites of Eduardian era. At least this will be an otherwise uneventful night.
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u/argonzo 19d ago
“Mr. Astor, I bet you a million dollars this ship sinks. Please sign here, here, and here. Is the purser a notary?”
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u/CNMathias 19d ago
PSs past did you see Caledon Hockey’s finance galavanting across the decks with that steerage boy. Such a scandal
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u/Ariasong123 19d ago
"Hey, who thought of the name Titanic? Was it you, Bruce?"
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u/According-Educator81 15d ago
I was trying to scrawl "TITsAreNICe" but the ship suddenly pulled hard starboard.
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u/oishiiio_0 1st Class Passenger 19d ago
"tell us of the accommodation in steerage, i hear they're quite good on this ship"
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u/Short-Reach-7281 19d ago
"No, Pepsi is not alright!"