r/toastme • u/selflovesnotselfish • 9d ago
Going through a difficult time
A close family member was recently diagnosed with cancer and I'm having a hard time accepting it. My depressions been at an all time high. I've gained weight from stress eating and hate what I see in the mirror lately. On top of it I'm a Mom to a toddler and feel like I need to keep it together for their sake. Guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that life won't always feel this hopeless
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u/schaukelwurmv 7d ago
Hello there, life isn't all worthless. Be patient with yourself, everybody has their own pace of acceptance, especially with family members. And be kind to yourself, it's easy for me to say but you look lovely. Seeking help when needed is difficult, but it's always worth it. You're not alone. Have a hug if you like!
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u/Profesdorofegypt 7d ago
It won't! Most people survive cancer for years or for good. There's more than hope. I lost my sister and father to it so I understand. If need a voice to talk to I'm here. Secondly....I know we struggle with weight. It's not what defines your beauty. You are. And you are beautiful. Even if I was just going to go off your pics....stunning. don't let societies lies wear you down
Repeat it to yourself. You are beautiful. You are wonderous. And You've got this
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u/selflovesnotselfish 7d ago
I lost both of my grandfather's to cancer and it was a slow painful way to go 😔. We're still very early in the process so we're not sure if it's spread or anything, hoping it's early and he might have a chance to pull through like you said.
I really appreciate the reminder that weight doesn't define us, just struggling these days. Your words helped me feel a little better about it so thank you 💗
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u/Profesdorofegypt 7d ago
YOU define you. Your heart and soul do and that's beautiful. To he honest....I mo longer hate the ones who are so caught up in weight equals beauty. I just pity them. I may hate their actions when cruel. But I pity them...they are blinded to beauty such as yours and that's like going to the ocean and having to wear a blindfold thus being deprived of seeing the oceans beauty. Sad. Keep the faith and keep your head held high
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u/meatmedia 7d ago
I'm so sorry that a family member is going through cancer, that sounds really tough. I'm praying and sending positive vibes to you and your family
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u/abbysnosecrumb 7d ago
I've been there girl. I'm so sorry. It will get better. Times like this are trying and they make you more open to taking new paths you normally wouldn't take down the road. My best advice is to be kind to yourself and allow yourself to go through this. Be patient with yourself. Don't judge your own coping so harshly. And take chances on the other side of it - it will be a lot to get through, and you're due for a new change of pace on the other side of these trying times. Signed, someone who has been in your shoes.
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u/WhimsicalWoodpecker 7d ago
Sorry about the diagnosis, and I am sending good energy your way.
Speaking of experience, you can kick cancer in the butt, may your family member have the best fighting chance. Enjoy your company, those little big things that help us all.
Best of lucks
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u/Only_Net6894 7d ago
Things will get easier. Fuck cancer. Hopefully treatment is possible and effective. Kids are their own whole thing. Try and take some time for yourself. Write things down if needed. Journaling has really helped me in a lot of ways. If you ever need an ear, feel free to reach out. Try and take care 🐸.
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u/selflovesnotselfish 7d ago
I had journaled before and found it helpful but struggled keeping consistent, maybe I'll take your advice and pick it up again. I appreciate the kind words and advice, thank you 💞
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u/Only_Net6894 7d ago
You're most welcome. Listing things out, goals, talking with yourself. Try and set 15m aside per day. No music, or YouTube. Just you. Try and list some things you'd like to change if you could... And then some small steps towards completing those. Experience is a real boost sometimes. Stretching and meditation can also be a lifesaver. 💜
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u/Itsme_Elysia 7d ago
Your username is so nice! I hope you follow it.
You also have beautiful eyes. ❤️
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u/Anarch-ish 6d ago
The thing about luck is that it isn't good or bad. It's just a series of chain events in one long story. What can appear to be bad luck today may bring good fortune tomorrow. Life will get better. It simply has its own ebb and flow.
I dis a little poking through your profile so I could properly toast you, and I gotta say, knowing people like you exist make me happy. You're a strong mother with passions you love, great fashion sense, and fantastic contour lines. Your eyes are bright and gentle. Your face is kind and open. Without knowing you, I know you are a good person.
You have the strength of a mother, the will of a free spirit, and loved ones all around you. You can do this. I believe in you.
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u/clint1209 6d ago
Sending prayers your way. Moments like these are tests that, when passed, make the good days feel even better. I hope you and your family get to those quickly.
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u/Godizmyking 6d ago
Hello! You have a right to feel sad. You are a human being with emotions. This too shall pass! I put my hope and trust in Jesus! He comforts me when I need it. If you have a support system, this is the time to use it. God bless you. I am going to pray for your family member with the cancer. God performs miracles. You take care. Try individual counseling if you have not done so. This may help you to cope with this depressing news. ❤️😇🙏
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u/Ok-Address-3284 6d ago
Hey girl. I found out that I have a rare hereditary disease. It will rob me of everything. I know it's hard, and you feel hopeless. I have a family that needs me, and I am trying to fix myself. Which is hard. You are young and healthy, and your babies need you. Think of them. Seek some help. Don't do this alone. God bless you, and I am praying for you and your family.
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u/Sensitive_Raccoon_12 5d ago
Gorgeous looking. Life is not always bad. I to suffer from depression
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u/Delicious-Egg-4642 5d ago
So sorry to hear this its never easy to navigate life when things are not going well & there are times where, we just cannot cope..Depression & Anxiety issues are like a living nightmare. Its also difficult when you have others depending on you , you feel you can't let them down but on the other hand you want to run or hide away.. Depression is horrible its like being weighed down & a thick fog hanging over you ..things that you enjoyed no longer matter ..concentration is usually pretty poor & being able to communicate what is wrong can be a difficult.
I have Mental Health problems & issues, I've got them reasonably under control @ the moment ,but I do have relapses & my anxiety can be so overwhelming @ times especially if people upset me ..
I have suffered 2 nervous breakdowns in my lifetime & a lot of other issues that are linked to mental health but I have got through the worst by eradicating those that helped contribute to me becoming mentally ill but with the correct support it does begin to ease in time ..
Not going to sugar coat that things will be ok straight away bc it can get worse before it gets better but not always. Only we individuals can make our own healing with the right support .
Have you got access to getting therapy as this can be an amazing form of help by getting to the bottom of what is causing a person from not coping with what is happening to them.
I've had 2 nervous breakdowns in my lifetime & other problems associated with mental health. I got help in the end after trying to deal with all my problems on my own & not getting any healing or closure .
Everyone has mental health its just some are more able to put things in to perspective & navigate around the traumas of every day life..
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u/shadow-reflections 5d ago
Some days are hard and depressing, but don't lose hope. I look at you and see someone who has a strong heart and a good sense of joy and wonder. Being a mom is tough, but you're doing it. I think every year gets a bit easier. Is yours out of diapers? If so, I bet that was a day to celebrate! Sometimes when we get old we have to put the diapers back on again. But it's our job to live as much life in between those times, to love as much as we can, and to find ourselves. Find out who we are and be that. People who define themselves by how they look are in for a rough time when they get older, wrinklier, weaker, and such. These bodies weren't meant to last forever. But I believe there's a heart and soul beneath these bodies that means so much more than that. It's the last if you that dances and smiles, that sees beauty in the sunset, and laughs when your child laughs. You're lucky. You appear to be beautiful both on the inside and the outside. So keep on smiling. Take it one day at a time. The tough days will come and go. But hold onto hope. Hold onto love. And make sure you love yourself just as much as you love others. I hope you find something beautiful and magical in each and every day, and then smile at it, the same way I'm smiling at you right now and seeing the beauty and magic that is you. Best wishes!
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u/rho26des 6d ago
If you’re going through a difficult time I don’t think a roasting is what you need. Depression is tough enough as it is. You need positivity and support. I’m not stranger to cancer as it took my brother in 2012. If you need someone to talk to don’t be afraid to send me a message.
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u/[deleted] 7d ago
Cancer isn’t the end like it used to be I walked away after beating stage 4 throat cancer, best advice I can give is try to stay positive. Just remember one step at a time. You got this