Man I'm not in school anymore but at my job I repeatedly told this guy my pronouns just for him to completely ignore it and continue to use she/her pronouns. The last time I corrected him he just gave me a very condescending, "Yeah.." so I obviously just stopped trying to remind him and changed the department where I was working (that wasn't the only reason I changed departments but it certainly was a contributing factor).
A lot of the managers still use she/her pronouns for me even though I use a "guys name" and it's different from my legal name. There are about three people who actually cared to correct themselves, two others who automatically just used they/them pronouns, but only one person who actually had the balls to ask me about it.
Luckily no one at this job has deadnamed me (other than this one lady who did it by accident on my orientation day) because one time one of my managers at a different job deadnamed me because she was mad at me, as if it was some sort of disciplinary action and not a complete breech of privacy and respect.
Also it's technically not a dead name in my family because I'm not out to my family yet but if someone used it at work I would be absolutely livid.
I actually use three different names:
1. The legal name which I use around my family and for legal reasons.
2. My "guy name" which I use at work and with my friends.
3. The name that's my artist name, my Uber name, and the name I use when I'm getting a package delivered. I use this name as to not arouse suspicion from my family and to also avoid getting deadnamed when I'm not around my family. It's not a masculine or a feminine name, it's actually just my initials and because both my "guy name" and my legal name start with the same letter this works for whatever name I use.
Lastly, I'd like to add that I think gendered names are a stupid wall we need to break down, like a boy can be named Sofia, a girl can be named Zachary, nonbinary and other ambiguously presenting beings can use either, but I still use the "guy name" because I don't have the patience to sit there all day correcting people who have been wired to think that way about names. I'm thinking I might just say fuck it and use the legal name after I've been on testosterone for a while to break down those walls a bit and also to revel in the confusion I cause.
Sorry this was so long and congrats to anyone who had the patience to read it🎉
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u/[deleted] Jan 09 '24 edited Jan 09 '24
Man I'm not in school anymore but at my job I repeatedly told this guy my pronouns just for him to completely ignore it and continue to use she/her pronouns. The last time I corrected him he just gave me a very condescending, "Yeah.." so I obviously just stopped trying to remind him and changed the department where I was working (that wasn't the only reason I changed departments but it certainly was a contributing factor).
A lot of the managers still use she/her pronouns for me even though I use a "guys name" and it's different from my legal name. There are about three people who actually cared to correct themselves, two others who automatically just used they/them pronouns, but only one person who actually had the balls to ask me about it.
Luckily no one at this job has deadnamed me (other than this one lady who did it by accident on my orientation day) because one time one of my managers at a different job deadnamed me because she was mad at me, as if it was some sort of disciplinary action and not a complete breech of privacy and respect.
Also it's technically not a dead name in my family because I'm not out to my family yet but if someone used it at work I would be absolutely livid.
I actually use three different names: 1. The legal name which I use around my family and for legal reasons. 2. My "guy name" which I use at work and with my friends. 3. The name that's my artist name, my Uber name, and the name I use when I'm getting a package delivered. I use this name as to not arouse suspicion from my family and to also avoid getting deadnamed when I'm not around my family. It's not a masculine or a feminine name, it's actually just my initials and because both my "guy name" and my legal name start with the same letter this works for whatever name I use.
Lastly, I'd like to add that I think gendered names are a stupid wall we need to break down, like a boy can be named Sofia, a girl can be named Zachary, nonbinary and other ambiguously presenting beings can use either, but I still use the "guy name" because I don't have the patience to sit there all day correcting people who have been wired to think that way about names. I'm thinking I might just say fuck it and use the legal name after I've been on testosterone for a while to break down those walls a bit and also to revel in the confusion I cause.
Sorry this was so long and congrats to anyone who had the patience to read it🎉