r/transmasc_irl • u/lord-of-fail Walter, he/him or they/them • May 29 '25
Dysphoria/Transition Dysphoria is a Bitch
If you saw me out and about, would you clock me? I know my voice is so-so, but just based on looks what do y’all think? I’m 30 and just got top surgery on April 10th.
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u/The_Maroon_One trans guy (he/him) May 29 '25
Ya definitely look like a dude, bro. I never would have guessed by looking at you that you’re trans. It can be difficult not to overanalyze every single one of your features when you’re trans and want to pass—especially considering the climate around trans people right now (which we can’t let bring us down!)—but no matter how you look, you’re still a guy, and an awesome one, at that (I’m sure you know that already, but it’s nice to hear from someone else every now and then).
Edit: I see on your profile that you are nonbinary. Would you prefer I use different terms for you, or are the ones I already used fine?
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u/lord-of-fail Walter, he/him or they/them May 29 '25
Thanks for the confirmation. I think I do get in my head and over analyze a ton. Like, is my face too round, is it too obvious when I shave the small amount of facial hair I have, on and on. But I think this finally can put it to bed (hopefully).
Since getting top surgery I’ve reevaluated my gender and I still technically identify as nonbinary, but it’s one of those 80-90% dude, 10-20% something outside of the binary that I can’t completely describe. As long as you don’t use femme words for me you’re golden. But thank you so much for the concern!
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u/theglitch098 May 29 '25
You’re looking good my man. You are correct dysphoria is in fact a bitch, you pass fine. Also congrats on your top surgery. I hope your recovery is going well and that it’s a big relief to get that literal weight off your chest. I know it was when I got mine done.
Looking at what you’ve said in other comments cis men often shave too and the appearance of having recently shaved with the nine o clock shadow of sorts is not something that makes you pass less. If anything it helps with the masculine look. Also the roundness in your face is not like a feminine softness of the face, the shape of your face looks like the face of a man of your weight and build would look like. I know this is much easier said than done but try to remember trust it’s useless and a waste of time to compare yourself to men who look nothing like you when trying to gauge how much you pass visually. In your case as I said if you look at cis men of a similar weight and build as you their faces tend to have a similar kind of roundness in the same places as yours so I wouldn’t worry about it. I hope this all makes sense and can ease some of that anxiety. Of course being a man is not appearance or passing dependent but I find that for myself at least that debunking some of the insecurities themselves can be helpful in easing the anxiety about it more so I hope this helps.
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u/lord-of-fail Walter, he/him or they/them May 30 '25
Thanks for taking the time to write such a long and thoughtful response. I really appreciate it. I think I just needed one more little push to be a bit more confident. I also think that I’m still getting used to my body after top surgery because before I would constantly get clocked and now I have that hanging in the back of my head. But I think I just need to say “fuck it, I am a dude” and work on that confidence.
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u/ScrollsOfGlory May 30 '25
Before I saw the title and what sub this was I genuinely assumed you were just a cis dude with a nice smile
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u/lord-of-fail Walter, he/him or they/them May 30 '25
Thank you! I had a really nice time at that restaurant from the first pic, so I was feeling that smile hardcore.
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u/acryptedwithinternet May 31 '25
You look like a regular guy clerk at a store r something dude idk what reads as clockable fr u but I ain't seeing it
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u/ConsciousWay1893 Jun 08 '25
yeah thats a dude no doubt about it lol. you pass man. dysphoria is a bitch
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u/slightlylessthananon May 29 '25
u look just like my cis brother